It’s almost over.

Just hours before the end of 2017 and 2018 ushers in to something new.

I don’t even know what I’m doing out here this morning.

I don’t have much else to write. My brain empties out everything from the day before.

There’s not much to say.

I sit, tinkering around on the web this morning, catching up with the world and my small social circle.

There’s not much. Not much at all.

Hours.

* * *

I’m looking forward to going home tonight.

I’m looking forward to see how my new floors turned out. It’s been nagging at me the whole trip. I don’t know if they have enough time to finish the floors, especially with all the shit that I have in the apartment.

I wonder how my place is. Will it be a mess when I get back? Will they put everything back to where they belong and all I have to do is plug in all the electronics?

I don’t know.

I’ve been anxious most of the week about it.

It’s out of my control, I know, but it’s my place and I feel that I need to have some control over that situation.

I don’t know why my brain harps on things that I don’t have control over. I live and breathe by that little idiom, that little philosophy.

Let go of things that you don’t have control over.

I’m usually good with things like that, but I don’t know why I’m harping on this.

Maybe it affects me directly or maybe I’m just an old crotchety get off my fucking lawn old man that shakes his fist at the damn kids on his lawn.

Let it go.

If shit breaks, fix it.

If things are a mess, put it back together.

I’m not doing anything tomorrow. I don’t need to be anywhere tomorrow. I have no plans.

I’ll be completely alone tomorrow, one free day of doing whatever I want without needing to worry about taking care of Pickles and Relish.;

It’s a free day. A free vacation day.

You have time.

It’ll be a day of cleanup.

That’s symbolic, right?

You start the New Year off by cleaning up the mess.

2017.

It was a mess of a year. Ups and downs, but overall a stressed mess of a year.

2018.

Clean it up.

Put things back to where they belong.

Start fresh. Start new.

Clean it up.

Very symbolic.

* * *

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

I just remembered that 2017 is the Year of the Dog.

I got about another month and a half.

In the Chinese Zodiac, Sheeps and Dogs don’t get along. It was a bad year for me because of it. I should have known that a damn dog would be one of the biggest stressors of this year.

Fuck.

I lied.

It was the year of the rooster. I thought we were cool.

C’mon man?

Ugh, fuck. 2018.

Year of the Dog.

* * *

Sigh.

2018.

A little worried.

Change is good.

Change is great, if it is controlled.

It’s warranted. I want to change. I want to evolve. I want to be better.

Strive to be better.

Always.

Always work and try and better oneself.

I know my faults.

I love my faults, but faults are faults. I’ve lived with many of the long enough and slowly these faults will fade.

I’ve come a long way.

So far.

I’m a changed person.

Time.

Self-Awareness.

Effort.

A better me.

Do it.