Soul.

So soulful.

Scott sent me a link to a song, Beyond by Leon Bridges last night.

Blew me away.

I haven’t heard this type of soulful sound in years, especially from a modern artist.

It transports me back to a different time.

That chorus, that hook. So catchy. So great.

So in love.

I’m listening to his album now, getting my fill of the soulful music that I didn’t realize I was missing.

Hurting.

Pain.

I bruised my ribs a few days ago.

How?

I leaned over a shopping cart.

Yep.

That’s all I did.

I leaned over a shopping cart and fell on the child seat back wrong.

At fucking Costco.

Yep.

Now, pain.

It’s hard to sleep. Hard to sit down. Hard to do much of anything.

Yep.

So damn proud of myself.

So. Damn. Proud.

Hopefully it’ll heal within the next week or two.

Not much I can do.

Sawtelle.

It’s a popular hot spot in Westside.

Japantown.

That’s another name for it.

It’s a little strip filled with Asian food.

When I first moved here, it was mostly Japanese food, hence the moniker.

Now, we have a good mix of different kind of Asian food.

Japanese, Chinese/Shanghainese/Taiwanese, Korean, Philippines, Vietnamese.

There’s’ no Thai, but I’m sure one day there will be one.

The rent, expensive.

This little tea shop has a rent of $10K/mo. Fucking ridiculous.

Westside.

It’s a popular area and if you want skin in the game, you got to pay a large premium.

I’m glad I live so close. I’m glad I have some good Asian food on the west side.

The Vietnamese food isn’t the best, but it’s something. At least there is Viet food.

There’s something to fill my cravings when I don’t want to cook Viet food.

Ahh, food. I’m such a whore for it.

Food.

I love food.

Normal.

I’m trying to get back to normal.

What is normal?

No idea.

It’s not what it was.

There’s a sense of never being able to get back to how things were before the scope of work changed at the Agency for me.

There’s a lot more work. There’s a lot more responsibility.

I get home from work and I don’t want to think about anything anymore.

I get home from work and I don’t want to think about all the unfinished and unfinished tasks and projects that I need to get on.

There’s so much.

My brain is fried.

I can’t focus on anything.

Bored.

Distracted.

My brain is different.

I’m different.

I just want to go back to how things were.

Or how my behavior was.

I just want to go back.

Can I?

I’m scared to death that she might be it/that the love is real/that the shoe might fit…

That chorus.

That hook.

She might be my everything/Beyond.

My mind wanders.

Distracted.

No focus.

It’s time for me to move on.

Tomorrow.

It’ll be something else. Tomorrow will be work.

Project.

Script.

Tomorrow.

Wagon Wheel

Hey Momma rock me….

Going with some twang today, some little bluegrass twang to get me through my finger tappings.

I’m switching it up from the heart felt sincerity of The Greatest Showman musical, which I’ve been listening to nonstop since I watched the movie on my flight back from Dallas.

It was just great.

I kind of regret not watching it on the big screen. It would have been a spectacle.

I would have a smile from ear to ear and tears streaming down my face.

It my type of musical.

I had to change the code to my little above thought separator.

I can’t use a simple center tag anymore, but a div tag.

New things.

Change.

It’s easy to remember.

Things to keep in mind as I made the change to the new site.

It is what it is.

Things are things…as someone puts it.

It is what it is.

Tired.

My body.

My mind.

My soul.

All tired.

So tired.

That’s my life now, The Tired Life.

Maybe that should have been the title to this little entry.

Maybe not.

It’s just been a lot at work.

I’m behind on my projects. I’m behind on the little things that I need to do.

I’ll have to start working a few hours over the weekends soon. I need to decide on when to start.

Soon.

Soon.

Everything is manageable.

I just need time.

Focus.

Soon.

Things will fall in place.

Things will be back to normal, or whatever kind of normal I thought things were.

Things will be what they will be.

Time will tell.

The above new code puts an extra carriage return.

Quirk.

Annoyed but I’ll live with it.

It is what it is.

I’m tempted to do another separator, fuck it.

Let’s proceed.

Watched Leave No Trace.

It was good. A coming of age story about a girl and her father who’ve been living in Forest Park in Oregon.

Their home is in the woods.

It’s a movie about independence. Living life in their terms and ultimately making the ultimate decision to become fully independent and live life on your terms.

The movie definitely hit home for me.

The decision at the end.

Heart breaking but I empathized.

The movie hit very close to home for me.

I made a similar decision and continue to make it.

I make decisions for myself, for my life, and my happiness.

It’s my life.

Not my families.

Sometimes, the toughest decision is to hurt the ones you love the most because it is about your happiness and your life. Not theirs.

