I’m a lovefool.

Love me. Love me.

Chicago. My Beloved.

I did something that I never did before at work, which was to go to Chicago to do my day to day in the office because I wanted to visit Chicago.

That’s what I did. I wanted to go back so much, that I couldn’t wait for the next trip and decided to just go. Of course, I got my boss’s permission to work in the office and I did it.

One of the reasons was that I didn’t want to take any more vacation days. I have about 8 days remaining and I wanted to save them for the possible European vacation next year.

So, I took a personal day on Wednesday and flew out and worked in the office through Monday. It was spectacular.

I had a great time in Chicago like every other time that I had in Chicago. Surprisingly it was just my second “vacation” trip but probably my 7th or 8th trip there.

I love that city.

I didn’t do much, but just ate, explored, and worked. I walked around the city exploring parts that I had never been. I checked out the popular hipster Wicker Park and wasn’t too impressed with it.

Walking down their main street, Milwaukee, I was just taken back by the gaudiness of it. I think it was just trying too hard to be cool. Sure, there were many restaurants there that I wouldn’t mind trying, but I don’t know, wasn’t too impressed with it. Maybe if I spent more time there and maybe have something to eat, my opinion might change.

Then I checked out Logan Square, which was a few stops away. It was quieter and more run down with the hint of gentrification that was starting to happen. The hipsters are moving in. I liked Logan Square because it wasn’t trying to be anything but just what it is. No polish.

Maybe Selena was right and that I should have made my way to Ukrainian Village. I might like that better. I know that I was quite intrigued by that area during our Uber ride to Beoufhaus last year with my bro for dinner. I was a quaint unassuming area to me and I loved that.

Next time I know I’ll be exploring some more of the city, like Lincoln Square and others I’m sure.

* * *

Besides exploring parts of the city that I haven’t been, I also wander my old stomping grounds. I went to the Field Museum and explored their new exhibits. They had a Terra Cota Warriors of China and Ancient China exhibit about the first Emperor of China and a fascinating exhibit about Tattoos.

They were both great, but I found the Tattoo exhibit so fascinating.

I’m not a tattoo guy. I don’t like it on me, but I can appreciate it on art if I see a great one. To many today, tattoos are an expression of oneself, a way for them to be individual and to stand out. But it was fascinating to see how tattoos were used in the past, as a cultural and tribal identity, to brand criminals or prostitutes, gang affiliation, or even a sign of being a warrior.

I love the anthropological significance of tattoos. Very fascinating.

After the museum, I had to get my Chicago dog and I just relaxed and walked. I walked through Lakefront trail, through the parks, back to Cloudgate/the Bean and then made my way to the updated Navy Pier.

It’s a tourist trap, I know, but it’s a place for me to walk and get a great view of the city. It was then that I decided to do the Architecture Boat Tour again. It was my third time and it had been six years since I’ve done it. I did it the last time I was there on vacation, like the last time I went to the Field Museum back in 2010.

I was being a typical tourist, since I was there on vacation.

It was a great day. It was a beautiful day.

* * *

Food.

One of the many reasons I love Chicago is the food and one of the many reasons why I love traveling is food. This trip was no different. I made a conscious effort to not go to any restaurant that I had already been.

Every meal would be from a different restaurant.

Brindille was my first meal in Chicago, a little French small plates restaurant that is so popular with the hipster crowd. It was great. The other standout from the trip was GT Prime, a different type of steakhouse. I loved their Shishito Peppers and Corn in a Parmesan sauce so much that I’m attempting to make it tonight. It was also my first experience with venison and it was great. Unfortunately, Trina, who went the week before, wasn’t too impressed with it. Maybe if I tried other dishes, I might come to the same conclusion, but it was good.

I also got a gourmet risotto in porcini and truffles at Mama’s Boy. That was a chef special and thinking about my risotto, I can see where I go wrong at times. It’s not wet enough. I need to make it a little wetter and it’ll be there. Practice practice practice.

The most surprising place that I went to was a simple fried chicken sandwich joint, Leghorn Cafe. It is literally just outside of my hotel and boy did it fucking blew my mind. I went there twice, because it was that good. E told me about it, so I got it coming back from the office on Thursday night and was just wowed. I got it Sunday morning and now I want to make my own.

Come to think of it, this trip was a great inspiration for my cooking. So many dishes that I want to try and remake.

* * *

I stopped watching and following sports for years now, ever since I moved down from Washington.

Now, I’ll keep tabs on the Seahawks and see how they are doing, but I don’t follow religiously. I don’t even know if the Mariners are good or not. But growing up in the PNW, I’m a PNW sports fan. But, while I was in Chicago, I was so excited for the Cubs.

They were playing the Los Angeles Dodgers in the NLCS and I went out to watch all the games at the bar. The first night it was them tying the series 2-2 in Chicago, the second night I was out with Tia at Bar Louie in South Loop and watched them take the lead. Then on Game 6, I was at my favorite dive Snickers again to watch them make history and get back into the world series since ’40s.

It was magical and to be in the city while that happened was awesome.

* * *

A great great trip and I hope there would be more to come, assuming I don’t move there first.

Wow.

So tired.

This week.

This fucking week.

I don’t even remember what it was that made it so long, but it was just super busy and long.

The first thing that made it longer is that I’d gone into the office around 7:10-7:15ish. I’d caught the earlier train and it is all because of Relish.

Thankfully she’s doing fine after coming home from the emergency vet. But every morning I had to get up a little earlier to get Relish her medication. It wasn’t like it takes forever to do it or that it takes all the extra time that I woke up early for, but by 5:30 or so I am up and ready to start the day.

Monday was just a really off day. It was a hangover of sorts from the fucked up weekend with Relish and I was PMSing. Tuesday was a blue. The only thing that I remember doing is trying to figure out the whole MS Surface thing and trying to lock it down along with setting up multiple new users that were starting and other things.

These other things, no idea.

It was just a lot of MS Surface figuring out and I was almost constantly busy.

Ridiculous.

