No. I’m not becoming a Scientologist.

It’s just what came to mind when I needed a title or a subject to today’s post.

I’m still procrastinating on my weekly writing project, but to be fair, I opened up the latest story and reread what I wrote. I’m trying to familiarize myself with the narrative that I started.

I have it pictured in my head. What I want to do and what I want to say.

It’s a connected world.

I have decided that, these little prompts would all be within the same universe. Why not?

It should be interesting. It should be fun seeing other characters from other stories pop in and out of other narratives. We live in a busy and crowded world with many people in it. Why should everyone be so silo-ed (I had to look it up and the actual verb for the word is Isolate, but I wanted to say silo-ed) off from everyone else. We are all leads in our own story and supporting characters in others.

The world is a stage and we are all players goes the saying.

* * *

Things seem to be flowing a lot better. This brain fog fades away slowly brining clarity and focus in my mind. But unfortunately, I have to suffer some of the side-effects to my remedy.

Life. That’s how it goes. It’s never simple.

Never.

But I digress as I continue on with my finger tapping, working its strength up to par to my future writings, if I ever decide to get back on it. Focus. Focus.

FOCUS.

Things definitely seem easier. Reading is easier. Writing is easier. More flowy.

I like the flow. I need the flow. Mind to fingers without missing a beat. Mind to fingers without hesitation. Mind to fingers.

Tap tap tap tap.

Fingers tapping on keys. Keys makes words, sentences, paragraphs, thoughts.

Fingers. Keys.

Tap tap tap tap.

Things are definitely going clear. It’s just that I am a master procrastinator.

Procrastination is my life.

All I do is put off and wait.

I need a muse. I need motivation.

Tired. But hopefully things will get better.

I’m back on iron supplements. The brain fog and my general difficulties with focusing is really pissing me off. I had to jump back on it. It’s very frustrating for me to not be able to focus, concentrate, and just ingest what I’m listening to or reading.

Hopefully it doesn’t fuck with my stomach that much.

Speaking of which, the doctor, who I don’t think is a good one think I may have IBS. He told me to get some OTC probiotics and some fiber. So, that’s what I’m doing. The good thing is that I’m shitting better. Yay, I guess?

But man, this whole fatigue thing is really getting to me. Hopefully things will just be better. Hopefully all my stomach issues will be better as I try to figure out what I’m eating that may be causing my issues.

Progress? Who the fuck knows.

* * *

So, back to it, back to the grind, and man these past couple of weeks have been busy.

It’s just that we are in the progress of launching and pushing out new software and new tools to the agency and I’m heavily involved in the roll out. SharePoint training and site creation and OneDrive for Business and even Skype for Business. We are definitely making use of our Microsoft licenses. That’s a good thing, I guess, but yes, definitely very very busy.

I still have a lot of outstanding stuff to do, like getting back on creating the loaner database on SharePoint. I don’t even know if it is possible, but we shall see. New stuff, new learning curves.

* * *

I guess the iron supplements haven’t kicked in yet. Still a little unfocused on many things as so many things roll through my brain that I feel that I need to get to. So many.

Let’s focus and pare down to what I need to do. Finger tapping. Let’s do a little diddy…but oh wait, I need to check something.

Checked and let’s roll.

New section.

* * *

Yosemite.

Last weekend I continued on my little adventures for 2016 with another wilderness trip.

A refresher, it seems this year’s traveling them is hiking, nature, and California State/National Parks and it was time for Yosemite.

I don’t even remember the last time I was there. It was either 2009 or 2010 with my brother and it was definitely definitely time for me to go back.

It’s such a beautiful place, a magical place, full of beauty. But the shit thing about it is that it is always fucking crowded.

I kind of planned it about month or so ago, but didn’t really know exactly what I’ll be doing in terms of hiking and exploring.

It wasn’t until about a few days out that I had a definite plan of what I was going to do.

With the help of Ms. D I planned on doing the High Sierra Loop on Saturday and then just do something light and easy on Sunday before I head over to Fresno to visit family.

I’d meet up with Steve-O on Friday after he gets off of work and then on Monday, I’d go and explore Kings Canyon National Park a little.

It wasn’t until I was going to sleep the night before I was to leave that I found out that Obama was going to be in Yosemite the same weekend. I was fucked.

I love Obama and I think he’s great, but man, I wanted to go to Yosemite to get away from people and things and this was throwing a major wrench to my trip.

Steve recommended that I do the high country instead while Obama was in the valley and that’s what I did. I had to switch my plans around and for the most part, it worked out great.

So I rolled in to the Valley close to 1pm on Friday and was able to find some parking in a somewhat reasonable amount of time. I thought I had a lot of time before Steve-O left work, so I thought I was going to do the High Sierra Loop, but I opted not to. I didn’t really have that much time, so I just did the Valley Loop and worked my way to Mirror Lake instead.

I managed to meet up with Steve-O close to 5:30 and we just had some dinner and drinks and just caught up. It was great catching up and seeing him again. Around 7-ish Obama landed and we tried to make our way to him and back to my car, but the Park Rangers blocked us off. We took the long way around to get to my car and then that was it.

I drove out of the park and about the close to 2 hours back to my hotel, which was an Indian Casino. It wasn’t too bad, but the fucking cigarette smoke fucked me over.

Bright and early the next morning, it was on. I think I left the hotel close to 7. I didn’t even head into the Valley.

Tioga Pass or bust!

Yosemite High Country.

I never ventured there before. It was a great recommendation by Steve-O. I didn’t have much time to research it, so I just thought I’d wing it.

At first, I thought I’d find an early easy hike and I remembered Steve-O telling me that the hike to Yosemite Falls was an easy and short hike. So, that was on my agenda. I found the turnoff for Yosemite Creek. It was the wrong turn off.

I drove for about 30 minutes on an old busted narrow lane road that ended up at the campground. The hike to the falls from there was still a good 6+ miles. It was a bust. I slowly drove out and continued heading east on 120 Tioga Pass. No more than 10 minutes later I found the correct stop for the hike. That too was still a good 6+ mile to the Yosemite Falls viewpoint.

So, I just went on and on. I resigned myself to the fact that today would be more of a driving day than a hiking day and I was okay with that. I stopped at Olmstead Point and got a great view of the back of Half Dome. Not a bad view and then I saw off in the distance Tenaya Lake.

That was my next destination and that’s when things turn to shit.

* * *

Day 2.

Why? Because I was too focused on finding a braised pork shank recipe.

Distractions. Can’t focus.

Back and back.

Tenaya Lake.

Things were going great at Tenaya Lake. It was beautiful and the weather was just gorgeous. Not too hot. Not too cold. Perfect.

I decided to do the hike around the lake. It was a short easy 3 or so miles hike. Easy peasy. Great views and no hills to speak of. I took it easy, rested and enjoyed the views and got eaten by mosquitoes. I didn’t mind. I was in nature.