Not theirs.

I moved.

I’m single.

I live my life.

Sigh…didn’t want to argue today.

The new boba girl gave me the wrong tea. She gave me milk tea instead of my regular tea.

Sign.

I’m over it.

New.

Different.

Going with it.

I don’t think she probably ever had anyone order non-milk tea before.

Eh.

Over it.

Stop.

New div.

When will I start on my creative projects?

I don’t know.

I should.

Soon.

That’s what I keep saying.

Soon.

Eventually, that soon will be here, and I’ll start.

Soon.

I need to watch more Christmas movies.

How can I watch movies when I can’t even focus on any movie or tv shows?

I’m so scattered-brained now, it’s hard to keep focus.

I’ll manage.

I have to.

I need to.

Rey.

Of course, she sees what I’m drinking and mentions something about it.

Something new?

She gave me the wrong one.

They offered to get me the right one, but I declined.

Too much of a hassle. Too much work.

Going to leave it since I’m almost finished with it anyway.

I got this weekend.

I got my usuals this weekend. The Viet Girl on Saturday and Ashley on Sunday.

Just one day of milk won’t kill me.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Depends on how much lactose is in this shit.

I got dinner planned for the day and maybe for the weekend.

Lunch?

Should I buy lunch?

Probably not.

Gonna try a Salami and Pickles Grilled Cheese sandwich when I get home.

Put on a movie or even Cloak & Dagger and cook while watching that.

I ain’t doing shit today.

JACK SHIT.

I’m going to be lazy.

Eat. Sleep. Watch TV.

It’s a couch potato day as I fall back to my regular schedule.

Let’s see how it works.

Let’s see what happens.

Tired.

Sick.

How many times have I started a post with those two words.

Tired.

Sick.

Quite a bit.

I am. Tired. Sick.

Dallas.

They have been moved to their new temporary Regus space.

They are all setup and good to go, for the most part. They can operate well, if I leave.

All of their stuff has been moved to storage.

All in all, it was a good move. It was an easy trip.

It was a long fucking week with long days, but I got the job done with minimal help or effort.

In and out.

That’s how I like it.

In and out.

The only thing that remains is getting them on their own private vlan, so I can set up their network printing.

Regus’s IT is slow.

That’s what their receptionists told me.

I’m aware.

Slow.

One of the ports is still down on Friday. They have a ticket open. Let’s see what happens on Monday.

I got a few hours left of work before I head to the airport.

Ideally, I want to wrap everything up and leave them at the best place before I leave.

Right now, they are just at a good place.

I want to finish everything, but it’s out of my hands.

So out of my hands.

* * *

Sick.

I knew it was going to happen.

I had a feeling.

It’s hot in Dallas.

I mean, fucking melt your skin off, dry dry heat.

100s.

I shit you not, triple digits.

It’s hot on the outside, but when you get inside a building, AC blasts its frigid breath so that you’ll need to wear an extra layer or two to feel comfortable.

I’m in a hoodie and that’s still not enough. I manage.

Sick.

That’s where I am now.

Sick.

In a hotel room.

Sunday.

My last free day before another work week starts and I’m not out exploring the city.

I don’t want to do anything today.

I want to lay in bed, in this hotel room, watching Netflix and resting.

That’s all I want to do.

I don’t want to socialize. I don’t want to talk to anyone.

I just want to rest.

Sick.

Tired.

That’s what I did yesterday.

I went to an early screening of Sicario: Day of Soldado at the Alamo Drafthouse and then had a long lunch next door.

It was a relaxing morning and early afternoon.

My first experience with the pretty cool theater chain.

The food at the Yard House wasn’t bad. I sat at the bar.

Instead of choosing a tv with the World Cup on, I sat in front of a tv that had the Cornhole championships.

What is Cornhole?

FUCKING BEAN BAG TOSS.

Holy fucking shit. Fucking BEAN BAG TOSS has a name AND fucking holy hell, it’s a televised sport.

I sat there, the whole time, eating and watching the matches.

My eyes would glance over to the World Cup match from time to time, but my focus was mainly on Cornhole.

Fascinating.

These athletes have a lot of skill. More skill than I ever would possess in a game that is about tossing something into a hole.

Fucking holy hell.

Amazing.

By this time, I knew I was sick.

I woke up that way.

My throat was hurting. That little soreness in my tonsil.

That’s the sure-fire way I know that I’m sick.

Ate, rested, and knocked back a few beers.

I drove back to the hotel and took a long ass nap.

I was tired.

I don’t sleep well in hotels and this experience was no different.

I kept my normal sleeping schedule.