For the most part, Friday had been a much better day. Slower, less busy.

Oh, to the fucked up week.

To the fucked up week.

* * *

I had plan to do a whole weekend of cleaning, but now I’m not sure.

My body just needs rest. I can feel it, the heavy weighing of ickiness creeping up on my body. I just need to rest and eat and rest and eat and rest.

I think that might be the plan.

I’ll do some cooking, continuing my cooking project for the year with something new today.

Hopefully it’ll turn out well.

I think it will.

It should be interesting.

Taiwanese Scallion Pancake Beef Rolls.

Just relax.

I already did half of the cleaning that I was planning on doing.

The bathroom is done, or mostly done. I just need to mop, but that might just be tomorrow while I rest up today. Might take some Theraflu to help me relax.

No idea.

* * *

My brain is tired.

It doesn’t want to think as this post is just lacking.

I haven’t written anything creative in a while. The writing prompts haven’t been added to.

But I think for the time being, I have enough to work with, to get a decent story from, especially a selection of shorts, which is the idea of it.

But eh. Time to just research and call this little post over.

It’s been a long couple of days. I got sick.

Sick again.

It wasn’t as bad as it could have been but I got sick. It wasn’t the snot running coughing fever filled cold that one would be familiar with but the whole body shut down tired and fatigue one that I have been plagued with quite often.

I know that it isn’t that my body is giving up on me with all of the active non-active things that I do, but that it was just a genuine cold. Maybe it was from Dan or maybe it was from Enzo, I’m not sure, but it did come on Thursday and I took half a day.

I went home and slept. Friday, I took the day off still feeling a little tired.

But who would have that Relish would have more severe problems than I would.

I’ve had her for almost 2.75 years now and she never had any health issues. She was a model cat, bitchy and bossy and cuddly when she wants.

But on Tuesday night she had an episode. I’m calling it an episode because I really don’t know what it is.

She started to throw up out of nowhere. She threw up everything in her stomach and then onto the bile. By the time we gone to bed, she was better. No more vomit, but she seems to be coughing or trying to hack something up.

Relish was a little lethargic and I hoped that a little rest would help her out.

By Wednesday night, I noticed that she was breathing heavily or breathing in a way that I never say before. He whole body was contracting with each breathe. She’s breathing with her whole body, which I’d never seen before.

I thought it was the heat from the apartment. There’s been a heat wave and the humidity was ridiculous. Thursday rolled around and it was the same thing.

I decided to take her to the vet on Friday, which I took a sick day for my ickiness.

The vet was worried about her breathing. After tests and x-rays, it seems that she has acute asthma. It was just sudden.

I was worried that it might be her chewing on the screen, but nothing came up in the x-rays. I don’t know what it is.

After a few hours at the vet on oxygen, she was released to be picked up. I got there around 6 last night and she still seemed to be breathing heavily. By 10pm, I went to the bedroom to check on her and she looked horrible.

Her mouth open. Breathing hard. Stressed. Something definitely wasn’t right with her, so I took her to the emergency room.

I told the attending vet what happened with the vomiting and with what the primary vet told me.

Relish was kept overnight.

From an update this morning, she seems to be doing well on the oxygen and that her temperature went down, thankfully.

I did notice how hot she was.

Sitting in the emergency room last night, alone, waiting for the vet, I was worried. I was sad. I was scared that she might not make it. I thought that if I was so worked up over a cat, what would happen if it was one of my real children (if I’m ever fortunate to have one). Being a parent isn’t easy.

I sympathize with Dan and what he had to go through with Helina. It’s tough. Definitely a scary thing to see your kid go to the hospital.

The vet said that I should be able to pick Relish up later today, early afternoon. I hope that it is over and that the antibiotics help her with whatever is causing her pain. I hope.

* * *

Tahoe and more family.

This past weekend was Maggie’s wedding and I took a few days off before to Tahoe before the wedding festivities in Reno.

Tahoe.

What can I say about it?

It was all right. I took the long scenic route, the CA 14 & 395 to South Lake Tahoe and Heavenly Village. The drive was easy and beautiful, more beautiful and easy than what I remembered from when I went with mom and my bro a few years back.

When I got to Tahoe and checked in, what I didn’t expect was how cold it was in Tahoe, especially at night.

It was fucking cold and I only brought shorts and chinos on this trip. No jeans, which I could have used.

I got there around midafternoon and after I checked in I just wandered and roamed around the area. When I booked the hotel, I didn’t realize how close I was to Heavenly Village, which is like their ski resort town. There were a lot of food options and shops, like a gigantic strip-mall type thing. It wasn’t bad.

There were a few casinos down the way in the Nevada side of Tahoe. I scoped them out looking for good food options. Not much there.

So, I walked to the lake and just chilled there for a bit before I wandered some more and got a beer or two at a bar & grill. I kept the afternoon very very chill.

I had dinner and then later that night I went to a comedy show. I thought was surprised when the comedians that were there weren’t the comedians that were on the digital sign outside of the casino. That was for last week’s comedians.

It was a fun night regardless.

The next day was the day of the hike. I only did one hike in Tahoe and it was the Van Sickle Bi-State Park. It was a simple trail that lead up to a small waterfall and if you continue past the waterfall you’ll end up on the Rim Trail and if you go past that you can head up to the Ridge Lodge. That’s what I did. It was about a 5 mile hike one way.

Easy.

You do get good views of the lake from up on high, but I don’t know, I wasn’t too impressed. Maybe I’ve been on other hikes and the views were much more spectacular. Or maybe it was just an expectation. From my view, the lake was just a body of water off in the distance. Nothing stunning about it.

When I got up to the Ridge Lodge, I found a hotel cafe and got breakfast before I hiked back down. So, from about 7:50-1:30, that was my day of hiking.

I went back to the hotel and just took a nap and then chilled.

Around 3, I headed out and just walked around the town. I walked pretty much all over just trying to find what I should eat for dinner. I’ll Yelp something and go check the menu etc etc. All over the fucking town. What I ended up getting was pizza at a build your own pizza place, a la Blaze. It wasn’t bad I guess. At least it was cheap.