I didn’t even mind that I had to cross a river to get to the other side of the lake. I took off my shoes and plunged my legs into the cold water and wade my way across. Easy peasy. It was great. Brisk and fucking cold. Didn’t mind at all.

Until the end of the hike. I reached the end of the lake and was going back to the same path that I started so I can get to the parking lot. I sure could have followed Tioga Pass to get to my car, but I was like, nah, let’s follow the path. Follow the path.

Follow the path.

It’s the way.

I came across another creek I had to pass. But this time, it was only about 6 or so feet across. Short, right? But the bad thing was that I couldn’t see a way to cross. The only way that I saw was a small 4-inch-wide branch that didn’t seem sturdy, but that was the only way. I didn’t wander up or down the creek to see if there was another way. I was dead set on it. Follow the path. It’s the way.

Well, I say, fuck the path ’cause it fucked me over.

The first two steps were fine but then I lost my balance. I couldn’t get enough purchase on the branch to make a jump for it so I fell into the lake. I fell deep into Tenaya Lake. Not even the fucking lake, but a small creek that feeds into the lake.

So, my iPhone got wet along with my camera. There’s sand in my 28-70mm lens. It’s fucked. After a while the camera wouldn’t turn on at all. The lens wouldn’t focus because of the sand inside of the lens grinding.

I was fucked.

Sure I was pissed but then that went away. I was too cavalier. I was too impatient. I should have spent a little more time looking and when I got to the other side and walked up the creek a little I saw it. A wider plank and more shallow area. Fuck you Phong.

Just fuck you.

I got to the car and tried to dry off. Dried off my camera and my phone and took off my shoes and socks. Fuck you Phong.

The camera wouldn’t turn on but I still had to continue on. So I did.

I knew that there was some food around Tuolumne Meadows and that was the next destination. I drove by the meadows and went into the Visitor Center. Nothing there. I drove by the small grill and the tiny store and continued on. I turned off into the Lodge, but there wasn’t any food there. I made my way back to the grill and set my camera up on the dash board with the battery out so I can dry.

I had my burger and went back on my way. Camera still wouldn’t turn on. Fuck it.

Here’s where I’m thinking I’ll have to get another camera again. Money. More money, like I haven’t been spending a lot this year. But what to do? I love photography and it’s one of those things that I’ll want because I want it. Money. More money.

I got to my last destination as I passed up other great photography places because it wouldn’t turn on. I parked and tried my camera again. Nothing.

I let it sit in the car, drying while I did my hike up to Gaylor Peak and the Gaylor Lakes.

The hike wasn’t bad. Very steep and at high elevation. The air was a little thin but I managed.

There’s a hike down to the lakes at the bottom but there was snow up at the ridge and it covered the trail. Sure I could have made my way down, but after everything that happened, I wasn’t feeling up for it. Given the time, I thought I should just go back to the hotel instead and call it an early day. I knew I had a long day ahead.

So, I spent a little more time up at the top of the ridge taking pictures from my iPhone and then I made my way back down. I got into the car and tried my camera again. Still no go.

I drove back.

I hit the meadows again and wanted a proper picture of the meadow even if it is on my phone. I didn’t get one earlier and I decided to try my camera again and this time if fucking CAME BACK ALIVE!

Hallelujah! I was the happiest motherfucker alive at that moment. Didn’t have to spend any more money!

I snapped a few pictures and then I was off.

I got back to the hotel close to 5:30 and just chilled.

I got dinner at the Casino Buffet. Fucking disgusting and spendy. I should have heeded the yelp review.

* * *

Sunday was the big half day in Yosemite.

Obama was scheduled to leave that day and I don’t think he had any hikes or events planned, so the Valley shouldn’t be a clusterfuck.

I got up early and just drove and got to the trailhead close to 7:45.

The plan for the day was the High Sierra Loop via Four Mile Trail – Panoramic Trail – The Mist Trail. It was a hike of about 14 miles one way and then I have another 3 miles back to the car.

I started on up to Glacier Point via Four Mile Trail close to 8 in the morning. Going up wasn’t bad. Sure I had to stop a few times as my body started to loosen up and I got up to the top in about 2 hours.

Glacier Point was amazing. It was my first time up there. I’ve been to Yosemite so many times and I never stopped by. The good thing about Glacier Point is that you don’t really need to hike up there. There’s a parking lot up there which I always never take the road to. I made it a point to go visit it this time around. Definitely worth it.

After resting for about 15 minutes at Glacier Point, I headed onto the Panoramic Trail. There were spectacular views of Half Dome and Nevada and Vernal Falls. The Panoramic Trail is a rim trail that goes down and up along the rim of Yosemite Valley. It ends at the top of Nevada Falls. From there, one will have to take the Mist Trail down to Yosemite Valley.

There were spectacular views throughout the but most amazing was definitely the beginning of the hike with the view of Half Dome along with both falls. Breathtaking.

I rested for a good 10 minutes at the top of Nevada Falls before I started my way down. I know that Ms. D told me the last hour was stairs, but I really didn’t know what I was expecting.

The Mist Trail was fucking horrible. The stairs were fucking horrible. I almost turned my ankle and slipped and fell a few times. It also was very very crowded also. 2.5 miles of navigating rocky and sandy stairs and fucking people taking selfies. Sure, the views were spectacular, but man, I sure was bitching about it the whole time. My knees were fucking hating me that last hour.

But then 6.5 hours after I started, I finished the trail. It was just gorgeous. Majestic and then I have 3 more miles left to do to get back to my car. One more hour and that’s what I did.

Getting out of the park was a bitch, but it could have been worse. I was just happy to be sitting, out of my boots, and just chilling.

Overall Yosemite was just fucking awesome and I definitely need to make it a more regular trip. Next time I’ll definitely to plan more trips up in the high country. There’s just so much up there to explore and I definitely didn’t do much of that this trip. Next time.

Next time.

I managed to make it back to Fresno and met up with Sister and Gifu and the fam for dinner.

The next morning, I set off to Kings Canyon National Park after breakfast.

The drive there was great. Not too crowded and just a simple drive and when I got to Kings Canyon, my first destination was Hume Lake. By the time I got there, it was already fucking hot. I did a small hike. I did like a third of the lake and ended up at the Christian camp.

I snapped a few pictures and hiked it back to the car and that’s when I started the drive through the Canyon. I believe this was the drive that Ms. D was raving about and it was beautiful. The canyon and the views, just amazing.

I reached Cedar Grove and checked out the visitor center and called it a day. It was getting late and I still had to drive back home to pick up Pickles before the vet closes. I would have loved to explored more of the park and maybe do the hike that Ms. D recommended, but next time.

Like Yosemite, next time.

Definitely, next time.

Now it is onto the next thing. The next vacay. The next trip. The next hike.

Banff.

Tired.

I can’t even focus on anything. I can’t put coherent thoughts together. I don’t think I’ll even post this little entry at all.