Fall asleep between 10-11pm and wake up around 6am.

In between are the dreaded 2-4am hour where I will be awake, having my 3am thinking sessions of work and what not.

It’s when I do my best thinking…about work.

It’s about work.

Not about my creative projects.

Work.

Fuck my life.

I just want to get through a night of sleeping, adjusting my body to the right temperature where i can sleep in a listless slumber, having my flickering mind images, healing my body.

Those don’t come easy

Not easy at all.

That’s where I am.

Now.

Hotel room.

Writing.

* * *

Plans.

I have none.

Rest.

That sounds ideal.

That sounds like a plan.

I’ll run out, get some food, and come back to the hotel.

No exploring.

No foot tripping.

None of that.

It’s way too hot to go out and do anything.

Being out in the heat doesn’t sound fun at all.

My mind starts to wander.

It’s time.

It’s my signal to move the fuck on and start my lazy day.

Adieu adieu.

 

It’s another day.

A Sunday.

Clouds. Gloom. Gray.

June Gloom.

There’s a name for it. Soon, the marine layer will dissipate.

The sunshine will come through.

Just not now.

Not yet.

It’ll take some time. It works on its own schedule. Not mine.

It’s another day.

Here. Routine. Writing.

Getting my thoughts on this little void of mine. This little place I call my own.

Volcano Tea House.

It’s still my quick go to on the weekends. It’s my outlet of getting out of the house.

My little own teashop.

Routine.

Jasmine Green Tea. No sugar. No boba.

Straight up tea.

It’s how I like it.

Routine.

* * *

I don’t remember when I first started to come here. It was definitely after I got Pickles, so around 2006.

I use to write at night.

I use to go out to the Westside Pavilion and write on the bridge. It was a different time back then. Now, I can’t.

My brain juices don’t flow as easily as it once did. These creative juices stuck in its viscous flow.

It’s hard.

Here, I am, typing, clearing my mind when I do have a project to do.

Screenplays.

My Christmas Screenplay.

I haven’t written anything creative in a long time.

I digress.

Volcano.

2006.

It was when I started to write not at night but during the day and only on the weekends. My nights at that time focused on being there with Pickles.

I can’t leave him alone after leaving him alone all day.

My life changed. Habits changed.

That’s a part of life.

Changes.

One has to roll with them.

I keep rolling.

12 years.

I’ve been coming here regularly for 12 years.

I’ve met so many different boba girls here. They come and go.

I even dated one.

That didn’t last too long.

Life.

Changes.

It’ll always be a big part of my life. This place had been where I deal with most of my mental issues.

This was my therapist’s office. I’d come to get my brain shrinked with my writing.

THIS.

It’s my outlet.

It’s my therapy.

Writing.

Volcano.

How long will I continue to come here?

I don’t know.

I’m not thinking about it.

Change.

It’ll come.

I’ll roll with it.

Keep rolling.

That’s me.

* * *

I’ve been struggling for the past few weeks in trying to find the best way to write these little entries of mine. Since I’ve moved to WordPress.com, I’m not able to use Semagic anymore. It doesn’t work. Doesn’t connect.

I love this client. I’ve been using it since almost the beginning.

I’m sure it started from my Live Journal days, then to my self-hosted WordPress site.

I was sad that it didn’t work.

Change.

Not rolling with it that much.

Maybe this new way would work. Write it out here and paste it in the uploader. I’m giving it a shot. Maybe.

Let’s see how it works.

I could work. Just a few more steps to get what I need. Just a few more steps to get what I want.

We shall see.

Let’s see.

* * *

Shitty workarounds.

That’s pretty much what I’m dealing with.

Open Live Writer is fine, but it’s slow. It doesn’t behave properly, like it is a resource hog or there’s a memory leak somewhere.

Semagic is better. Small. Lightweight.

I’m able to do code in the fly.

Quick.

Easy.

Let’s see how it goes.

* * *

It’s that time again. Traveling to the regions to upgrade servers and do work.

I did Chicago last year and we’ll have to go back again this year, as we need to give them a bigger server and send their current server out to Moorestown.

It is what it is.

But there’s a lot of politics when it comes to travel.

Everyone would like to travel but not everyone can do the work independently without fucking up.

Not that many can.

It’s a matter of knowhow and skill and it’s a matter of experience.

I’m going to Dallas next week to move them to a Regus space for a few months while their new office finishes.

It’s very last minute considering they planned this whole thing in about three weeks when we’ve known for years that the lease on our current location ends at the end of the month.

Poor planning on our managements part, but that’s no surprise to us.

Not really.

I’m going.

