Life.

It goes on.

That’s one thing I know for sure about life. No matter what happens in one’s life or with the people around you, life goes on.

It’s a ticking time bomb that is scheduled to go off at any minute and you just wait, anticipating it, but never really knowing when it will really happen. So, what can you do? What can you do? You just go with the flow, hoping it isn’t your turn for your bomb to go off and mourn for those that do.

Life.

Good and bad and the ultimate of mehs just all happen concurrently and there is no way to separate them all and have them go through phases in your life at different times. They just are and you have to deal. Just deal.

Sprinkled in between, it’s just a matter of perspective. Good. Bad. Mundane. Perspective.

Half full, half empty. Another question of perspective and that is just what life is.

My negativity is not a dig on myself, it’s just who I am. Not that I’m a really negative person, but I think I’m more of a realist and most of all, I’m very self-deprecating. Jokes and digs at my expense. I just don’t take myself that seriously.

Why should I?

Sigh.

Months. It’s been months since I’ve really written a pertinent blog and it is ironic that it is at the same exact location that I wrote the last one in which I’m writing this one. I’m home. Home.

Ha…and even that is perspective. My 2nd home.

Back here not because of choice, but of necessity. A funeral, a death. Family. That bond will never die and I’m here for support.

But in between all of that has happen, in between all of these few months since my last rambling, life went on. My life went on as usual. Good things, bad things, and mundane things.

The typical life that I usually lead.

It just seems eerily funny that bad things happen in threes. I’m still waiting for the third.

The first was Blair, my IT director, my boss. He’s currently in a coma and it’s not looking good. It’s so sad and my thoughts wander to him and his family often. The second, my aunt. Another sad story. Third? I’m still waiting for it. I just don’t know, that anticipation of the BOMB going off. Who it is going to be? Me? One of my friends? When? I don’t know. It’s just a waiting game.

It’s just sad.

In a way, it makes you reevaluate life. You kind of have to, seeing how unpredictable life is. You really don’t know when your last day here is. Makes you want to live your life to the fullest every day. Every damn day.

But sometimes it just makes you live your life the way you do, because in a way, for the most part, that’s the way you’ve chosen for yourself. That’s life for you.

How I live my life is my choice. My general seclusion with the public. My hermit ways. My lack of socializing at times to my bouts of mingling here and there. It’s how I want it. Just a lil bit of this and that. That’s perfect for me. Just a small dose so I don’t over dose and get gone from it.

My life.

I don’t regret the things I’m doing with my life. Not one bit. I’m doing something I enjoy, I’m living a life I don’t mind living. I’m not sad about where I am in my life. Life. It goes on. It is what it is and it is what you make of it.

You take whatever opportunities you have and make the best of it. You make whatever decisions you see fit, making the choices you know you can live with and not kick yourself for it, and live with it.

Sure, shit will happen. That’s one thing that is a sure thing, like death and taxes, shit will happen. SHIT. And it is this shit that spice things up, it makes you a stronger person, to persevere and make you stronger. Shit.

One just has to realize and see it that way. It’s how life is. Life’s shit, deal with it. I’ve been living with that motto for some time now.

Make the best of it. Sure a lot of shit happens, but there are good things.

Traveling and exploring.

It’ll put a smile upon my face like no other. Wanderlusting, going wherever my feet and legs can take me. Oh, how I love to travel and explore, seeing new things. Just being somewhere I’ve never been.

Once in a while, you’ll get that opportunity, I’ll get that opportunity, and I milk it for what it is. A vacation.

I was sent to the east coast a few weeks earlier for work, setting up the Moorestown and the Boston regions. Work was work, whatever, but the loving opportunity to explore cities I’ve never been and to actually meet the people I’ve been helping from those regions, it’s nice. Lovely, beautiful.

Boston. A beautiful city. Laid back. Chill. Pedestrian friendly. I can totally see myself there. I just love the laid back nature of the town, there’s this vibe of just chill and relax. The vibe is totally different than that of Los Angeles, the concrete gray of steely cold.

Philly. I met up with family, but the same thing when I went exploring. A beautiful city. Laid back. Chill. Pedestrian friendly. Well, I have to admit that I went to the nice part of the city, but still, a lovely place.