The rest of the night I just chilled in the hotel watching Beat Bobby Flay. I guess in a way I really was just relaxing and trying to prepare myself for the active and social weekend at Reno with family.

Friday.

I didn’t really have concrete plans that day. I didn’t really have any plans actually.

All I know is that I didn’t have to be at Reno until around 6pm, when dinner was going to be and when my bro and mom would show up. They were driving from Seattle.

So, bright and early I checked out because I generally can’t sleep in past a certain time. I got some coffee at Starbucks and decided that I should drive up to Emerald Bay to check it out, since it was a popular attraction at Tahoe.

But the universe thought it was a bad plan for me and many other visitors. The road up to the bay was closed. So, I said fuck it, let’s head toward Reno along the lake and just stop wherever I feel like it.

But to my surprise, there wasn’t anything interesting.

Then Suong messaged the family asking to do lunch if anyone was available. I decided to just go, so I got Dat’s address and headed toward his place. I got there just past 10 in the morning.

I chilled with Kent until Dat came back. We were just talking about the whole situation and then when it was time to go, we all went to get lunch with everyone else.

Let’s fast-forward a few hours to the beginning of the end, the time when the drinking all started.

We’re back at Dat’s place with the cousins and we were packing up his bar since he’s moving back to Fresno and we needed some liquor to pregame. So, there we started our tequila shots. 1800 agave.

That then continued back at hotel.

All this time, I was helping Ly cut down and edit down his officiant speech. It was good to begin with, but a little long and redundant. We pared it down, streamlined it and I thought it was a good one.

So, at the hotel it was shots upon shots upon shots. I only get that was when I just wanted to zone out and to relieve some anxiety. Again, I usually don’t do shots anymore. I’m too fucking old for that shit, but I don’t know, with the kids there, I just felt that it had to be shots.

I usually just sip now, easier, slower, better. But nope, shots.

I had a shit ton of tequila and then we went out to reload and Ly got some Kentucky Bourbon, which was pretty damn good.

I started to sip a lot of Bourbon and then everyone pretty much left to prepare for the dinner that night, getting food and what not. My family wasn’t there yet, so I’m left at the hotel with some strangers and I basically passed out.

It’s just black.

I don’t remember much of anything.

I remember the manicurist getting there and maybe the two girls, or something. Not sure.

But the next thing I know is that Ly put a bowl of rice and beef in my hands telling me to eat and Amy put a plastic bag next to me, afraid that I was going to throw up.

While I was blacked out drunk, my bro arrived and texted me that they had arrived. Yeah, I was shit-faced.

So, I stopped drinking and just went for water and tried to eat stuff.

Let’s just say that I don’t get drunk around family, or this much family. No one had seen me this drunk before. I haven’t been this drunk since a long ass time. But it was a sight to be seen.

I was cursing and I was loud. Yeah, fun times.

I’m sure family had an interesting time seeing me drunk. Not many have seen me that drunk before or know what kind of drunk I am. I don’t think I’m a fun drunk. I just get loud and curse a lot if not a little belligerent, but not that belligerent.

But eventually slowly I sobered up and just had a good talk with Ly, Mikey, and Kellye about Ly’s girl situation. It’s been a while since I had an honest discussion with him about anything. I still remember having these discussions over IM while he was in college.

I just honestly told him how I see the situation.

I’m good at reading people and the situation by piecing together information and I think I read the situation correct. I hope that he heard me. I’m sure he did.

Eventually I got back to their hotel, got some water, and then I just went to bed back at my room.

* * *

Bright and early the next day, like any other day, I got up at 6 or 7. This was three fold. I usually wake up at that time anyway. My bro left to play some golf. Lastly, I slept on the couch and didn’t pull out the bed. It was uncomfortable.

I went out to get some coffee and just to decompress and be alone from the night before ’cause I know that I won’t have much alone time much after that.

The day was simple. Went over to Dat’s place and had some congee with pickled mustard. So fucking good. I miss it. Also, I just chatted with my cousins and that was about it.

Later, we went back to the hotel room where I rested a little bit before we all got ready and left for the wedding.

The wedding was simple and small. It was a nice service outside. Ly did well on his little speech. Definitely not perfect. He didn’t remember most of it and had to read off of his phones plus he was fucking nervous. Words and lines were stumbled, but overall, it was good.

Then, pictures and the party began.

I didn’t drink that night. After the night before, it wasn’t in my cards.

We waited for our table number to be called and got food and when I was done, I was chilling outside for most of the festivities. It was just too crowded in there.

Surprisingly, I didn’t really socialize that much. Not at all. I kept to myself if I can or just people watched.

I chatted a bit with some family here and there, but that’s about it.

There was a time when Ly and I were chatting about how I kept it real and was honest about our discussion the night before. He said I should have been a therapist, but I told him how hard it was and how I went to therapy for a year about my dad and the guilt I felt.

His mind was blown and that it was ridiculous.

It’s good that some family knows.

But, after that, the night was over and we are left with Sunday.

We were scheduled to leave Monday morning, but since everyone was leaving on Sunday, we decided to just leave that day and go to Auntie’s instead.

So, we went to Auntie’s and spent the night.

There, I had the best gift ever in a long ass time. She still had a few unused Mulberry Silk Quilts that she bought in China from our trip back in ’07. She wasn’t using them, so she gave them to my bro and me.

Fucking SCORE!

Score indeed.

I’m just waiting for my cotton duvet cover and then I can decide on what to do with my old one. It still good. It’s a waste to throw it away, but it’s so fucked.

I have decisions to make.

* * *

So, all in all, that is the long weekend and the festivities.

It’s always great to see family and be around family again, but I’m not going to lie, it’s fucking great to back on my own and away from family.

Tired on this special day of Labor.

I’m at my usual getting in the mood to do some finger tapping. It’s been a long time since I’ve been doing my usual typing, ever since I started the Master Class. Since I know I wouldn’t able to focus on much of anything, I decided to go back to these ramblings for a bit.