I have no faith in the person that wants to go.

None.

I’ve worked with him before on a few trips and he just gets my blood boiling.

No work ethic. Lack of skills and technical knowhow and not good at time management.

He sees these trips as fun trips, as a mini vacation and not work.

I see these trips as work trips and if I get extra time, I’ll go do something and explore.

There were times when all I did was work and didn’t have much time to play.

Long hours. Late nights in the office.

It is what it is.

I’m going.

I have a clear vision and idea of what needs to be done and how to do it.

I’m going to do some training and getting users out there familiar with SharePoint and Teams also.

It’ll be a double whammy.

It’ll be long days of prepping and working and dismantling. It’ll all boil down to time management.

Friday will be a day of setting things up after the move. I hope I get things configured before, like on Thursday, but most likely, that won’t be the case. No one will be in. It’ll be moving day.

I have one full day with everyone and I need to squeeze everything in.

It’ll be fun.

Fun times.

But Friday. Friday would be a day of catching up, doing things, finishing up on the many outstanding SharePoint projects that I haven’t started.

It’ll be a day.

I’ll be a big day indeed.

---

I might have to start working weekends again.

It makes sense. It’s almost necessary.

I know how distracted I get at work. I can’t get into the groove and do things.

Calls.

Emails.

Teams messages.

People reaching out for help.

Meetings.

So many different distractions.

I need time alone, to process my thoughts and the work that I have.

All necessary.

So necessary.

So behind.

I want to take all the easy SharePoint things off Carloz’s plate so he can focus on more of the coding and customizations that he was hired for.

Workflow.

So behind.

I’m so behind.

There’s just so little time and so much to do.

I’m in the jungle, man.

Way over my head.

Lost.

Stressed.

Work.

More work.

---

Things are things.

Things are things.

That’s how things are.

The dynamics of work changed. It’s not what it used to be.

Now, it’s a constant barrage of asks and emails and texts in all hours wanting this and wanting that.

Inappropriate.

Take a break.

Work is not everything.

Your health is.

Your mental health is.

No one needs that unnecessary stress.

Work is work.

Work is not life.

One would think that life would be more important.

Find something else.

Go somewhere else.

Somewhere that respects you. Your position and what you bring to the table.

Find a place that gives you autonomy to do your fucking job and trust that you will do it with skill and efficiency.

Find a place that appreciates you.

Be kind.

Be kind to yourself.

You are important.

---

Clouds. Gray.

Lays thick.

A swift breeze blows.

It seems whatever short summer there was last week has change back to the gray that had marked this year so far.

Gray.

Gloomy.

Home.

Reminds me of home, but I need sun.

I need the Vitamin Ds, otherwise I’m in this little rut of meh that I struggle with from time to time.

The struggle is real.

So real.

---

Laziness.

Lazy Sundays.

Today feels like one of them.

I didn’t really make any plans this weekend.

I intended to do some cleaning, but I think I’m going to skip it and lay on the futon, watching movies and whatever shows that I’m watching.

I may do some ironing.

I’m out of shirts.

Other than that.

Nothing.

No cooking.

No planning.

No thinking.

Things are happening and I don’t care.

I just don’t care.

---

Socializing.

This past week was a busy week for me. It was a week where I was only home for one night. It definitely wasn’t a normal week.

It started out normally enough. Move Night Monday.

Simple and clean. Routine.

Hereditary.

It was interesting and a little disturbing. Overall, it wasn’t bad, definitely NOT great, but interesting.

Tuesday was the big event. Another movie night, but with coworkers. We’ve made plans the week before to go watch Ocean’s 8. Didn’t end up happening.

I showed up to the theater as I normally would, early enough so I can get tickets, but I didn’t buy tickets. I wanted to wait for my coworkers so we can buy our tickets together using Movie Pass and so we can pick our seats together.

7:15 show time.

I waited and waited and waited. I knew it will sell out, but I waited anyway.

Time crept closer and closer to show time. No show.

Showtime came and went. No show.

I got a call. She wanted to ask what seat I got. I told her I was waiting outside.

2 minutes, she said.

2 minutes came and went.

Got a text 5 minutes later saying they were at the kiosk. I went inside. Not there.

They were in the wrong theater.

Long story short, they arrived at 7:25. Previews would have been over at that time. No seats.

Disappointed. Annoyed.

Yes I was.

They apologized profusely. They were disappointed too.

I’d already decided that I was going to get some food and they could do whatever they want. What ended up happening was that we all went to get some food and overall, the rest of the night wasn’t too bad.

Had a great dinner. It was a great sushi hand roll place that I never tried and would definitely go back.

After dinner, we went our separate ways.