I get it. I understand it now. The so called “East Coast” vibe. There’s something to it. Something that I can totally get behind. I get it. That unpretentious, genuine, live-the-life, take-it-slow, chill and relax attitude. Totally not the hustle and bustle that I thought it would be, solely basing it on what I’ve seen of NYC.

But ultimately my kind of place.

The NE is just oozing with an abundance of beautiful architecture and history. America’s forefathers lived there. That’s where the country started.

It’s sad to walk around the city and just being in awe with the breathtaking architecture. I’m jealous. We don’t have that here. Times had changed dramatically when the west coast started.

Sigh.

I’ve been ranting about the parks on the east coast. There are just so many parks there. Just small simple parks that just have trees, grass, and park benches. There are no baseball fields, soccer fields, tennis courts. Just a simple park. No more, no less. Just a park.

There are some down in LA, but not many. You’ll have to go searching for it. Most parks I’ve noticed were the big combo parks. There’s just something about those that rub me the wrong way.

The simplicity of life. A simple park. Grass. Trees. Benches.

Sigh.

Wanderlusting.

The insignificance of life, realizing how small one is. It’s humbling to really see that there is something bigger out there. It puts things into perspective.

It happened to me before a few years ago. Just standing on top of Yosemite Falls and looking out into the valley and just taking it all in. A majestic beauty, speechless, in awe. I was blown away by the beauty, brining tears to my eyes.

I was small and insignificant. Humbling, but a moment I will never forget. That image of the Yosemite Valley will be with me forever.

It happened again at the just amazingly beautiful Grand Canyon.

It’s beyond words. Beyond anything that my vocabulary can capture.

There’s something bigger out there than my little mundane life, with whatever issues I thought were huge issues. It is just small compared to the actual world. It puts everything into perspective.

No problems will ever be so big that will make me not appreciate the beauty that is this world. It’s a very beautiful, marvelous, majestic, amazing, and any other schmoozing adjective there is in the English and other languages.

I’m just happy and grateful that I can actually be a part of it, see it, appreciate it, and enjoy it. There’s no joy to me than that.

None right now. None.

I do not regret anything in my life, no more. I can’t change anything, so why think about it.

I’m just taking my slow-ass time, and taking life and any opportunities I can get and just doing what I enjoy doing. Spending my times alone, socializing with friends, meeting new people from time to time, doing my writing, spending time with my son Pickles, traveling, and the list goes on.

Life.

Perspective.

Life.

Perspective.

Sigh.

Just being there and looking out at the Canyon and just looking at it. I was not bored at all. Just looking out and seeing how big it is and having my son there with me. Seeing that he enjoyed the vacation, albeit he was wiped out tired and got hurt, but he enjoyed it. I LOVED LOVED LOVED spending that vacation with him. I don’t regret bringing him there.

I love my son. I love my life.

Ahhh…

My trips, my road trips, my vacations, my little excursions.

I’m a very fortunate guy. I’m at a really great moment in my life and there is nothing, nothing, I can complain about.

Nothing at all.

I have a roof over my head. I have a job that I actually enjoy for once in my life. I have a loving son. I have a great group of friends who understands me and understand my quirks. I have a loving family. I still have the ability to walk, to hike, to go places. I have the opportunity to travel.

My life is good. My life is great.

There’s nothing to complain about, nothing at all.

Things are just falling into place.

For a long long time, life was just not fun, unbearable at times.

But with age, experience, a lot of patience, and whatever therapy that works (for me, my writing, blogging, ranting), you learn to let go, you understand what life is.

Life is the culmination of what you’ve gone through in your life, a culmination of all the decisions that you’ve made and everything that you’ve gone through. It is the ability to learn and grow, the ability to let things go; realizing that you can’t change anything in the past and the future is just too far away to see. It is accepting who you are, where you are, what you’ve been through, being okay with everything and just go on ticking. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Don’t let life worry you. Just understand that life is an unpredictable roller coaster.

Looking ahead, all I see is an empty twisty road taking me to places unknown, and I’m giddy to know where it is going to take me.

It’s a canvas filled with all of these strokes that I’ve made in my life and I keep adding and adding strokes to the canvas as my life goes on. As of now, I can’t make out what it is that I’m painting. It’s not even close to being finished, it’s an unfinished abstract piece of art, a work-in-progress, just waiting for me to add more and more brush strokes to it, and this masterpiece of life won’t be finished and understood until I have breathed my last breath or air.