My mind is going through this whole unfocused thing again; this whole little brain fog.

I stopped taking my iron supplements because I think it is causing some stomach issues that I was having. I still have some of those issues, but it’s not as bad as it was. All that bloating and gas. I’m over it.

But, with the lack of iron, I can’t focus. I can’t put thoughts together. My mind wanders and I can’t do anything.

It sucks. I hate this feeling. I’m always tired too.

I need to find an alternative. I need to find a solution.

* * *

Day 2.

I didn’t do much writing yesterday while I was out and about. As you can see from above, it wasn’t much as I was distracted and still tired from the little cold that I’m dealing with earlier in the week.

I feel better and a little rested today.

What took most of my focus yesterday was me playing doctor and self-diagnosing myself. I’m trying to find a solution or a cause to my little gut problem (bloaty and gassy) along with the brain fog I’m experiencing now that I stopped taking my iron supplements.

I may have found a solution to my gut problem, and that may be canola oil. I’m going to stop using that and switch back to olive oil and might start using peanut oil and see how things go.

I do have to say that my gut feels a lot better than it did weeks ago, but I don’t know what else have changed. I’m still using canola oil in the food I’m cooking, so I have no idea what changed. It’s very weird and very frustrating.

If I really do have IBS, I may have to really focus on what is making me ill and cut it out. I don’t like to cut out food. It’s going to blow.

* * *

My Yosemite trip is fast approaching. Friday.

Friday can’t come fast enough. Just four short days at work, doing whatever that needs to be done and then we are off and good to go to explore. I can’t wait.

I’m looking forward to the short break. I’m always looking forward to the short break.

Short breaks are awesome. I think this is the first time that I had so many short trips planned. I’ve been traveling at least once a month since April and it is great.

I love it. It definitely makes the year go by faster. A lot faster.

I think for the most part, I have my trip planned in terms of what I’m going to do and where I’m going to explore.

I’ll get up there about midafternoon on Friday and I’ll just take it easy and maybe meet up with Steve for drinks. Saturday will be the big day. The High Sierra Loop. It’s about a 14-mile hike and I’m estimating it’ll take me about 4-5 hours and that still leaves me quite a lot of time left to explore. Maybe I’ll head out to Tuolumne Meadow and Hwy 120 to explore what’s out there. If not, then that’ll be a Sunday thing and then it is off to Fresno to spend a night with Sister and Gifu and their family.

Then, bright and early Monday morning it is off to Kings Canyon National Park to do some exploring. Nature.

It really does seem that this year is definitely the Year of Being One with Nature. It definitely is relaxing.

Once I get back, then it is planning for Banff and what’s out there.

Lake Louise. Lake Morraine. What else?

As for the rest of my time in the PNW, I’ll do what I usually do, some hiking with Pickles. Some visiting family and some exploring and just winging it.

Maggie’s wedding is in September and I’m already planning on spending a day or two in Tahoe to explore. I just need to figure out what my brother’s plan is in terms of where we are staying and I’ll work around that. I still haven’t decided on how many days I want to take off to explore and what not for that trip.

October is up in the air. My bro wants to do Vegas. An eating trip. I wouldn’t mind doing Chicago again. Just too expensive. So, up in the air and not committing to anything yet.

A lot of trips this year. Small trips. All vacations. No work.

I don’t understand how some people never plan or take trips of any kind, big or small. It just baffles my mind.

Don’t they want a break from work?

* * *

I think I pissed the Blox off with something I said about her mom.

I’m always pissing her off and people off with the things I said.

Tactless.

Always.

* * *

Now it seems that my distractions are coming back as I’m trying to figure out my stomach issues again. It could be that I need to go on a FODMAP diet.

https://dietingwell.com/low-fodmap-diet-meal-plan-menu/

Who knows? I just need to experiment more and keep tabs as to how I’m feeling after eating. We shall see.

Blah, my mind had been totally hijacked by trying to figure this shit out.

I’m still going through my fucking brain fog. That’ll be next.

Back at it again. Procrastinating.

I’m so behind on my writing projects that one of these days I’ll just have to suck it up and write at night at the Starbucks or just get off my ass and focus on the writing. I need to write, the plan, and make a damn dent on the project. So behind. So so behind.

Today is not one of those days that I will focus on my writing. Today is a finger tapping day. Me and my empty void, clearing my mind and honestly, I don’t think I have anything to say.

* * *

Going gray. Not naturally, but on purpose.

It seems to be a craze right now; girls are dyeing their hair gray. I saw this a few years ago when one of the Wong Fu crew dyed his hair gray, but thought really nothing of it, but then I saw it coming back with a force, now with girls.

It really struck me when I first saw my doppelganger at work with it. pvo had done it a few times and now it seems that the Hurry Curry girl did it.

It really seems like it is an Asian girl thing. Or maybe it is an all-girl thing and it just so happens that the only people that I saw doing it are Asian. I think that is more likely.

It’s a weird trend. I probably will not understand it, but that’s me not being a part of the zeitgeist and just not being cool. It is what it is.

* * *

Baking.

That’s where my focus has been. Baking bread to be exact.

Instead of doing commercial yeast baking, my thing now is using my own cultured yeast – sourdough starter, in which I named Cleofis, to help the bread rise.

I’ve been baking a lot, experiment, trying to get a confident feel of how to make bread and it definitely have been error after error.

I’ve tried rustic loaves, to baguettes, to white sandwich breads.

They all come with certain amount of success and many disappointments.

It’s very nuanced and requires a lot of time and I’m a little too impatient about it. The thing is, I don’t like the sour taste, so I want a fast rapid rise, but sometimes my apartment isn’t warm enough, so it isn’t conducive to a good rise, so I just rush it and just say fuck it and bake and it just turns out not so well.

Another thing I’m trying to learn is how to gauge my dough. I don’t know when it is too wet, too dry, or just right.

I follow the recipe, but to no avail, all the time it just seems too wet for me.

A high hydration dough is very tough to work with and I’m afraid to add more flour to it, which can throw off the consistency of the bread. The more flour, the denser the bread is.

What I learned is that the higher the hydration, the bigger the air holes are in the bread. But with higher hydrated dough, the tougher it is to form and knead the dough.

It’s a fine nuanced balance and I guess it is one of those things that just requires patience and doing and experimenting to get a good hand at it.

I honestly don’t understand why I have this high fascination with baking now, or more specifically bread baking. It just seems very random and out of nowhere.

I know I like to cook from scratch, mainly for health reasons, knowing specifically what goes into my body, but why bread?

Before, I don’t eat much bread. It isn’t a part of my diet. I’ll get bread when I want bread or if it goes well with what I’m cooking. It had never been a staple in my apartment or my diet.

But I guess I just needed something else to focus on and I think I can do it. There’s such a high learning curve to it that I’m just fascinated by it. It’s hard and challenging, and I’m guessing that is why my sudden interest in it.

