Today, sitting in my usual place at the all too familiar home away from home, I was going to write about how my dreams are changing. How I am going to make note that my dreams are so different than how they were back in the good ol’ days of yore, the dark days, the dark ages of my life…my misery. But then I found out that for the most part, I did that already, in an earlier post. It’s the first section.

And who’s to say that I might not expand on it here, and maybe write about this experience that I am having on this trip back home. It’s just gorgeous. Just plain GORGEOUS on how beautiful the Northwest is.

* * *

Dreams.

I love dreams. Both the literal dreams and the figurative dreams. The big dreams that we have, wanting to be the astronaut, the director, the actor, the doctor…the anything that I ever dreamed to be.

I love them.

Being the idealist that I am, it goes hand-in-hand with who I am. It is who I am, a dreamer.

But my earlier post is right. I am interacting more in my dreams.

Last night, I had a dream about a devastating earthquake in Los Angeles. It was bad. Buildings were falling down, total destruction. Will, not total destruction, but it was bad; not your typical tumbler of shake shake shake done done done.

I’m not sure how the dream started, but I just remember me driving alone, taking charge of my life and then I see trees start to wobble. I pulled over, making sure it is actually shaking on its own and not from my shifty car. EARTHQUAKE.

Once it stopped, I got in the car again, needing to get to where I needed to go, and it seems to be the office.

And when I got into the office, I was trapped in the staircase, trying to figure out how to get outside. Not sure how I got inside the staircase but I did. On my way down, trying the doors and not sure which exit is the right one, I saw Gus and asked for help.

Interaction.

He helped me out and then I went to the back dock, and went in that way.

And what did I do, I went to visit Ms. D. She wasn’t at her desk. Someone else was. And this room wasn’t the normal room, but she was there, and she had red hair. Different, but we were just talking and joking.

I wasn’t stressed. I don’t think I ever was stressed during the whole thing, not even when I witnessed a head on collision because someone didn’t stop after he exited the freeway.

I didn’t stop to help. I had some place to be.

….and it was to be with Ms. D.

I just felt like I belong, there with her, just talking, chatting.

I’m not alone. There are a lot of people around me. I’m interacting with them. I’m not lost or insecure, I’m just me. I know I need to get somewhere, it’s always a struggle, but I’m not really stressed. I face the issue and figure out how to get out of it to get to where I need to go.

I have direction. I know where I need to be and I have faith that I will get there.

And, I do.

It’s so different. I’m so different.

It’s just so fucking awesome to actually see in myself, the change that I’ve gone through in the last few years of my life. It’s been a long time coming, but damn, is it worth it. So damn worth it.

I can only wonder where my life is going to go from here, from this point in my life. Where?

I can go higher or lower, and I think I’m just going to live it up until whatever comes, comes.

* * *

I’m officially on vacation here in the great Pacific Northwest again.

It is my last real day here. I go back to work on Tuesday, as I drive back down tomorrow, Sunday.

But I do have to say that this is probably one of the best vacations back home…ever!

I usually never really do anything whenever I’m home. I never really go anywhere but stay home.

But this time, I made the decision to do stuff. To go places, to explore.

I was forced to take two weeks off. That’s a lot of time to spend on vacation, home, but I did.

So, instead of taking the tired 5 up, I decided to go the scenic route.

It was a long ass drive. Three days’ worth of driving. It took two days to get to Oregon, and there were some slow parts, but I do have to say that it was totally worth it. It was such a beautiful drive. Just breathtaking.

I took the 1 all the way up until it ended and then continued on the 101.

I do have to say, I will not be doing that drive alone again, but will definite do it if I have a driving partner.

Just so so beautiful.

I didn’t really know what to expect. I know that the 1 is on the coast, driving alongside the Pacific, but again, I never really know what to expect. I don’t think Pickles did either.

Just beautiful. I never thought that California can be so scenic. It was.

It just wasn’t the coast that was beautiful either. There was a lot of farmland, small towns that was just absolutely beautiful also. Unfortunately, I didn’t get pictures because there wasn’t any place for me to really stop and take pictures. But, so damn worth it.

Pickles seemed to enjoy the trip also. Getting to see the different ever changing views along the 1 and the 101. Getting to enjoy the impromptu beach stops and strolls. Just awesome.

Besides the coastal drive, I decided to do four other things while I was up here: 1) Go to Vancouver, BC with Pickles 2) Go to Eastern Washington, explore 3) Photowalk/Exploring Seattle 4) Hiking in the Olympic Peninsula

I did them all. I said I was going to do it, and I did it.

I was surprised that mom went with me on the Eastern Washington trip too. It was a long drive for about 2 hours of exploring Spokane. She’s never been anywhere, so she says and I think she really hasn’t. I’m glad that I was able to spend time with her and bring her along on my excursions.

She and Hien went to Vancouver with me and Pickles too. I got a lot of family time out of it. I’m definitely glad.

There’s really nothing in Eastern Washington. It’s just so different from Western Washington. So so different; nothing but flat flat farmland and ever expanding wheat fields. Beautiful in its own way.

It was also nice to spend some time in Seattle; to go and explore places that were just within reach of me all these years growing up but never been. It was nice to visit Pike’s Place Market, walk down Alaskan Way and seeing the piers. It was really nice. Pickles had a great time also.

