Here we go.
Break.
Officially on break and I’m here in my usual spot typing away.
No home home this year.
Just home this year, again.
Here we go.
Here’s the start.
It’s another end of the year, so here’s my bah humbug to all.
2019.
Let’s count it down.
* * *
Where to start? Where to go?
Let’s get it going with the general.
2019.
How was it?
Was it the shit show like the past two years? Better? Somewhere in between?
2019 definitely was leaps and bounds better than the last two years.
Everything was manageable.
No catastrophes or emergencies.
There weren’t kitty mishaps or major doggy mishaps.
We all are healthy but just a little bit older.
Bless us all.
Life was a manageable status quo of working and living and living and working.
I got some time off with nature and travel in between and some wine too.
Not too shabby.
Not too shabby at all.
2019.
Thank you.
You were a much-needed break from the hell hole the past two years were.
It was a great reprieve.
* * *
2019.
A blur like any other year.
Days and months all melt into each other.
It’s hard to remember what happened throughout the year.
But I do remember that it started with a death.
Great Uncle.
He passed early in January and his one-year memorial is on Christmas Eve and Day.
I’ll be here for that. One of the reasons why I’m not home this year for Christmas. Another reason is that I just saw family back in September.
I do feel a little guilty that I haven’t been going over and visiting uncle and his family in the past few years, especially during Thanksgiving and other get togethers.
I made an effort this year. I don’t know why I stopped.
Probably because I needed my space and time and it started with me dog sitting and it just felt so great being home and not having to go out there.
It’s an excuse and I shouldn’t have any to visit family.
Hopefully, I’ll be better at visiting family next year.
2019.
No excuses.
* * *
Family.
Family is good.
Besides Great Uncle, no other deaths this year or no other emergencies that I’m aware of.
There were a few births this year too.
Loretta had a daughter a few weeks ago. Mya Chi was born just a few weeks ago.
Nancy had Connor a few months ago and I’m sure there are others that I’m not aware of.
Who knows?
There are engagements too. Little cousin got engaged to his longtime girlfriend and they bought a house together.
Things seem to be looking up for family and I’m happy for them.
Mom is doing well as she’s getting older. She tires out easier now as one of my gripes during our Spanish vacation. Hopefully, she’ll get some exercise in the new year though.
Bro is bro. He’s fine.
No news is good news when it comes to him. I honestly don’t know what’s he’s up to or what he does. As long as I don’t get any bad news, I’m happy for him.
So, 2019, thank you for treating my family so well for the most part.
Let’s bring more of it in 2020.
* * *
2019.
Work.
As I stated above, work this year has been much better than the past few years.
Manageable.
More balance.
More control.
I’m still torn between two big projects along with all my other little things and help desk things that I do, but my focus is on the SharePoint Migration (again) and the Media Database Project.
Both have their issues, and both have their successes and they are both manageable.
I got a bulk of the important data for clients over to their new locations and when the new year comes, it’s the rest of the data. All departmental data. It’s going to be fun.
The database is up and running, ingesting new data as we got a new Project Lead for the whole agency dashboard initiative. Hopefully, I’ll move everything over to them and be done with it.
I’m working with the team to get the logistics down because I helped the current analytics database up and running. I understand some of the logistics of where the data is coming from and how.
The next big step for me is to start crunching the data and figuring out how to get the necessary reporting that I need to do for planning and MOM.
I’m looking forward to it. I’m excited about it.
It’s phase 2 of this fucking big as project that has spanned almost 2 years. I’m glad that I’ve gotten as far as I’ve come, and it’ll just be more to come.
If I can get this right and good, it’ll be beneficial to the agency and my skills and knowledge.
Growth.
It’s all about growing and learning new skills.
Growth.
2019.
It’s was a trying year, but another growing year.
I’m glad I was able to find some semblance of balance and control.
2020.
Let’s get this shit done.
Let’s own this shit.
Work.
Bring it.
More growth.
More knowledge.
More skills.
More control.
More balance.
* * *
Travel.
2019.
Travel was a little different this year.
Given the way things are going with the Agency and business in general, there weren’t any trips for work.
That’s good, I guess.
I don’t know when exactly I started to do this. Maybe it was last year or possibly sometime this year after my special weekend trip, I took extended weekends to go hiking as a mental health break from work.
Maybe it was probably an inspiration from my little special week last year where I went to the Muir Woods to do some hiking and then did a day or two in Napa wine tasting.
It’s definitely a good mix of doing a few things I like. Hike and then wine tasting and good food.