Still a little annoyed, but I was okay.

I was over it.

* * *

Lessons.

That night taught me a few things about myself.

Patience.

I know that I had a right to be annoyed. That lack of solid planning irked the shit out of me, as I’m the type of person that values my time and other people’s time. It’s important.

I had to be more patient. I had to allow for plans to change and allow for other people. I can’t control everything. I know that. I have to allow for that and not get so angry or annoyed when shit like that happens.

I want to be a better person. Let things go.

Let it go.

I did.

However, I shouldn’t get as annoyed as I did.

I didn’t know the situation.

They had a prior thing that they went to and news dropped that one of their friends were quitting and moving away. It wasn’t a proper time for them to leave.

I had no control over that.

I didn’t know that was going to happen.

They showed up late.

Plans changed.

Let it go.

Stop being so annoyed.

Over it.

* * *

Wednesday was the only night I was home.

I relaxed.

Finished processing out the pictures from my US 395 roadtrip that I went on with Pickles. It was my Mini – Boy and His Dog trip.

I was happy with how the processing came out on some of the photos.

It was a simple night in.

It was great.

* * *

Thursday.

Movie night.

I had to decide on what to do. I was invited to a coworker’s 10 Year Anniversary Happy Hour on Friday. Was I going to go or was I going to stay home or possibly watch Incredibles 2 instead?

I decided to go to the happy hour on Friday and watch the movie Thursday instead.

The first thing I did in the morning before I started on the news was purchase my ticket.

Done and done.

Committed to the movie.

I blocked off time in the afternoon, letting people know that I was busy from 4-5 so they wouldn’t schedule me for a meeting.

Done and done.

The movie was amazing.

14 fucking years!

Worth the wait.

Definitely one of my favorite movies so far.

It had heart. It had comedy. It had action. It had drama.

It had everything.

* * *

Socializing.

Bringing it back to the beginning.

Friday was a rough day.

It wasn’t horrible where I wanted to quit and hide.

It was rough in trying to understand all of Media and how things are bought and placed and figuring out the different systems that we use so that I’m able to pull the specific data that we need and normalize them.

Meetings and meetings.

Little sit downs and run throughs with different people to get a better sense of things.

It was a busy day.

It made the day go by faster.

It was a good day.

Happy hour.

I wasn’t expecting to stay long.

I made the trip home first and came back in case I do end up staying long and that’s what ended up happening.

Socializing.

Overall, I had a fun night.

I had way too much to drink but I didn’t get drunk.

I chatted and socialized with people and coworkers.

It is getting easier.

I’m not as anxious anymore.

I notice my behavior on some things and I realize things I need to change and not do again.

I shouldn’t be encouraging more drinking.

That’s for another time.

Let it be and let it be.

I had a conversation with the anniversary girl. I haven’t talked with her in a long time and I know it’s because she had a thing for me and I didn’t feel the same. She needed to keep her distance. I understood that, and I respected that decision.

Apparently, she wants to set me up with some of her coworkers. Someone new that started last week and I brought up BFF and she got excited. She can see it.

She called her odd.

I’m not holding my breath and I’m not expecting anything or even pushing it.

I’m treating it as conversation, which it was.

You’re a great guy.

That’s what she says. I’m a great guy.

Let it be. Let it be.

* * *

Feels.

She feels too much.

The coworker who made plans with me on Tuesday felt really bad for what happened. She was disappointed in herself for doing that.

I told her to let it go.

She didn’t realize I was a One and Done type of guy.

I am.

But I do allow for other chances.

Sometimes.

I’ve let it go.

I’m over it.

She cried.

Tears.

I felt bad.

I told her she was fine. I’m over it. She has nothing to be sorry about.

Nothing.

She was fine.

She feels so much.

So much.

I feel for her.

I know when I should let things go.

I don’t always do it, but I do know when.

I’ve let it go.

I told her that she should.

She had nothing to apologize about anymore.

We’ve both said our pieces and things are out there and I hope things are clear between us.

She feels too much.

So much.

We’ll be fine.

Fine.

It’s done. It’s moved.

I finally moved this little void of mine.

It’s moved.

It’s new.

I’m not hosting it anymore.

WordPress.com.

I don’t have to worry about it being down and trying figure out how to fix it anymore. No more headaches of troubleshooting. No more headaches of trying to translate wrong information given to me on the web and from help support.

No more.

The only thing that I need to worry about now is content.

To be fair, it was just that once that GoDaddy fucked me over.

The other time, I fucked myself.

Sigh.

It’s a change and I’m all about changes this year.

39.

The year of change.

The year of yes.