It was a quick whirlwind weekend in Fresno. Well, it was actually more a day than anything else.

I drove up for Maggie’s wedding, well, the Chinese banquet side of it for Sister. Overall, it wasn’t too bad.

I got to know Tony and his friends a little bit better and for the most part, I just chilled.

Went straight to Gifu’s place bright and early in the morning and just chilled there until it was time for me to check into the hotel. There I chilled till it was time to go to the banquet.

They all told me to go at 6. That’s when it’ll start, so knowing me, hating to be late, I got there at 5:50pm. Big mistake.

I was the only one there for a good 30 minutes before anyone showed up and it wasn’t the hosts that showed up, but the guests. The tables started to fill up and 40 minutes after the party was to start was when someone Gifu and Sister showed up.

I didn’t sit at the wedding table, but at a separate table with Big Auntie and Phouc. For the most part it was fine, until they just tell me to keep eating when I was full. That got fucking annoying fast. Really fucking annoying, really fucking fast.

It was loud, as it usually is at these things and the lady that I was sitting next to talking over me to Auntie and Phouc didn’t help at all.

So, I just minded my own business, ate and just zoned out until it was over.

I was fucking ecstatic when it was finally over.

* * *

Looking back, I think the funniest shit that happened on Saturday was at the house. I was sitting on the couch where the ancestral altar was, chilling, minding my own damn business and then this fat kid in a blue shirt comes up to me and lays down on the empty spot on the couch. He was huffing and puffing annoyed, trying to get my attention. I paid him no mind. Damn kid.

He then tells me that my kids are annoying. I’m like, what kids? “The kids in the blue shirts.” “I don’t have kids.”

Just fucking funny. I guess I just look old enough to have these fucking kids. I look like an old man who has kids. Well, I guess to a kid, I do and am an adult, therefore it wouldn’t be a big stretch.

I am well old enough to have them.

Just too funny in my mind.

Apparently, he is a very self-important lazy entitled kid too.

I just ignored him.

* * *

After the banquet we all went back to their hotel room and chilled before making plans to go out and hit the bars to get some drinks. After my experience at the banquet, I just needed a fucking drink or two.

For the most part, it was pretty cool and chill. I stayed up really late too, way past my bedtime.

Honestly, thinking back, I don’t think I’ve really ever went socializing in Fresno before. Sure there were one or two times, but not really. It was interesting to say the least.

* * *

Ahhh, marriage. There is so much to say but so hard to put into words.

I don’t think I’m a qualified person to discuss or even to give advice on relationships. I don’t have a great track record with them, and given my longest relationship was just only 6 months. Definitely not qualified.

Thinking about marriage and knowing me and understanding my faults and qualities and just me as a person, I don’t think it is for me.

There’s just a lot of having to think and deal with another person. There’s not a lot of control there and we all know how much control I need over my life.

I’m sure a lot of people will just say that I need to find the right person and everything will be fine. Will it?

Compromise. That’s another good one.

I don’t know. I don’t even want to think about it now.

It’ll just be something that I don’t want to think about or focus on. Marriage isn’t for me.

Relationships, not for me.

Blah.

This is my last day here at home home. It’s sending me off in typical PNW fashion with a gloomy morning and maybe, just maybe it’ll light up in the afternoon.

But it’s my last day and I’m not sure when I’ll be back? Maybe Christmas? Who knows?

Knowing me, it’ll probably be Christmas. It usually is.

These past two weeks away from LA went by quickly like it usually does. Sure there were some slow days where I really didn’t do anything at all, but I was sick, so there’s that.

I didn’t get to go hiking with Pickles because he’s a fucking asshole. The night and a few days after I picked him up from the boarders, he was limping and moving gingerly. I had suspicions that he’s faking it, wanting some attention and not wanting to be sent off again. So, because of that, I never went out hiking with him, fearing that it was a real injury.

So, yesterday, he was back to form, an extra spring in his step, walking and running fast. Fucker! I say. Asshole!

But it’s good, I don’t have to worry about him being injured anymore. So, in a way, that’s a weight off my mind.

So, going back, it’s my last day.

I really don’t have much planned besides the movie with my bro.

It’s my last day together with mom. She actually took the day off yesterday too because she didn’t realize that I was leaving Sunday and not Monday.

We went wine tasting, which was on my short list of things to do while I was up here.

We left a little late so we only tried two wineries, but overall, it was great. I got to had some other wines at Chateau Ste Michelle and we visited another winery called JM Cellars. That one wasn’t as good as Chateau.

But, yes, it is definitely something that I’ll have to do again and visit more. Make it a bigger trip next time. Maybe when some uncles and aunties are around, we all can go.

Maybe. Who knows?

* * *

Looking back on this trip, this one was a lot more family than my usual trips back here, especially during the summer time. Sure, there were a few things that were the same and a few things that I didn’t do, but all-in-all, it was a very family centric trip.

I guess all of my trips back here to the PNW are always family centric trips.

Sure, I didn’t have many solo excursions with Pickles like I normally would, like hiking or exploring Seattle, but I managed to get one on the first day that I felt better after my cold. Pickles and I explored Tacoma a little more. Man, so much has changed in the past 15 years. So much.

It’s barely recognizable or that I just can’t remember what Tacoma looked like anymore.

Time. It changes things.

But, something new and different happened on this trip and that was getting drinks at bars with the kids, well the kids that are able to drink. I’m sure it all started with me taking Cloud to Snickers in Chicago and just chilling and I guess we just wanted to continue that tradition. It was great. Just shooting the shit and talking about life, vacationing and just getting to know each other better, in general. It’s definitely something that I want to keep up.

But it’ll definitely not be for a while since Cloud will be studying abroad in France.

But, maybe it’ll happen since we maybe be planning a trip to Italy and France next year. Let’s hope that happens. Fucking hope my bro steps up and actually plan something.

It not, then I’ll have to fucking step up again.

We shall see. We shall see.