I had a few successes and now it is time to be more proficient at it.

I think more than anything, that’s the biggest thing that I want to accomplish this year. Be better at baking. Have a better understanding about the whole process of baking bread and what happens when I do things this way and that way. I want to know all.

It has gotten to a point where I stopped writing to do research on videos on how to bake bread. I want to learn.

Learning and improving is key.

It’s always the first weekend back from a trip that I don’t want to do anything at all. I don’t want to meet, see, or interact with people. It’s always always the weekend of me just unwinding and being on my own.

The funny thing is that the trip would always be a solo trip and I would have been alone to begin with. It’s just funny that I would want another weekend of being alone, more so than my regular weekends.

It usually ends up being a typical weekend of me not doing anything at all and cooking if I had the motivation. But it’s a little different because whereas my typical weekends are just how it ends up being, unplanned and open to anything that comes up, if they ever do, which is rarely. These after trip first weekends are planned unwind be on my own not doing anything weekends.

That’s just how I am. I prefer being alone. I prefer being on my own, so I can unwind and decompress from everything. This weekend in particular is a definite must, given how things kind of ended the last one.

* * *

The trip.

This past weekend was my very first time exploring the majestics that was Big Sur. I’ve always driven by this beautiful place on many of my road trips along the coast but I had never spent any real time there exploring and hiking like I normally do.

It’s such a beautiful place. The bluffs along the Pacific and the crashing waves and the vast endless blueness just boggles the mind. One of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen and I finally planned to explore it.

Overall, it was a great trip. I took the coast like any sane person would, or just a person who likes to take the scenic route. I didn’t have any time constraints or any place to be. I just strolled up on Hwy 1, which was quickly becoming an old acquaintance of mine. Maybe next time, if there is a next time, I’ll take Hwy 101 and just get there quicker.

For the longest time, up until I started to do research on the trip and planning on where to hike, I believed that Big Sur was just a big National Park called Pfeiffer Burns. I was wrong. Dead wrong.

Big Sur was that region of Northern California and is composed of many little State Parks like Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park, Limekiln State Park, Pfeiffer Burns State Park, and Andrew Molera State Park and many others.

I researched and researched and finally made up a list of hikes, attractions, and activities that I wanted to do. I created offline trail maps and Yelp searches for places to eat and visit. I was ready and I was off, excited to take an extended weekend away from the city, away from work, and to be alone and be one with nature.

It was definitely much needed, like an extension of my bday trip out to Sequoia National Park and being one with nature there. There’s something that is definitely calming about it.

Maybe being out in nature is one of the only times that I usually don’t have earbuds in my head, ignoring people. It’s just me, nature and the sounds of my surroundings; the wild calls of birds, the rustling of lizards, the soft whispers of the cool breeze, the calming of the crashing waves. Nature.

Now, I use to hike with my headphones on, but years ago I stopped wearing them because it was just unsafe. You need to hear the sounds around you, especially when you are out there in the woods, forests, nature, wherever you are alone, hiking, so you can hear animals. Basically I didn’t want a bear or cougar or mountain lion or rattle snake sneaking up to me and eating me or killing me. 127 put a lot of things into perspective.

That’s why I usually end up posting on Facebook what I plan on doing that day and where I’ll be, so just in case I don’t check in the next day or in the next couple of days, people have a rough general idea of where I am.

It’s considerate.

I wonder what other people think about that. I wonder if they just think that I post that to rub it in that I’m off gallivanting around having fun and rubbing it in other people’s faces. Who knows?

I got to Julia Pfeiffer around 2:30 in the afternoon and just made my way to McWay Falls. It’s a little cove just outside of the park entrance right next to the PCH. After that, that’s when I went to have fun and did a 5-mile hike. It was going great until I had to go uphill. I didn’t do any strenuous hiking in Sequoia, so this one kicked my ass. I was doing really well and then I got tired going uphill so I had to take a break. I’m going to blame that on me skipping lunch and not eating anything all day. I just didn’t have the calories to do it.

After the short rest and snacks, I was good to go. I trucked along the hike without any other issues. It was great. After Julia Pfeiffer, I did Partington Cove. It was a weird little turn off on the PCH and quite an easy little hike down.

By this time, it was close to 6pm and I still had about an hour’s drive to the hotel. For dinner I went to Cannery Row and just walked around and found a place.

One thing I noticed about Monterrey (where I stayed for the weekend) was that it was quiet. Like really quiet. Like I kept wondering, it’s Friday night, where is everyone? It was that quiet.

After dinner, I walked around some more to explore the area and then I was back to the hotel and was pretty much asleep before 11. It was a big day the next day. Lots of hiking. Lots.

Bright an early, I found a hipster coffee shop called ACME which was actually pretty damn good. Pick what you want with what kind of beans and they grind it fresh and voila, coffee. Yummy coffee.

Then started my next day, which was a very very long day, with a lot of hiking planned. It started at Andrew Molera State Park. I had the whole 8.1-mile loop planned. It took about a mile to get to the trail head and I was off. I decided to hike the ridge first and end up finishing along the Bluffs, which was opposite of what other people did. I was alone for a good part of the hike, well past the halfway mark where I was coming down from the ridge and onto the bluffs. There, as the day got closer to late morning was when I came across the many other hikers. Actually, I saw a family start from the bluffs as I was ascending the ridge. We started about the same time and they were a wee bit slower than I was.

But in the end, it was great. It was a great workout with great views and I ended up sitting at the beach for a good part of an hour. Then it was just a little over a mile stroll back to the parking lot.

Oh, the thing about this trail to the beach was that you had to cross a little stream/river before you can really start the hike. I didn’t want to go through the trouble of taking off and putting back on my socks and boots, so I just went ahead with boots on. So, I had to hike with wet socks for a good half of the trip. Eventually they dried out, but at the halfway point, when I took a rest, I wrung out them socks.

Then I went to lunch at Nepthane, which was crowded. After that, it was then off to Pfeiffer Burns Big Sur State Park. It was about 2:30 at this time and I did about two hikes here. By the time I was done, it was close to 6 and about 20+miles. I had to stop at the Big Sur Lodge for some ice cream.

Man, I was so tired. So fucking tired that day, but I felt that I could still go a few more miles.

I drove back to the hotel, took a shower and then went to the supposedly cool part of town, Alvarado St. to figure out what to have for dinner. After walking around, I couldn’t decide on anything and it was getting late as I was walking through the Fisherman’s Wharf. I just ended up picking the restaurant at the very end of the Wharf. It wasn’t great, but I was too tired to complain.

The next day was the biggest surprise. Bright and early I drove to Point Lobos State Reserve. This. THIS. It was just mind boggling beautiful. One of the most beautiful places I’ve been and it was quickly becoming one of my favorite places. The hike was more of a nature stroll than anything else. I did the full loop, hiking through the whole park, taking pictures and just taking everything in. I was surprised when I saw that I did about 10 miles here.