My last year before adulting.

---

^^^^^

New.

With the new service comes new quirks or basically, just shitty thing that I have to deal with.

They are not life ending, but just different.

Growth, dealing with shit, right?

I’m writing this using a different client, not Semagic.

Doesn’t work with WordPress.com hosted sites.

I tried to find other clients that were similar in style, in simplicity, but nothing out there that works with Windows 10 or anything that comes close. Nothing at all.

It’ll be an adjustment.

It’ll be frustrating, but I’ll manage.

I’ll have to.

I’m sure I’ll find something else that might work for me, but right now, I have no choice and I’ll manage.

Learn. Grow.

Deal.

Life.

---

Irvine.

Asiantown.

I haven’t been down here since Yen left.

I’m meeting Linda and Sung for lunch while they are out here on vacay.

I don’t even remember the last time that I saw them. The last time I was out in Philly?

The last time I was out there for work.

I’m writing this at a teashop that is near the restaurant.

Asiantown.

I haven’t been around this many Asians in a while.

Sitting here, typing, next to some friends, chatting, I actually heard someone say “LOL” aloud in conversation.

Kids.

I don’t understand them.

Don’t think I ever will.

Seniors. In college. Ready for graduation.

Or maybe even highschool kids, ready for graduation.

I don’t know.

---

New Day.

Old hangout.

Back at Volcano, finishing this off.

It’s going to get some getting used to, and I don’t know if I like it.

There’s a lot of change with this, but it’s a little trying.

First world problems, I know, but hey, it’s me.

My problems.

So, back to it, back at it. Let’s get it started.

Let’s get it back.

---

No work.

No MS.

That’ll be a different post, but let’s talk about the trip.

Let’s talk about the banquet.

Let’s talk.

It was a mess.

Shit show would be a better word, but I’m glad in the end, everything worked out.

It’s shit like what happened that makes me really don’t want to have one or a wedding at all.

Keep it small. Keep it simple.

I feel sorry for the bride.

She was mad, upset, and everything was beyond her control.

Guests arrived on time.

By the time the bride and her family got there, there were no more tables.

NONE.

The parents struggle and scramble to get the employees to free up some tables and bring in more tables and make things work.

After about 2 hours, everyone was seated and ready to go and it proceeded.

Headache.

Mess.

Glad it wasn’t me, but I definitely felt for her.

It’s all over now and it’s time to focus on her real wedding in 2020.

Congrats to her and her fiancé.

---

Hiking.

Nature.

The main getaway.

I turned my little obligation into a side meditation trip.

Kings Canyon and Sequoia National Park.

AMAZING!

I started at Kings Canyon first.

I drove all the way through making very little stops since I’ve done most of that the first time that I was there a few years ago.

I planned on doing the hike that Stephanie recommended, the Zumwalt Meadow to the Roaring Rapids Falls. It looked to be a quick and easy four-mile hike, but I was ambitious. I wanted more.

I wanted something more strenuous, something longer, something on a whim.

That’s what ended up happening.

I started at Zumwalt meadows, finishing half the loop before I found another trail. I decided that it’ll be a big giant loop and I trudged ahead.

Step by step, mile by mile. Easy peasy.

When I got to Road’s end, literally where the road through Kings Canyon ends, I found another trail to Mist Falls. It was a 4.3 mile hike to the fall.

Decided.

Hiked through the woods and then along the Kings River.

I got to the falls and eventually then up to the top of the falls.

Was I ready to turn back? Not quite. Two miles up ahead was a place called Lower Paradise Valley.

I want to see paradise.

It wasn’t. Turned out to be a campsite.

But it was an adventure anyway. The views were amazing.

The river. The fall. The rapids.

Amazing.

The weather was great too. Not too scorching hot and not cold.

On the way up, I almost stepped on a rattlesnake.

It was well camouflage in the middle of the trail. It was dusty grey on the dusty grey rocks of the path.

I saw it move just as I stepped down and I jumped a few feet back, heart racing.

Scared the shit out of me.

I left it be as I went on my weary merry way.

At the campsite, which didn’t look like a campsite at all, I took a little tumble. I tripped on a big branch, scraped my knee, but it’s all a part of the game.

It’s all a part of the thrill.

At that moment, I trudged on a little more, but it was time.

Time to head back.

By the time I got to the trail head, I had to make a decision.

Should I continue on and finish the original hike I planned, or should I go to the hotel.

It was 4pm. I was a good 2 hours away from my hotel (getting out of the park and then the drive to Three Rivers).

What to do?

The end point was a good 1.6 miles away, so it’ll be a good hour hike.

It was time to go and I’ll finish that a different time.