* * *

Now all I have to do is to prepare myself for the long 18-hour drive. It’s a lot of mind over matter. I don’t really have to rush and I know I should take it easy and get back whenever I get back.

Benjo and Zarlenga already know my situation and are totally okay with me not showing up to work on Monday. They understand.

So, let’s just see how things go.

PNW.

It was a good trip. Sure I didn’t get to do much, but I set out to do most of the things that were on my list and had a few surprises thrown in there.

Good trip.

Till the next one.

Definitely, till the next one.

Banff.

What can I say?

AMAZING.

Just absolutely breathtaking.

There were moments when I just stood and took in my surroundings. The beautiful turquoise waters of Lake Louise with the mountains and valleys around it. I was alone, while my brother was straddling behind or doing his business, but I stood and let them embrace me.

Tears.

I almost cried. Tears formed. My eyes tingled from the wetness of the pools forming at the bottom of my eyes. They almost fell.

Just beautiful.

BEAUTIFUL.

Banff.

* * *

I’d seriously been meaning to go to Banff for quite a few years now. Ever since that I found out that it was about a 10-hour drive from Seattle. I’d driven much longer to go hiking before and 10 hours was nothing.

It didn’t quite get serious until Glacier National Park. I went with my bro and that was just a 9-hour drive. I think it was around that time, back in 2013, that I realize that I need to utilize and do more while I take my usual two-week vacation back at home home. I need to make excursions and long trips out of it. I need to make my time away worth it, rather than just staying home and doing nothing.

I needed to explore and Glacier was my first trip. That was amazing.

So, I decided, Banff.

And finally I did it and it was a banging success.

Banff.

We definitely need to meet again.

* * *

We left bright and early Saturday morning.

The drive in itself wasn’t too bad. I didn’t actually know what I was going to expect on the drive, but I sure didn’t expect that.

The road wasn’t too crowded nor did I have any problems with traffic.

I was just surprised that for about 95% of the drive was through vast wilderness and mountains. You slit through valleys and ride high on mountain tops.

The scenery was magical. I was floored by its green beauty. Just floored.

It was mostly a quiet drive, since my bro and I are usually quiet people, especially around each other. We just listened to podcasts that I had been saving up and that was that.

We got some lunch around the halfway mark, at Kamloops. Nothing special.

After we checked in we were on our way to start exploring Lake Louise and the Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise. We needed to get some dinner. We stopped by the village first to figure out our dinner options, but then we opted to go to the fancier restaurants at the Chateau and that was worth it.

Just magical.

Just magic.

When I first laid eyes on Lake Louise for the first time with my bare eyes instead of pictures, I gasped. Floored by its beauty.

There were people still on the lake in canoes at around 8pm at night. The sun doesn’t set until 9:30 or so there.

But I was just floored.

The gorgeous color of the water dwarfed by the high mountains on either side of the lake and the back mountain range with the glacier ice just hanging there. Serene. Tranquil.

Even the other tourists around snapping pictures didn’t bother me at all. I was in my element. I was tuned in to the zen frequency.

After ingesting the beautiful scene and snapping the obligatory pictures, we went to explore the Chateau and look at our dining options.

We decided on the lounge and they sat us close to a window where we had a great view of the lake.

I had the lamb curry. It wasn’t good. Salty, but I was hungry and I’d arrive. I didn’t care.

* * *

Sunday was the first day of our time there.

Well before the trip I got a rough idea of what we were going to do. I had all the trail maps uploaded to my phone. I got most everything planned out. It was just a rough agenda with plenty of time for exploration.

Sunday I planned to do the Lake Agnes Teahouse and then to the Plain of Six Glaciers Teahouse. Yes, I did the two teahouse loop. It was roughly about a 13-15-mile hike, but we added a few more miles with some side trail exploration.

I do have to say, it was fucking busy that day. Maybe it was because it is a Sunday or that it was Lake Louise and there’s just a shit ton of people, but the trails were packed.

We started the hike a little later than I wanted because I forgot about the one-hour time difference, but in the end, it all worked out.

For the most part, I just zoomed as my brother was held back by a group, but he finally managed to catch up. By the time we reached the Lake Agnes Teahouse it was already packed.

It was so crowded there, so many people that we couldn’t even get a spot. Instead we found a spot by the lake, ate some energy bars, rested and then we were on our way.

We had a mountain to climb, and fucking holy hell, that one was rough. It was the BeeHive.

Once we got to the top, we decided to hit up the lookout and the pagoda. There was a beautiful view of the valley and Lake Louise down below. Magical. The shimmering turquoise water down below was mesmerizing.

Amazing.

After getting our view of the lake, we were on our way and we worked our way down the mountain to hit up the Highline Trail to the Plain of Six Glaciers.

The incline on that trail wasn’t too bad but maybe it was just the high elevation or the expectation or the length of the trail, but I was fucking dying. But we finally got to the other teahouse and it was a lot less crowded.

As I posted on my IG, it was a lot less crowded because that hike was no joke. I’m sure if we went there first, I wouldn’t have a problem, but man, I was dying on that hike.

We found a table and got our biscuit and tea and just chilled for a bit before we head up to the PofSG lookout.

That hike wasn’t too bad. Just up and up and we took our time but it provided us more great views and then disaster came. We were almost right to the end of the lookout and then the storm came.

The rain/hail/sleet/snow came and we were caught in it on a precarious ridge trail. We hustled down the trail back to the teahouse at a very good fast clip. That’s when my bro aggravated his knee.

It was about 3+ miles back to the hotel from the teahouse and we just soldiered on. We put on our rain gear and just hiked down while it rained on and off.

But it was an exhilarating rush as we hiked down. My bro took his time with his bum knee as people were passing us by.

I was getting annoyed, but I’m an asshole. He was slowing me down.

But we managed to get to the bottom in one piece for the most part and that was the end of our adventure for the first day. We went back to the lodge, took a shower, rested and then we drove back to the Chateau to get dinner.