Next, on the agenda for the rest of the day was lunch in Carmel and then end it with Lone Cypress and 17-mile drive.

I got lunch at Carmel and got a seafood pasta. It was so fucking good and then I made the biggest mistake. Wine Tasting.

I saw that there was wine tasting in Carmel and that’s what I did. I ended up in Galvante for the first one and it was great. Great wine and had a great chat with a couple that I met there. They go wine tasting there quite often and Galvante was their favorite.

So, it was only downhill from there and it was definitely just fucking downhill from there. I went to about 5 other wineries and did tastings and for some reason, I came home with 6 bottles of wine.

And of course I drove back to the hotel. I need to be a grown up about this and have more common sense, but yeah, it was fucking stupid. I’m surprised I’m not dead yet. But, on the way back from Carmel, I threw up in the car and I’m still suffering from it. The smell. Oh fucking holy hell, the smell.

But, I got back to the hotel, cleaned up, napped for like 3 hours and then went to a bad Chinese restaurant and just fucking tried to eat and sober up. I cleaned up the car as best as I could and continued to clean it the next morning before I checked out. I made a mess of the bathroom and left a big tip.

Yeah, it was a shit show. I fucked up and I’m eating my mistake. I have to. It was all me and I’m not blaming anyone else. It was just me.

Monday, I got me some ACME coffee again and just started the drive back with the nasty disgusting smell. Overall, the drive home was uneventful and wasn’t bad. I missed the turn off the 101 to the 1 near Malibu, so I ended up taking the 101/405 back home. By that time, I didn’t care anymore.

I just wanted to get home and clean up the car.

Overall, the trip was great, except for that last afternoon. I definitely want to do it again. To explore more of Big Sur.

To my next trip.

13 years.

Well, almost 13 years. It’ll just be a few more days until the anniversary, but in a blink of an eye and poof, it is that time of the year again.

With each year, it gets easier and with the breakthrough that I had a couple of years ago, it is much easier.

I almost forgot about the day, until I thought about the planned vacation coming up and realize that I was getting out of time close to the day.

Sure, I’ll be at work on the day that my father passed away 13 years ago, but in a way, it would be a weekend where I get to spend by myself out in nature and just be.

I still remember when there were years when I know that the day was coming, or the month of May would be here and I would just get in a funky mood for the whole month. Again, things had gotten a lot easier as the years gone by, but it is still hard.

I still have father issues. Watching shows or movies or any media that shows strained relationships between a father and a son or even their kids still gets to me. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that, but that’s just me.

But it is true that it gets easier with more time. It gets easier the further you get away from it. It just gets easier and thankfully that’s where I am now at.

* * *

Distracted.

Not sure what I want to go in terms of my writing. I’m so behind on this writing project, but yet, here I am rambling and even the rambling isn’t going to go anywhere.

Not sure what is going on with me. Lack of iron? Or am I just bored and my ADHD is kicking in? I need to focus, but I don’t feel the cloudy hazy brain fog that I use to feel. So this is just a little bit different. Just a smidge.

I’m not sure what is going on, but it is something.

It isn’t my MLC. That’s over….for now. It’s definitely not that feeling. Definitely not at all.

Maybe it’ll go away.

At least I’m not having any stomach issues today. Not very bloaty or gassy. So, positive side?

Who knows?

I just need to get past the next four days of work and then I’m free for the road trip. Can’t wait.

Then it is planning the next two months of road trips and then maybe vacations for the rest of the year. I know that I have a few days saved up with no real big trips shaping up for next year, might as well try and enjoy it.

Chicago again? Maybe. Just maybe or maybe Napa again? Who knows. There are a lot of things up in the air and I’m not going to think that far ahead. I’ll just go with the flow and flow with the dough.

* * *

Blah! Today is over. Too many distractions in the mind. Bladder is being ridiculous and feeling the urge to eat and buy me some spendy banh mi and I need to go to uncle’s today.

Blah.

The translation of the above from Google Translate is: contentment, may be able to self-security.

The translation of each couplet from 14th uncle is:

知足常乐: You are content with what you have, you don’t need any more or want anymore. You are not greedy.

能忍自安: You are able to bare and endure humiliation and abuse. You don’t care what other people say about you or what other people think about you.

The whole meaning of the two couplets as translated by Rei from Volcano is: as long as you are happy, everything will be okay.

Why is this important and why am I writing about it today? It’s because I’ve been living with this quote/idiom for about 10 years and I never knew what it said or what it meant.

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I bought the above painting from Chinatown about 10 years ago. It was during a time in my life when I was a little lost in my quarter life crisis and I was very impatient to get out of it and to find some direction. I was wandering aimlessly in this muddled fog not knowing where my life was going to go and I wasn’t too happy about it. Depressed would be a great word to describe it or the Darkness.

Wandering Chinatown one weekend, I went into a gift shop in the Old Chinatown Plaza and I found this scroll painting and thought that I needed a daily reminder that I just need to be patient with my life. Things will come from being patient. So, I bought it and hung it up, only knowing that the big character is patience and nothing more about the couplets beneath it. I always wondered what it was, but I never figured it out and soon it just became one of those mysteries that I would have to live with and be okay with.

It wasn’t until yesterday that the mystery was solved. I had to pick mom and 14th uncle, auntie, and big auntie up from San Pedro from their Mexican cruise. While sitting in the apartment, waiting for everyone to do their business before we head out to do some shopping, they asked if I knew what the characters mean and say. I told them I only know patience.

Then they explained it to me, couplet by couplet and then it blew my mind.

See, for the longest time, and as evidenced in this little void of mine, I have been living my life the way I want it and now how other people think I should live my life. I wanted to reach a level of zen and a happiness that I am totally okay with.

When they broke down each couplet, it just struck so close to home how these sayings describe me so much. I have been living my life according to these couplets and I never knew it. This painting predicted my future of how I will be without me even knowing.

I am very happy with my life. I’m very content with it. I am secure and very happy with what I have in my life. I don’t need an abundance of riches or the latest and greatest things. I have what I need, they work, and it’s the best. I’m happy. I am so sincerely happy in my life and those who know me well, can see that.

Also, when it comes to people and how they think about me, for the most part, I don’t give a flying fuck. Sure, it’s not perfect and there are times when I do feel self-conscious of what some people think, but I think I have gotten better in that part of myself. For the most part, I don’t give a fuck. I do what I want and if people don’t like it and talk shit about it, not my problem. I know for damn sure that those who know me well knows that about me.

It’s just funny and just so fitting that these couplets pretty much define me without me knowing. Or that all I wanted was to remind myself that I need to be patient with life, but it gave me a way to find some happiness and to be the person that I am now without me knowing it. It’s funny how that worked out.

It just makes me a little happier to know that.