In total, I did about 16-17 miles that day.

It was the first time hiking that something strange happened to me. My hands started to swell.

I didn’t know what it was. I thought maybe it was my camera and my backpack straps being too tight, but I don’t know.

Maybe I didn’t get enough water? Not enough salt?

I wasn’t sure.

I looked it up later and it was because I didn’t have enough salt and water. There was an imbalance of one or the other that caused it.

As I drank more water heading to the hotel, the swelling went down.

Kings Canyon.

Amazing.

It’s becoming a favorite place to go and hike. It’s a drive up. Clean and simple.

---

Hiking.

Day 2.

Sequoia National Park.

I didn’t have much planned that day. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.

Considering the weather was drastically different that day compared to my first visit, I decided that maybe I should redo everything that I did and in a way, that’s what I did, but all by foot, for the most part.

I drove up bright and early and did Moro Rock.

The views were majestic, but didn’t have the flare or the drama with the clouds that I first saw.

Next, I did Crescent Meadow and like last time, I took some off shoot trail to Logs Meadow.

In a way, I was doing exactly what I did last time, but in a way, I wasn’t. I took different trails and different paths.

During my morning hike, I ended up seeing a small herd of deer too.

Just AMAZING.

Unlike last time, I didn’t drive to the different sites. I left my car at Crescent Meadow intending to hike back. There’s a shuttle stop there too, just in case I felt too tired to hike back.

Loop.

One big loop.

I randomly picked trails that I believed would take me to where I needed to go, from one to the next, connecting and connecting.

I hiked my way to General Sherman and then back to Sunset View, hoping that I’ll have another magical moment with a family of deer again. No luck, but I got to see the view that Sunset View had to offer.

After, I went to the museum. I was out of water at this time. I only brought a 16 oz bottle, hoping that it would be enough for the day.

I didn’t want my hands to swell again, so I didn’t pack any food or extra water. I left my backpack in the car.

Thankfully, there’s a water fountain at the museum.

At the information desk, I was plotting the hike back to the meadow. The last leg. I asked how far was the hike back. 2.5 miles. The ranger said I could always take the free shuttle, but I was like, eh.….

“It’s not visceral for you,” she said.

I agreed.

2.5 miles and I was off.

I made it in about 30-40 minutes and then I was done.

It was over.

I got to the car, chugged water and filled up on my snacks as I prep to head back to the hotel.

I finished with about 12-13 miles for the day.

It was a great day.

Splendid views.

Gorgeous trees.

Sequoia, another beautiful place to go hike.

I think I hiked through most of the popular area of the park. Now it’s just the trails in the middle, the outskirts between Kings Canyon and Sequoia that remains to be explore.

Next time.

Definitely will be a next time.

---

Family.

As noted at the beginning of this post, I drove down to Irvine to meet Linda and Sung. I didn’t plan on spending the whole day with them, but that’s what I did.

I neglected Pickles, but thankfully, there were no accidents.

I felt bad, but overall, it was just great hanging out with them again.

It was great catching up with them and just chatting.

It was great playing with their son.

Family time.

It was great time.

I’m sure I’ll see them again this year.

Moorestown needs some work and I’ll make an effort to go.

Tired.

Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally.

Tuesday was a rough day for me. Microsoft. That one word, that one company says it all.

Microsoft.

I almost quit that day. Not really, but I so wanted to so I don’t have to deal with Microsoft anymore.

They disabled a feature that we were using without letting us know. I don’t know who had an issue with that problem, but we didn’t and now we have to figure out a workaround to do what we were able to do before.

I was angry. I was upset.

I realized I had anger management issues. I internalized that.

I don’t want to be that person.

I don’t want to be angry.

I don’t want to be the fucking asshole that takes out his frustrations out on people who are just doing their jobs.

I don’t want to be an asshole.

But man, Microsoft. They fucked me over.

Growing pains.

Learning my lessons.

Hopefully, it teaches me a lesson and I evolve and become a better person. I’m fucking hoping.

Let’s hope, shall we.

* * *

Quiet.

My weekends.

Quiet.

I don’t do much in the weekends. I talk to those that I have to interact with, which are mostly customer service people as I run my errands, but for the most part, I don’t interact much with anymore.

No friends to hang out with.

No neighbors that I have that type of relationship with.

Just my pets.

I fuck with them a lot.

Not much interaction.

Not much of a life outside of work and that’s a choice.

My choice and I’m okay with it.

It’s my time to recharge, rest, energize myself to face the forthcoming week.

Life is a matter of balance.

I get my socializing all at work and when I get home and on the weekends, I need time to myself to recharge.