I had a lamb stew. I wasn’t bad, but I know for sure I was done with stews and stew like food for a while.

* * *

The next day was our final day in Banff and the weather turned out much better than the day before.

That day we, or I, decided to do Moraine Lake and Larch Valley.

Going up the first set of switchbacks to the beginning of Larch Valley was tough. We were definitely on a much slower pace than the day before.

I’m sure a lot of it had to do with how tired we were from the day before and my bro having a bum knee and also it was just fucking up and up and up in high elevation.

But oh man, it was fucking beautiful once we got to Larch Valley. The 10 peaks stood high up in the sky and the Valley opened and that’s all there was, the peaks.

We made it to the end and took a rest by the lake that was right before Sentinel Pass. From everything that I’ve read, the view from Sentinel Pass was phenomenal, but man, we were tired. The trail was about 1 mile in total distance and about a thousand feet in elevation gain. It was rough.

I’m sure if we took our time we wouldn’t have a problem, but knowing my bro, he wasn’t down. He was concerned about making it down the valley and the hike because of his bum knee. Next time.

Next time.

I was in awe with the amount of people that was hiking up there. Sure it wasn’t as busy as the day prior, but there were quite a few at the lake, already on the pass, and many that were coming up when we hiked down.

The one thing that I loved was how many dogs were hiking up there. We saw quite a few on both days, from big dogs to little dogs. There were dogs everywhere and I loved that Canada had such a lax dog law for their National parks.

We finally made it down to the fork of the trail head and then we made our long long way to Eiffel Lake. The hike in itself wasn’t bad, a fairly straight and flat two-mile trail along the side of the mountain offering spectacular views of the Ten Peaks and a few peeks at Moraine Lake down below.

We rested for a bit at the lake and then we make our long way back. Again, my bro had to take his time going down the trail to the actual trail head.

I was very annoyed with it of course, ’cause I’m and asshole, and then my left knee started to hurt. Karma.

Karma. She’s a bitch.

We made it all the way down and we had one final hike left to do, the Moraine Lake trail. This short 3/4 of a mile trail goes along the side of the lake. We made it to the end, took in the views and then we hiked our way back to the car and then we called it a day.

Like usual, we drove back to the hotel and showered and then drove back for our final dinner.

It was actually pretty good dinner. It was at one of the fancier hotel restaurants. Lago. Italian. Not bad at all.

* * *

The next day, we just drove our way back home.

For the most part, the drive was uneventful, but man, driving through that storm and the wet road at highway speeds was a little hairy. It’s been a long time since I did that and there were times I’m sure I was hydroplaning.

The good thing about it was that I got a car wash, which I desperately needed. My car is a lot cleaner now and I love it.

Overall, the trip was magical. It’ll be a trip I’ll forever remember.

Banff, as I had suspected, had sneaked its way into my heart and found a spot in it.

It’ll definitely be in the rotation of things to do whenever I drive up here again.

Most definitely.

Well, my two-week vacation is about half over and I haven’t really done shit this trip.

Why?

I’ve been sick.

I’m still a little sick.

My body is still tired. My nose is still sniffly.

I hate being sick.

Being sick as an adult takes forever to get over. You are fucking knocked out for days on out. I don’t have youth on my side anymore, able to bounce back after a day or two.

It’s now a week long affair.

Ahhh, something to get use to, I guess.

But yes, vacation is about half over and I haven’t done anything.

I think in a way, it is a good thing because that means I’m resting, or resting as best as I can because the biggest part of my trip is coming up tomorrow.

Banff.

That’ll be the next four days and I guess I’ll need to rest up for the drive and the hikes.

I sure don’t want to be sick for that. I can be sick and dead after, because I don’t want to miss it.

So, what have I been doing with my downtime up here?

Well, for the most part, the beginning of it was mostly family. I had the wedding and then aunts over at the house, so I just chilled with them and my mom for a bit.

I went out a little bit with my bro for a food truck festival in downtown Tacoma. But then, on Monday, I got sick.

I was fighting it. My throat was hurting. My eyes were tired. My body ache. Classic signs of a cold.

I had to rest. I needed sleep.

I think I got it from 5th Auntie. She was sick the first night that I got here. Booo.

But all in all, it was great seeing family again.

As always with any trip I do up here, it’ll always be a family affair.

Besides being with family, the rest of the time was just sleeping. I needed it.

I napped. Woke up and walked Pickles and then napped again and just laid on the couch and watch tv.

I kept it simple.

* * *

On Wednesday night I hung out with the kids, Cloud and Sinh. We went to a local dive bar in Downtown Tacoma. Zodiac Supper Club.

I didn’t know what to expect. Going by the pictures, I thought it was like a restaurant type thing, because they do a weird thing where you cook your own protein. Whether it is a steak or a burger or whatever, they give you all the fixings and your raw protein and you cook it on the grill at the front of the bar.

So, when I went in, it was half empty, but just like six people at the bar and a group of early twenties outside the bar and it was a no frills whatever bar. Divey. My kind of bar. Music was blasting on the jukebox and it wasn’t bad.

I got my Jameson neat, found a table and just chilled, going through the news feed on my phone and waited for the kids. I showed up about 40 minutes early because I just wanted some alone time to unwind and build myself for socializing and to just people watch and just to have a peaceful time alone, not with Pickles and not with my bro.

Overall, it was nice.

It was just good getting drinks with the kids, my second time with Cloud and first time with Sinh. It was just great catching up on their lives and just getting to know them better and just talk.

We talked about life, about Cloud’s QLC and millennial entitlement and paying your dues.

Sinh seems to get it, but let’s see how it goes when he gets out of college. I’m very curious.

We’ll probably going to do it again before I leave, once Sinh gets back from Cali. Gonna go to a brewery and do some beer tasting. I think it is more of a time to get Sinh use to beer and other types of alcohol. He’s still young. He likes the light lagers, the blondes.

I do have to say, I was good with my alcohol this time. I took my time, sipping and I had water with it too. I was proud of myself. It’s really time to adult when it comes to certain things.