* * *

My special weekend.

I like how a lot of people don’t know that when I say my special weekend I meant my birthday.

It was my bday last Sunday and I was out of town. I went to Sequoia National Park for the weekend just to get away from the city and to get away from people. It has somewhat become a tradition of mine that I spend my birthdays by myself. I’ve been doing it for a few years now. Grant it that some years, Scott would hang out and we’ll go watch a movie and keep it simple, but most of the time, I’m alone.

I just don’t want to deal with people. I don’t want to make a celebration of it. Ever.

It happened a few times and I wasn’t a fan of it. Definitely not a fan of it. So, I just tend to disappear and it works for me. I love it.

But, I went on this little road trip by myself to explore and to be one with nature.

For the most part, I loved it. It was just what I needed. But the weather could have been better, but overall, it worked. It added a little more drama to my pictures, even though I didn’t get to see the majestic scenery and views that I know that the park provided, but it just reaffirms the desire for me to go back one day when the weather is better.

I did a few small hikes on Friday, the day that I drove up. By the afternoon, the rain was coming down, so I opted to cut out a little early so I can get to the hotel and check into my cabin. The next day, was my only full day at the Park.

I did a few hikes and then drove to Kings Canyon National Park, so I can at least say I gone there and just to scope out the park and see what I can get into next time. This trip was more a scouting mission than anything else, and I’m okay with that.

On my actual special day, I decided to just stay in the cabin to do some writing. I thought it would be somewhat a good idea, a writer’s retreat in a way, but it kind of didn’t work out the way that I wanted to. I didn’t get that much writing done.

Sure I got my yearly diatribe out of the way, but I only finished one story. Just one, when I so wanted to get more done. I’m so behind on this writing project, it’s not funny anymore. I guess in a way, I am still in this little writer’s block of mine, or I’m just not as motivated as I use to be. I think I just don’t have a clear idea of what to write and that makes things a little more difficult.

With these blogs, for the most part, as long as I have a focused mind and I know what I want to say, it really isn’t a problem. But when I don’t have focus, things tend to not go well. The same thing applies to prose and my creative writing. Never a good thing and I know that I need to get on it.

I need to figure out a good system to help with that. Hopefully I’ll figure it out and just do it. I think I just have too many distractions. Distractions are never a good thing.

But overall, it was a great trip. I think at this point in my life, any trip where I can go and getaway to nature by myself is a great trip.

One thing that came out of this little trip of mine is that for some pictures, I am processing them out a little differently than I normally would. I’m adding and playing a lot more with saturation and vibrancy and luminance to make the colors pop more. I tend to shy away with that, but for some reason, some of the pictures that I took just looks better with it.

Maybe I never taken pictures in that nature with that type of light before and never in a time when there are so many different colors for me to play with. But, I love it. I love quite a few of the pictures that I took.

So, great weekend and I’m looking forward to more.

* * *

It’s been a while since I actually took a little break for my birthday. Since my little trip back in 2010 to Chicago, I decided to do a little trip for myself around my birthday. Now as the years gone by and my ambitions got the best of me in terms of traveling, sometimes, it never lines up with my trips actually being on or around my birthday.

Last year, the trip was in February to Iceland. Finally, I got things back this year, doing a little nature excursion to Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Park in central California.

After two days roaming around in nature in the misty haze of high clouds and rainy drizzle, I am taking a relaxed low key slow-paced day on my actual birthday. From Antoinette’s and probably back in my little cabin, I’ll write my yearly diatribe of another year older, another year wiser.

37. 37. 37. 37.

I am 37.

36 is over.

36 rolled off of me quiet in the night and now I’m 37.

What can I say about my past year?

36 was a great year. It was an excellent year. It was one of the best years in the past couple of years. Why?

I think it has to do with me getting the weight of my father’s death off of my chest and the new me that came from that. It was a brand new me, back to basics.

It’s been over a year that I had this feeling that I had gone back to Phong basics, similar to the first years that I came down to California. I would just do me, be me, and live my alone, but not so lonely, independent life.

All I would do was go watch movies almost on a weekly basis, go to work, and just chill and fill my time with whatever suits my fancy. Life at its simplest. What makes these past two years different from the first few when I first came down to LA? Being comfortable with who I am and being comfortable in my own skin.

It’s that simple.

Why make it any more difficult than you have to?

Life has been good as of late, and a lot of it came from being 36. This past year has been a reaffirming year that I should just do me and be me and damn the consequences.

I know that it rubs a few people the wrong way, many of them are my family who are pressuring me to settle down, meet someone, and get married, but I don’t know, being alone and single is what suits me best now.

Control. My life is in control, in my hands. I control the things that I have control over and I try my best to let other things just fall by the wayside. I’m getting better at that.

36 has taught me to appreciate the smaller things, the little things. The little vacations, or the little pictures or videos that just makes me smile. The little good deeds that you see that just pulls at your heartstrings. There is still some good in the world. The little things.

I wake up and am alive. I am still able to walk and to travel. Pickles is still healthy in his old age and my two furkids both get along with each other. The little things.

* * *

This one has gotten away from me already. Maybe a little change in scenery will help?

* * *

Back at the cabin/hotel after taking a small break and a stroll around the campus, along the river just to get my mind running listening to some little This American Life. Now, I’m back at it.

37.

I am 37 now and looking back it had been a blur.

36 had gone by so quick, that I didn’t even realize that it was over so soon. Looking back, memories just blend into one as they often do as one gets older and when one gets better.

36.

It was a great year. It was a year of me and definitely it was a year of Phong.

Back to basics would be a great way to describe my year. It was definitely a year of riding solo and the #yearofPhong. There’s no shame in that. There’s no shame in celebrating and enjoying one’s independence. It’s your life, live it how you want to live it.

With this ease and with this control in my life, that surprised confidence that sprung up on me quite a few years back is growing and that nagging sense of optimism that came out of nowhere is still riding strong with me.

I think the one thing that I had embraced, at least for the past couple of years and that helped me tremendously is to just take it one day at a time. Life, shouldn’t be rushed. Stop thinking so far ahead in the future. Stop thinking how my life would be a year from now, five years from now, 10, 20. Just stop and think of it one day at a time.

There’s no need to rush it. We all die, and it is best that we die without regrets. I believe that if we live our lives the way we want to live it, by our own rules and our choices, then one should be happy with the life they are living. There would be no regrets if I die tomorrow. I set out what I want to do.

36.

Control.

If I had to pick a thing that I learned about myself in 36, it is control. Sure, the knowledge how much of a control freak I am had been stinging in the back of my mind for a few years now, but it was reaffirmed during my therapy a year back. I think I took it heart and finally embraced it. It’s the thing that I learned most about myself this past year.

Control.

Being in control is a tough balancing act, controlling your life, making your decisions that best suits you, selfish choices, though good for you, have its consequences. You just have to be okay with whatever those consequences are and you have to be responsible with your choices.

