A new day and back to the grind again of my usual finger tapping.

I have no idea what I am going to write today but I’m just going to write.

I’m already annoyed as the new version of Spotify really sucks dick and I don’t want to go through the hassle of downgrading and preventing automatic upgrades.

I wish that they just stop fucking around with their software. Just makes me not want to use their software and pay for their service anymore.

But, I’m just suck it up right now and just deal with it.

* * *

My weekend of relaxation and being alone is working out well.

I made wontons and cooked some siu mais yesterday. The siu mais are just okay and could be better if the pork had more fat in it, but alas it doesn’t and I have to deal with it.

I guess it is just a weekend of dealing with things.

One thing to be happy of is that my blog is back to its original form as I just copied over all the old settings. Much better and much happier.

* * *

What to write? What do say today?

I don’t know, but I’m just finger tapping, getting back to the grove since it’s been a while since I’ve written anything. I took a lot of time off with Cloud visiting and me being sick and the wedding this past weekend.

I’m getting into the groove, getting back to practice of just writing, even though it is horrible writing, I don’t care.

I just have to put words on top white space and just hope for the best.

* * *

Center.

Breaking thoughts and breaking waves.

Just taking a break from writings and switching subjects or a different flow.

Different different.

Just words onto page as I watch people come and go, distractions.

* * *

Talking with Mikey, him being 10 years younger than I am, it makes me sad what he pointed out. He said that if he wasn’t seeing who he is seeing now, he doesn’t know how he’ll meet anyone.

He’s a home body just like me and he can’t see how he’ll meet anyone.

I totally understand, because I am exactly where he is. Sure, I tried the online dating and I’m at a point in my life where I am not looking for anyone. I’m just living my life, planning my trips, and not expecting anything at all.

I’m just working and living, but keeping things open for that one chance encounter to meet someone.

But, knowing him, I have faith that he’ll find someone. He’s a good kid, but it was funny to hear from him that nice guys finish last.

Yes, there is a truth to that, and I’m at a point where I’m over it. I’m over it.

He’s still young, in a long distance relationship, and he has the right mentality to it. He knows that he’s not willing to move for it, because there is so much that is keeping him rooted where he is. That makes it easier.

I was surprised to hear that he’s such a home body. I always figured that he’d be a little more extroverted.

But he’s a good kid and I have total faith that he’ll do well.

* * *

Shrinking my shoes.

Need to do that, ’cause it is cutting into my heels. It’ll dull the color too. It’s a little too bright.

Man, I really don’t have much to say.

* * *

Sure, after my sessions, I feel a lot better in terms of not being in the rut, having that pressure be gone, and for the most part, my father issues are pretty much resolved.

I did not kill my father. Shit happens.

Let’s just leave that there, but I am still surprised about the whole relationship front.

It’s still a battle of do I want to be with someone or do I want to be alone.

Right now, it is definitely I want to be alone, enjoying my independence.

Maybe I’m just horny and I just need to get laid. Who knows?

I’m just horny.

Being at the wedding and hearing a lot of the older generation talking about how I need to have kids and when I’m going to serve them tea, sure I was annoyed, but it went in one ear and out the other.

I didn’t let it affect me that much, even when and auntie brought up in front of my mom how I need to have kids so my mom can take care of it. There was a slight, what the fuck, but I didn’t let it get to me.

I told others that being alone is the new way of thinking. Marriage is old school.

They all know my stance.

I think they just don’t understand, because they are very old school and in a way, see how such a great guy that I am. They just want the best for me and want me to be happy.

They don’t understand that I’m already happy. Having my independence and freedom and being able and healthy to travel means the world to me.

C’est la vie.

* * *

The world is a fucked up place.

Lots of crazy and sick people.

Bigoted and ignorant people brainwashed by religion.

Hypocrites who preach tolerance and love but practice prejudice and intolerance.

* * *

Life is complicated.

The world is complicated as we try to find meaning and understanding, we just find division and animosity.

Too many people, too many viewpoints, too many conflicts.

There will never be any conciliation.