Adulting is life.

I’m looking forward to it, hanging out with the kids again. It’s funny that out of everyone in my family, especially with all my cousins that I grew up with, it’s these new kids that I grow to have a good relationship with.

Maybe in a way, I’m a little envious of them, having that type of freedom at such a young age. I never had that type of freedom at that age. Maybe it’s because they are able to embrace their American freedom at such a young age and I was too tied into my Chineseness. Who knows, but just a little envious.

Just a little.

* * *

Yesterday was the first day that I felt well enough to leave the house and to venture out and explore. I didn’t do much of anything new. I went down to Ruston Way and just walked the waterfront with Pickles, hitting pokestops along the way, loading up on pokeballs. I’m out.

I got a lot of different Pokémons though, that’s a good thing, but it was great getting out of the house. Get some fresh air and I’m sure Pickles appreciated it also, but man, does he look old and tired.

Ahhh, such an old dog. I love him so much.

He still tests my patience though, but he’s such a great dog none the less.

Then we just drove around Tacoma and got lost. I had no fucking idea where I was going. I thought I remember, but seriously, 15 years is a long time to be away from the city you grew up with. So much has changed in these years, that it is tough to remember much of anything when so much has changed and developed.

Tacoma gets more and more unrecognizable each time I visit and explore.

Time.

Time’s a bitch, constant change with each ticking second.

That’s growth and I guess it applies to destruction too.

I guess it all depends, but things sure look different.

Very different.

Here I am again.

After a long year and a half absence, I’m back at home – home home.

I’m back at my usual writing spot, the Asensio, putting my thoughts onto page like I haven’t been away for such a long time.

I still can’t believe that the last time I was home was back during Christmas break 2014.

It definitely was a much needed break since last year was just a wave of traveling for work, flying across the country and no real vacation for myself.

Again, just two trips last year. Just two trips, that I remember.

Well, there were smaller trips between those trips, wedding trips, so they don’t really count.

And also, I guess, besides visiting family there really wasn’t a reason for me to be back. This year, I came back because I had a wedding to go to, Michael’s, and since I had to come back, might as well make a trip out of it.

I’ve always talked about how I wanted to do Banff, and so fuck it, I’m doing Banff.

But, overall, it was great seeing family again, especially some family I haven’t seen in years. Definitely a great time to see them all and catch up, for the most part.

* * *

This is my second full day here. Got into town Friday afternoon after a long drive from Sacramento and it was pretty much nonstop since then.

I had a small reprieve yesterday afternoon as I came back after dropping Sister and Fu off at Uncle’s and my bro wasn’t home, so I just chilled, surf the net, watched some trailers and took a much needed nap.

I didn’t sleep well the night before. Maybe I was still wired in a sense from the drive, or maybe it was cold and not comfortable on that damn air bed at all, but I didn’t sleep well.

Slept on the couch last night. So much fucking better.

Had an interesting dream last night. HH was in it and it seemed like we were on a date. Not really sure, but overall, pleasant dream.

But, I have a long long couple of weeks ahead of me and I’m just going to take my time and relax and just chill. Family will still be in town for the next day or two and I’m just going to go with the flow before I start going solo.

I still don’t know what my mom’s schedule is like, so playing it by ear is the best approach.

* * *

So, pretty much everyone is still sleeping. Lo and behold, the sun came up and starting around 5 in the morning, I couldn’t get back to sleep and Pickles was getting antsy. I’m sure he was pretty hungry or his ass needed to pee, but when he saw me stirring, he was like..yessss the asshole is waking up.

But, up-and-at-em at around 6 in the morning, out for a long 4 mile walk with Pickles, catching some Pokémon and came back they were all still asleep around 7:30 or 8 in the morning.

So, here I am.

As one can see, I don’t have the usual vibe in my writing anymore. Still have no idea why, but it’s something.

Maybe I can’t focus? Maybe I’m getting old? Maybe it’s just something else and I’m over this whole writing thing.

No idea. I don’t know. I know there’s still love in writing and creating in me. There is.

I love stories. I love narrative.

I’m just in a creative rut or I’m just in something that is preventing me from focusing and what not.

A break is good. Focus on something else.

Maybe something will come out of this whole Sorkin Master Class thing.

Maybe. Just maybe.

We shall see.

My mantra.

* * *

Slow day.

My last weekend in town before I drive up to my home home winds down and it’s been quite slow. Slow days.

I had to run some errands for mom yesterday, buying logan meat for mom and so I decided to just take the Expo Line down to DTLA and explore Grand Central Market and then go to Chinatown and get what mom wanted.

I did just that.

I spent a few hours at GCM, having a nose-to-tail breakfast and then just sitting at the hipster coffee bar sipping on some espresso and sparkling tea and then a nice frothy cappuccino.

It was nice. It was serene. I wasn’t really rushing to get anywhere, enjoying my time sipping the coffee, reading whatever news that came up on my phone and reading some pages on the book I’m currently reading.

Slow down.

Slow day.

That’s one of the things I’m trying to get better at in my life, to just slow down. I tend to rush everywhere, in terms of how fast I walk and wanting to get to my destination.

I usually just go with the flow for the most part, but yeah, rush rush rush.

Slow down.

Slow day.

I walked over to Chinatown, exploring, walking, with no time constraints, re-treading on familiar ground that grown unfamiliar from the not having been to Chinatown in years. It was just great getting reacquainted with it again, but it was also sad. Many stores are being priced out of the location and either moved or just flat out closed.

Very sad indeed as we see the tell-tale signs of gentrification with new condos and new western/hipster restaurants popping up around the area.

Sad. Sad indeed.

Chinatown was on its slow death years ago and I’m assuming it will finally meet its end soon as more and more businesses are moving east towards the new Chinatown of San Gabriel Valley and Monterey Park; the 626.

Plazas emptied. Stores closed and shuttered. It’s a sad state of affairs in Chinatown.

The big Wing Hop Fung shut down and moved to Alameda and San Gabriel.