36.

Being alone. Being independent. Being me.

36 was definitely a year of me. It was the year that I started to embrace the new me, the one that embraces my independence and my singleness. Most of my choices that I made were strictly about me and my happiness.

Being alone. Traveling. My projects. All about me.

Will 37 be a continuation of that or will I allow for the possibility that there is more to me than me, like a we? Will I finally choose to be okay being with someone? Would 37 be the year of being open to the idea of being in a relationship?

Maybe 36 and the year of independence need to happen so I can finally propel myself to being able to let that go and start sharing some of my experiences with someone? I don’t know, but it’s a possibility.

36.

Confidence.

With each passing year, as I get more comfortable with who I am, I do see how I’m more secure and more confident. There’s still a lot of room for improvement in that side, but there is growth. There is definitely an up trajectory, but is it enough for me to do things that are out of my comfort zone?

I don’t know yet. I still find it funny that when it comes to decisions that affect me and only me no matter how horrible or unsafe they maybe, I’m confident and often times optimistic that things will work out well.

But when it comes to things and decisions that affect or involve other people, not so much. I don’t know why, but maybe it has to do with not wanting to hurt or disappointing the other party involved. Maybe that’s why I only try to do things on my own and not involve other people. I don’t know how to reconcile something like that.

Maybe this year will change that as I try to get more people involved in my life, get more involved in other people’s life and maybe hopefully just go out more.

It is going to start with the whole Year of Yes thing. Saying yes to more things, like happy hours and what not, but it is a start. I hope.

Maybe I’ll start asking people out to do things. I know it is just as simple as asking, but there are times when I just don’t know how to do it. Maybe 37 will be the year that I learn how.

There’s still a lot more learning and growing that I need to do and hopefully 37 doesn’t disappoint me in that area.

* * *

It seems this one had really gotten away from me. I’m not at my usual writing this and maybe that’s a little distracting, who knows. Maybe I’ll come back to this in the next few weeks, an addendum to my another year older, another year wiser. Who knows?

But I think I’ll end this one here.

I’m going to bid a great adieu to 36 and with open arms welcome my new number, 37.

I’m 37. Bring it on.

Tired.

Really tired. I had a very long long weekend before and daylight savings time happened. We all lost an hour. Fuck. Let’s just say that this week sucked.

It wasn’t like I was busy at work. I did what I had to do, but I didn’t go back to my SharePoint project. I put that aside as I let it gestate in the back of my mind some more to try and figure out how I am going to build that damn thing. The current version works. It works well albeit that it is not very cohesive. Flat form. Database somewhere else. Too many mistakes. I want something done one fell swoop. Easy peasy. Let’s hope I figure it out.

But no, I decided not to do much this week because of the stupid time change. That one fucking hour. It’s dark when I get up and I rise with the sun. I still get up around 6 in the morning, but man, it’s tough.

* * *

Tired.

This week had been tiring and it just wasn’t the time change either. The wedding. Not my wedding, thankfully, but a wedding none the less.

A few weeks ago Mom called me up and asked if I wanted to go to Kathy’s wedding in Sacramento. I asked who’s wedding it was and she told me it was Kathy. I don’t remember Kathy. Her Chinese name didn’t ring a bell, but my mom assured me that I know her and talked to her. I know her mom and have a vague recollection of that whole time we visited them a few years back, but yeah, the bride, no recollection.

It wasn’t until I talked with Cloud that I figured out who it was; the girl that participated in my photography project. So, done and done. I agreed. I was going because it is family and that my mom asked and that I get to hang out with my mom, Cloud, and Aunts. Family. They mean a lot to me.

The night before I was to drive up to Sacramento, the bride called me up and asked if I could be their wedding photographer. Very last minute and I was totally surprise that she would ask, out of the blue. Very surprised, but I agreed. #yearofyes.

Year of yes indeed.

So, the plan was that mom, aunts, and Cloud would catch an early flight and get into Sacramento at about 10:30AM or so. I would get in town around 1-2PM, so things would be good. Things would be awesome. When I get there, I would know some people and have my mom to hang out with, but…no. Not the case. When Sinh bought the tickets, he booked it where they come in at 10:30 at night, instead of the morning. So, when I got there, I didn’t really know anyone and just chilled.

Thankfully, First Auntie and Uncle from Philly came shortly after I arrived, so it wasn’t that awkward.

But yeah, it was an interesting Friday. I chilled, had dinner, and then went back to the hotel until they landed and then drove to my aunt’s to meet up with my mom.

For the most part, the wedding went off without a hitch. It was exactly how one would expect a Chinese wedding to go down. Tea ceremony in the morning and the banquet at night. There was some miscommunication with me shooting the wedding party pictures after the tea ceremony, but all in all, done and done.

I took a shit ton of pictures at the wedding. Party after party lining up to have their photos taken with the newlyweds. I would say that I was the second shooter, but it felt more like I was the first shooter. The other shooter seemed like the groom’s uncle or something. An older gentleman with an entry level camera and a kit lens.

So, in the morning, I dropped mom off at aunts and then I just drove straight home. I came back and napped. I needed sleep since I didn’t sleep too well at the hotel. Sleep. I miss sleep. I need sleep.

Sleep is my friend. I miss my friend.

* * *

I took about 2400+ pictures of the whole wedding. Many of them were duplicates. I took on average about 4-6 shots for each picture/pose because I just used my high shutter speed. I wanted to get the most pictures with the least amount of time to get good coverage, just in case someone blinks or it was out of focus or any other thing that could possibly go wrong.

It took me until close to midnight Wednesday night (early Thursday morning) to finish curating and processing out the pictures. I uploaded the pictures and sent them off. Done and done.

So, I really didn’t get to relax until Thursday. With the many late nights, my whole circadian rhythm was out of sync and in a way it is still is. But, I’m glad that that is now over and I can go back to my regularly scheduled program of just being a couch potato. Going to bed at my designated bedtime and just chill and relax.

* * *

Which now brings me to Daredevil, Season 2. Netflix just dropped it yesterday and this weekend is just me binging the show and cooking. I need to relax. I might get some wine with dinner. I just want to not do anything, even though I have laundry to fold and clothes to iron. But all in all, not much planned this weekend and I am so happy because of it.

* * *

Cooking project.

I took a hiatus on it for the past couple of weeks after my flurry of desserts. I needed a break, plus I needed to detox from sugar. I got one more dessert to make and I’m going to just put that aside for now and focus on better things, apps and entrees/sides.

The next thing I’ll make is a Turkish Pide. The closest thing that can be used to describe it is a Turkish pizza or flatbread with a lot of toppings. The plan is to make it tomorrow, so I need to research how to do it. Plus, I need more yeast.