It’s my time to think, write notes, and work on whatever project that I’m working on.

I’m brainstorming on my current movie idea.

I jot down my notes, come up with more ideas, work on the story, work on the logic, and then one day, it’ll come time to write.

That FADE IN:

That will come.

Soon? Who knows?

* * *

The Christmas Romance.

How romantic will it be?

Who knows?

How Christmassy will it be?

No idea.

Bah humbug.

I got an idea for the story; I just need to figure out the structure, the conflict, and all of the characters.

Once I figure out an overall structure and arc, I think I’ll be ready. I won’t tie myself to the structure, but just enough to guide my way, to help with an end goal and a direction.

Soon, my entries here will become more and more sparse, and few and far between.

That’ll be my focus.

I haven’t written a script in years and creatively in who the fuck knows when. I’m excited though.

I miss it. I miss those creative juices, the splurge of ideas and constant finger tappings.

I miss it.

Hopefully I can get back to it.

Hopefully I won’t get distracted.

Then what? Maybe back to some prose, my little story ideas, or maybe even that short story or novella or maybe even the novel that I want to write.

I just want something.

I don’t care if I’m successful.

All I want is to finish and to publish.

* * *

Vacation.

I need to start thinking about when I’m going back to Washington.

I need to know when and where I’m going to work and I should plan around that. Well, maybe, maybe not.

I should just fucking plan it.

I just booked a short weekend trip out to Bishop with Pickles for Memorial Day Weekend, which is next weekend.

I don’t plan on much hiking, but just exploring the land with Pickles. We’ll do some hikes, but nothing really hardcore. I’m worried he won’t be able to keep up, but I’m sure he’ll be excited about it.

We’ll take it easy and find a nice easy stroll. We won’t be there for too long. I expect it to be more of a quick road trip where we’ll spend a lot of time in the car and find some scenic drives and such.

We shall see.

I still would like to do Sedona this year too. Not sure when, maybe later, in the fall or end of the summer. Maybe after I get back from Washington?

Should I do late July through early August again? Maybe. That seemed like a good time last time.

We shall see.

I have a lot of time to use. There’s not much use of saving days now that I get four weeks.

Spain next year will only be about two weeks.

Vacations.

Let’s do it.

No point in saving money.

Fuck it.

Spend.

Trips.

Vacations.

Get the fuck away.

Let’s just get away.

Here’s to getting away.

I think I used that one before as a title, but I’m sure I reused quite a few in the past 13 years or so.

Tired.

So tired.

I’m sick again.

Cold.

Not sure if it relates to the cold that I had about a week ago, but here I am again.

Coughing. Sniffling. Sneezing. Body Aching.

Fun times.

Fun times, indeed.

Tired.

Fatigued.

Blah.

* * *

It’s cloudy today.

Gray.

Home.

It’s a nice day to cuddle up at home and not do anything. That’s the plan. That’s how I imagine my day going.

Nothing.

No work.

No thinking.

Just watching whatever movies or shows that I want to watch.

Nothing.

Just nothing.

I don’t want to think.

I don’t want to work.

Nothing.

Nothing.

* * *

It’s time to visit the regions again.

Atlanta will be the first one and I will not participate.

I won’t be back into the office until they need me there, so I won’t have to go.

I don’t mind going. I really don’t, I would rather go by myself.

It’s just that the main help desk guy that goes isn’t too great and he volunteered himself to go and since I can’t go, it leaves the other main system guy to go.

They don’t get along well, so someone will have a talking to and another guy will go.

He’s good. I like him and I think he’ll do great.

He can troubleshoot and problem solve and act quickly without much help.

I’m curious on how it’ll go, but I think it’ll be fine.

Dallas will be the next one. That’s a whole office move to a new location.

That’ll be a bitch.

It’ll be good though. They won’t get robbed again.

It’s been an interesting year this year, to say the least.

Work is winding down where it is manageable, but there’s fucking problems.

Of course there’s fucking problems.

Always fucking problems.

Microsoft. SharePoint.

Slow at intermittent times and there’s rhyme or reason as to why. Fucking ass. They’re help desk isn’t helpful.

There’s so much pressure for this to succeed and we are blind and clueless as to what the problem is.

No insights from anyone.

None.

* * *

I was home Thursday.

Sick.

It was May 10.

The dreaded day.

I only realized the day while I was walking Pickles.

Thankfully I was so out of it that day I didn’t think too much of it.

I slept most of the day.

I was tired.

But, it’s May.

It’s the dreaded month.

I think I’m okay.

I think I’m well.

I’ll survive.

I’ve been doing it.

* * *

I’m over it today.