I found another herb shop across the street and had short convo in Canto with the Auntie that ran the shop. She called me good looking. Liang jay. Hahhaa. Too funny.

She’s one of us – a Vietnamese – Chinese Immigrant.

There are a lot of us in the world. A lot.

I ended up getting a roast duck and some pork for dinner and hiked it on the train and went home.

I do have to say, even though it would have taken me less time if I drove down to dtla and Chinatown, it was worth it taking the train, even though I stood the whole time on the way back.

It was just easier. Don’t have to worry about traffic and slow ass people and crazy LA drivers.

Plus, it was cheaper, even if I did have to pay my own way. It’ll just be about $3.50 and if I drove, I would have to pay for parking at both Grand Central Market and Chinatown.

Worth it worth it.

Today, would be a slow day.

Relaxing and getting my brain in shape as I mull over what I need to do for Leslie and her Loaner Tap card history page.

I think I may have gotten it down, but I just have to think about it some more.

Slow day.

I hurt.

I ache.

I’m tired.

I don’t know if that last one is just related to being old or the health issues I think I’m going through or I’m just tired from my lack of sleep and just have no energy, but fuck man, all in all, getting old sucks.

In the grand scale of things, I’m not too old. 37. I’m just 37. Not really that old at all, but fuck man, I’m like falling apart.

I slept late on Saturday night, like an hour or two past my bedtime finishing up the bread making and then woke up around my usual time that my circadian rhythm thinks is right for me to wake up and that was about it. 5 hours. Just about five hours of sleep and that just fucked me up all day yesterday and I’m still feeling it today even though I went to bed close to my bedtime.

Getting old sucks.

I’m damn sure I can get out of this little physical rut if I just treat my body a little better. Eat better and more often. Fuck, maybe even just eating a little more. Eating more calories so I have more energy to burn.

Exercise! Nah, who am I kidding, exerting that much force, though good for me, is just too much to ask for.

Eventually, I know when push comes to shove, it’ll happen. Maybe.

Who knows?

Who knows indeed.

But yeah, at the bbq yesterday at uncle’s, my knee just started to hurt. It was aching and it was just sore.

I didn’t understand why. I didn’t know why. I just know that it was fucking with me pretty bad and I was tired and I wanted to go home.

Thankfully, but not really, someone was setting off massive m80s around the neighborhood and Pickles fucking flipped out. He got scared and just wanted to get the fuck out of there, wanted to get back home, to safety.

He kept going inside the house and wanted to find a nice quiet place to hide when I didn’t want him to go upstairs, afraid that he might just relieve himself somewhere. That’s the last thing I want to happen at uncle’s place, Pickles peeing and shitting himself INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE.

Nope. Nope indeed.

With him outside with everyone, his tail tucked between his hind legs, I knew it was just time for him to go home.

So, we left and I came back, did my business, wind down for bed and fell asleep around 10: 30 and I feel good, but still tired.

I don’t want to do anything today, and I don’t plan on doing much. Just walking Pickles and relaxing in front of the tv. I’m not even going to do any photos, which I should.

I say fuck it.

Just chill, relax, watch movies, youtube, and shows, and maybe surf the web and just cook dinner. I’ll do laundry and call it a fucking day.

Simple.

I just want simple. I love simple.

Simple is great. No headaches. No drama.

Simplicity is key.

Simple.

* * *

Obsessive.

Obsessing.

I know I have some OCD tendencies, like the whole knocking at doors/cubes/workspaces before entry and sometimes like stepping on cracks. It’s like a game almost and then it just builds to a compulsion from there.

I always obsess and think about a particular person even I know I fucking shouldn’t. She’s always on my mind and I don’t fucking understand why.

Actually a lot of girls are on my mind.

Actually, relationships, or the idea or thought of being in a relationship is on my mind when I know it really shouldn’t.

Blah.

I’m so over it. I’m so tired of my brain wasting so much time on it.

Blah indeed.

Just blah.

* * *

I’m scaring a little kid.

Well, more actually, I’m just sitting here doing my thing while this little boy is just checking me out, curious and we locked eyes and I’m staring him down.

He goes hide behind his mom.

I’m great.

Hahahaha. He just putz around doing whatever he’s doing to busy himself while the boba girls make their order and he looks over at my direction again. Eye contact. He stops what he’s doing and hides behind his mom.

I’m fucking great.

* * *

Patience.

I know I know, it’s the one thing I know I definitely have to work on.

I wrote about this in an earlier entry about how I need to be more patient in life and with people and things and time and all that fucking jazz.

Shit, I even wrote about that Chinese scroll that I have in my apartment.

But here’s something that I tell most people about why I hate people.

Patience. They just try my patience.

Many people don’t understand why I want kids or have pets when I just want to be alone, not wanting to be in a relationship etc etc.

It’s just because I have a lot more patience with kids, pets and animals, than I do with adults.

Kids and pets can’t fucking help it. They aren’t testing my patience because they are trying to piss me off. They just do it because they don’t understand or can’t communicate what they want. It’s in their nature to be that way. It’s how they learn.;

Adults. C’mon man. Fucking people. I have no patience for adults because they are fucking adults and should just fucking know better.

That’s basically the gist of why I have no patience for adults and most people. When I say I hate people, I mean fucking adults. They lack basic fundamental common sense and that generally pisses me off.

I mean, c’mon asshole/bitch/cunt, YOU SHOULD FUCKING KNOW BETTER.

Rant over.

* * *

It seems I’m just doing whatever I can to get away from writing or my more important creative writing.

I’m horrible. I need a better schedule. I just need to fucking do it and not treat it like a chore.

Remember that you actually enjoy creative writing? Don’t you remember?

You grew to love it.

What happened?

* * *

Maybe this would be a totally different rant on a totally different day of procrastination, but I’m just going to drop it here.

The world is fucking shit.

Every fucking day, something horrible happened in the world.

Another mass shooting. Another suicide bombing. Another hate crime.

The world is fucked. Our future is fucked.

Religion is fucked.

People is fucked.