But the one thing, besides the coastal drive, that really blew my mind was just how beautiful the Olympic Peninsula was. Words just can’t do it any justice. It was just so…MAJESTIC.

On the hike in the Quinault Rain Forest, seeing Quinault lake; it was just a nice beautiful rejuvenating day for me. The sites were just awesome. Trees everywhere I looked. Thick forest full of trees.

I’m just sad that I never saw or maybe never really appreciated it as we were growing up. But, I am most definitely glad that I was able to experience now, today. I’m definitely happy to have seen it and it just made me fall in LOVE with my home state all over again.

I did kind of wish that mom was there with me, but she worked and I really don’t think she would have been able to keep up with me on the hike.

I wish she would walk more, hike more, exercise more so the next time I’m up here I’ll be able to take her along and maybe instill in her the appreciation of nature that I have in me. I hope one day that we can hike together.

Pickles was very very gung ho of course, eager to attack the trail, eager to sniff and find new scents.

I love my furkid, I love my son. I just love him.

After the hike, after just sitting and looking at the stunning beautify that is Quinault Lake, enjoying my little snacks at the campsite, finishing the hike, I continued my drive up the 101N.

When I thought I could not have been blown away by the sheer beauty that I just saw, I did.

I didn’t really know what my plan for the day until the night before. After the hike, continue on the 101N through Forks and then to Port Angeles, and that is what I did. It was a long day, but so worth it.

Pulling off and enjoying the state parks alongside the 101N, seeing the Pacific and then seeing probably one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen, Lake Crescent.

Oh My Fucking Lord.

Just fucking awesome.

Seeing something like that, it really does make me want to move home so I can be close to it. So I can go and see it whenever I want; just a few hours away. Ahhh, maybe it can become a reality one day. Eventually, maybe.

All through the trip and especially the day of hiking I emailed Ms. D quite a lot. To talk about the trip, the drive, sending her pictures I took from the drive and the hike.

It made her jealous. She belongs here, so she says, up in the PNW in nature.

She loved the pictures of the coastal drive. Now she wants to make the trip.

She loved the pictures of the hike, of Lake Quinault, and of Lake Crescent, wanting me to transport her up here.

So cute. She’s been on my mind lately. She was even in my dreams, and that is because she’s been on my mind, emailing each other back and forth.

She’s adorable. I love her drive, here independence.

Maybe she is a lot like me, that’s why I like her. I don’t know.

But I’m glad I was able to email her, to keep in touch instead of this blackout for my whole time here. I haven’t seen her in about three weeks.

Ahhh….dreams.

* * *

Family.

Menty had a heart attack on the first day of my drive. He’s 37. Heart attack.

I was pretty composed on my whole trip up there, him and Faith telling me not to change my plans. He’s fine and he looks and seems to be really fine.

It didn’t really hit me, hit my heart until the first day I was up here, needing to go see him.

It hurt.

He’s like a brother to me. He is a brother to me and I didn’t want anything to happen to any of my brothers. Not my own nor my cousin.

But I’m so thankful and so glad to know that he’s okay. To know that his family is okay.

It was great to spend time with him, his family, his kids. It was great to see the kids, all of them.

I love my family. I’m glad to know that they are here and I can see them whenever I want. They are only just a few hours flight away.

They are near.

Seeing lil’ Alex being so wild, so much energy, jibbering jabbering in his made up language. So fucking cute.

* * *

Pickles.

My son.

My love.

What is there to say about him, but I absolutely love him.

He’s changed my life in so many ways, I can’t thank him enough. I can’t love him enough.

He’s always game to go anywhere. Anywhere. I love his sense of adventure, always pushing me on, never wanting to stop. He just wants to explore.

I know I definitely wore him out the nature day, but he definitely loved it. I know he did.

I notice this before last year with him.

Last year, while coming home from Auntie’s memorial, mom and Big Auntie was sitting in the living room, just chatting. I got home with Pickles and he would just go to the living room and go say hii. Just be there, tail wagging, like, “Hi, I’m here to say hi. I just got home with Phong, but I want to come to you and say hi.”

I love my son.

I see him doing that again too with mom. He would do it with Hien also.

I remember Wednesday night, coming home from Menty’s, mom was in the living room, he would just go up to her while I am taking off my shoes or putting away his leash, and walk up to mom and just be there, smiling, tail wagging.

And mom would humor him, saying hi back. Giving him a small little pat.

Or yesterday when mom got home from work, Pickles went downstairs to greet her and I would hear mom saying, “Hi Pickles”.

Again, I’m just really surprised because he sticks to me like glue for the most part. Wherever I go, he’s there, by my side. There. Glue. Attached.

Pickles.

I just love my son.

He’s just so much like me, but better. More innocent.

I lucked out with him.

I owe him my life, as it is today. He’s helped made me who I am today.

I’m glad he got to go on this adventure with me.

I just love him, even if Ms. D think he looks like Taylor Lautner as Jacob from Twilight.

* * *

Wrapping things up.

Life = fuckinguberfantabulousawesomeness

It’s just early August, and this year has already shaped up to be a fucking awesome year.

I learn things every year, and this year most definitely has taught me to be a little more social.

It most definitely have been the most social year EVER.

It’s a little too much for me, but I’m not going to complain.

Let’s let it ride.

I’m there, holding on, flowing with the flow, going wherever it goes.

Life.

Take me away.

Whoosh!