Tired.

Sigh.

Here’s another post about me being tired.

These are happening more and more often.

It’s been busy at work and stressful. We’re ramping up the launch of our new system and it’s a lot of planning and meetings and planning and meetings.

My body hasn’t been resting well and I guess it finally caught up to me. I had to take a sick day on Thursday and I’m still not 100%.

I should be resting today, but here I am.

I plan to do a lot of cooking today and look forward to it, but I need a damn nap.

Sigh.

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Not sure what to write about today.

Not sure if there is anything on my mind besides work, which I’m trying to forget and push out of brain. I know it’ll be ridiculous busy for the next few weeks and I want it to be over.

Can it be over already?

Please?

I know I’m whining when I shouldn’t, but damn

Yeah, yesterday wasn’t a good day. I was still tired from my ickiness and was nonstop since I got in. I was pulled into meetings and discussions and meetings and more and help and everything.

I thought having the developer would be helpful, but I guess being the project manager and the go to guy on this rollout has quite a bit of responsibilities that I wasn’t expecting.

C’est la vie.

It’ll get better and I’ll suck it up and stop whining.

I will.

I will.

* * *

Looking up recipes on how to do a gochujang pot roast. I think I may have found something, just need to think it through.

While looking up recipes for pot roast, it’s giving me ideas to do tacos with the leftover meat. Hells to the yeahs. I’m looking forward to it.

I’ve been craving tacos for a while. Actually, I’ve been craving Mexican for a while.

Win win.

I need some winning in my life, even though it seems that I’m winning at work. It doesn’t feel that way.

Fuck man, I’m talking too much about work.

* * *

I stare out the window.

Not sure what to type, unsure about the thoughts running in my head. Should I put them down on paper or should I just let them die their slow misty fade into the ether like most of my thoughts and memories?

I haven’t been so unsure about something in a while and it throws me off.

It’s not quite an existential crisis but more of a crisis of the mind.

My body, broken, beaten, strives for its younger days when there wasn’t anything that could have broken it. Now it just screams in pain at every little thing.

So broken. So damaged.

Time can do that to you. With time comes entropy. It’s the natural order.

I push the thoughts away, as I push people away.

I stare back out the window at the life passing me by. People live their active lives as I live mine in stillness.

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