Which brings me to the Netflix show Cooked. It’s a great documentary by Michael Pollan, the man who wrote The Omnivore’s Dilemma. It is a documentary that looks at food, but not in your typical shows like Bourdain or Zimmern, but more from an anthropological, sociological, and scientific side of cooking. It was very very interesting and it just solidifies my ideas and ambitions of just wanting to cook everything from scratch. No chemicals, just whole ingredients to make food.

One line that struck out to me in the documentary was, “You can eat anything you want and as much of it as you want. You just have to cook it.” It is true. If you cook your food from scratch, you know exactly what goes into your body. You have that control. There are very little to no chemicals. Much healthier living, even though I do cheat and eat out or eat some processed food once in a while, but yes, it is healthier.

I’ve had that idea and philosophy for a few years now and it seems that my mom has the same idea. She, like me, wants to make everything from scratch too, just so she knows exactly what she’s eating.

I’m sure I have a lot more fun than her in terms of cooking and experimenting, but it’s all the same.

I would like to think that I’m healthy for living this type of lifestyle. I think I am, compared to most people, but yet, there are a lot of things that I love to eat that isn’t that great for me, particularly my heart. My cholesterol is a little high and the doctor recommends that I cut out red meat and other foods that can increase that. I haven’t. I’ve been eating and cooking the same food that I had always been, but I do understand and see that I need to slightly change my diet and include more vegetables. I need to reduce my intake of red meat, meat, in general.

Slowly, I’m changing that. I’m tweaking my diet left and right and soon, maybe it’ll be better. Maybe. We shall see.

* * *

After watching the Cooked documentary I had the idea of starting my own yeast culture and start baking my own bread. Again, everything from scratch. My boss watched the documentary also and loved it and had the same idea.

I just started my sourdough starter yesterday and hopefully I can make it work.

I love bread. I love a nice crusty and soft airy bread. Sometimes a good crusty and a little dense wheat bread is great. Give me some good butter. Even better. Add in some liver pate, just pure awesomeness.

I made a loaf of no knead bread this morning. I haven’t had it yet, but hopefully it is good. The yeast I used wasn’t the best, but hopefully, my next batch would be better.

Gluten sensitivity.

I’m not gluten sensitive. I don’t have celiac disease. But there are times when I eat bread, it just makes me bloat and gassy.

Now, the idea is that gluten is the issue. Gluten is fucking with our stomachs and it is evil. It the reason why we are having so many digestive issues.

But, I don’t think that is the case. From the documentary, and this make sense, is that the bread we are eating, isn’t bread. Bread is made up of four ingredients: flour, salt, yeast, and water.

People have been eating bread for millenniums and never had any problems. It wasn’t until industrialization started and we started to mass produce bread at the biggest margins that these sensitivities came to be. As bread companies make bread, using cheapest ingredients and chemicals, to make bread; bread is no longer bread.

It is mostly chemicals and maybe, just maybe, these sensitivities are from these chemicals and not gluten.

I’ve had straight-up gluten in stir-fry dishes before and that shit was good.

There are quite a few people who said that when they start to make their own bread from scratch, that they never had any problems that they normally would when they eat gluten. When my boss started to make his no knead bread, he never had any issues.

Maybe it is the chemicals that we are ingesting.

Moral of the story, the moral of this rant, scratch food is great food. Know exactly what’s going into your body.

* * *

Cook more.

That’s what I’ve been focusing on the past couple of years. I’m trying to learn new tricks and learn new recipes and trying to push myself to cook things that I have never cooked before. I’ve learned so much along the way. I’ve built up my repertoire of quick go to dishes.

I love it.

I love food.

* * *

My special day is coming up. It’s just a few days away and then I’ll be another year older, another year wiser. I already decided that I’ll continue my tradition of going on a trip around my birthday. I’ve been on a hiatus with this for the past couple of years because of the bigger trips I planned that took place in lieu of it, but this year, it’ll be back.

I have decided to finally go to Sequoia National Park and Kings Canyon to go hiking. I hope the weather will be good, el Niño and all. Hopefully.

The next weekend, mom, aunts, and uncle will be back from their Mexican cruise and I’ll be hanging out with them and be their chauffeur for the day. I don’t mind. It’s always good to see family again.

But, yes, I think in the next coming weeks, I’ll have to think about my yearly entry and figure out what to write. It’ll come a few weeks late, but there will be one.

I have to find time and fit it in with my short story writing project for this year. I’m so behind on it. I need to get on it.

Today is Chinese New Year’s Eve.

I missed out on the festivities last year as I was stuck in SeaTac airport waiting for my flight back to Los Angeles. I didn’t is because I just came back from Iceland and it was well worth it.

This year, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be going to Great Uncle’s to carry on the tradition of spending it with him and his family. I’ve been doing it for since forever, ever since I had moved down to Los Angeles. I always had a great time doing it and eating and just getting together. It’s nice.

That will be the trek later this afternoon.

I had been lazy the last couple of years in terms of visiting them. For some reason, I just dropped off the map of visiting them and I know it is my fault. There was something that Uncle said years and years ago that rubbed me the wrong way and I had been not going to visit as often because of it. I forget what it is, but I know that it more or less had to do with me dropping off Pickles for them to dog sit while I was away on vacation or work.

So, I didn’t want to bother them anymore. I didn’t want to inconvenience them with it anymore, and I don’t go around there much anymore. It is what it is and maybe I can start going back and doing regular visits again. Maybe.

I do love my lazy Sundays and my do nothing weekends.

* * *

I’m stuck on a short story. I have decided to rewrite and do another draft and maybe go in in another direction for the short story Skinny Love. The main story is there. It is about the dissolution of a relationship that really didn’t work out. Before I was telling it in separate perspectives, but now I wanted to tell it in a different perspective and I’m just having a little trouble starting it.

I’m taking a break from it these short story writing to blog today. I know it’ll push me even further behind on these short stories, but I think I’ll manage and survive. The prompts would just grow and grow and I’ll get to them when I get to them.

I usually take my time to develop the story than Blocks anyway. I would usually be behind.

But today, i think I’m just going to blog and get my fingers tapping and maybe brainstorm and free write and hopefully it’ll give me an idea of what I want to write or how I should structure my story. I just need that little muse. I just need that little oomph so I have a little direction as to how to take the story.

Writing is hard.

* * *

It’s crowded today at Volcano. It’s all new people or people that I’m not familiar with here. Not my regulars and there’s a backup on drinks. It doesn’t seem like they know what they are doing. All drinks are backed up because the boba isn’t ready yet. So slow.

Bring back my regulars. They fucked up my order. Blah and I don’t want to change it because it is so slow. They put sugar in my drink and I asked for no sugar.

Hahhaa, they are weak.

* * *

Can I write at work? I don’t know if I can. I’m always distracted. I’ve done it a few times because I had to, but I don’t think they were any good. I got some things out but they were eh.

We shall see.

Blah, just going to reread some old stories, to get my juices going.

Probably will go back to my original draft of Skinny Love. Who knows.