This year was no different.
There were many little small trips this year. It’s not as much as a few years ago when I traveled almost every month, but it was every few months.
2019.
Traveling started this year with my special week trip. Instead of a weekend, I made it a week. I decided to fly out to Phoenix and then drive to Sedona for the week.
I wanted to do some hiking in Sedona ever since I drove through it a few years ago.
It was an amazing trip with a lot of great hiking and some good food.
While I was out in Sedona, I made a side trip to Petrified Forest National Park.
It was another park to cross off the list.
Not what I was expecting, but it was worth seeing. Definitely didn’t enjoy the drive through the freak snowstorm though. Interesting times.
Other people collect stamps, coins, and I collect highways and National Parks.
I would love to go back and find more hiking trails and visit the Vortexes again.
Maybe that’s the turning point of my balance for everything this year. Who knows?
The mystical power of the vortexes?
Ohhh…magical.
Then a few months later was my non-Vegas Vegas trip.
It was when I started to get need to get away every couple of months for my mental health. I needed to go hiking, not think, meditate with nature in the only way I know how.
There wasn’t much hiking out there, but there were some decent ones.
Overall it was a great trip, getting away and at night, I got to walk the strip to work off any food that I ate. Good food and great hiking.
That’s life.
Life.
The next trip was another mental health break weekend. This one included wine as I drove up to Solvang and Santa Ynes and did some hiking in Santa Barbara.
My only big trip this past year was the Spain trip with the family. It was great to get away from everything and work and see more of the world. Spain was great. Great food. The weather could have been better, but hey, I can’t complain. I went to Spain.
The last trip that I made was another mental health trip, Paso Robles and hiking.
There were a few good hiking options in Central California and I need to find more. I had a great time hiking Montana de Orro State Park and walking the bluffs of the California coast.
So beautiful.
Humbling.
Will I do another trip before the end of the year?
I don’t know. I don’t have anything planned as I’m trying to relax too.
Pickles is in boarding now for a few days for Great Uncle’s memorial. I’m sure I could extend it and try to go somewhere, but probably not.
Wanderlust.
Getting away.
Exploring.
My life.
I’m thinking about where to go next year.
Definitely will want more mental health breaks of hiking and possibly wine tasting. I’m sure I’ll have to fit a few of them in next year.
I need to go visit 7th Uncle and maybe in the next month or two since we get MLK and President’s day off. I’ll make a long weekend of it.
I already book my special weekend trip for next year. I’m going home for Qing Ming and then flying off to my Beloved Chicago for a few days.
After that, I don’t know.
I’m thinking of doing a longer Iceland trip.
Who knows?
But I know I want to travel more.
2019.
You’ve been a great year for traveling.
You’ve brought on new kind of trip that I’ll plan time and time again.
2019.
Thank you.
2020.
Bring it.
* * *
2019.
Social.
What social?
I’m still me.
2019.
It’s a continuation of Year of Phong. It seems that all my years will be another continuation of Year of Phong.
There weren’t many outings this year compared to other years.
I wasn’t invited to much of anything at work.
Again, with how the state of the industry is going, many of the coworkers I tend to go out with left.
But overall, I thought it was a good year on the social front.
Sure there weren’t many outings, not that I mind anyway, but I did manage to go out and socialize.
I did manage to do karaoke too that isn’t in a Karaoke Room.
Socializing gets easier.
Every year.
Easier.
It comes with age. It comes with whatever building confidence that I have.
It comes with not giving a fuck.
Time.
Socializing.
I do still have my moments of not wanting to do anything or wanting to hang out.
It’s in my nature to be alone.
Solitude.
It’s bliss.
So true for me.
Even with all of this, I’m still single.
Same reasons as normal.
Too afraid to act.
Too unsure if I want it.
I just don’t know.
I know there’s a part of it where it is just me.
But the uncertainty comes from me not knowing if girls even are interested.
All I know are girls from work and that’s difficult.
Difficult indeed.
Some of the difficulties come those I already know and then there are those that I just met or chatted with this year.
There’s one that came out of the blue and she’s been friendly with me recently.
She seems very cool, into art, into hiking, travel, and seems very independent. Seems like she travels alone from time to time also.
Sexy.
That’s one of the sexiest things, ever.
Snowden.
I just don’t know if she’s being friendly, or if she only hits me up because she needed help for her work.
I’m going to take it for what it is, she’s being nice and friendly and social.
No more.
No less.
There’s another that I just have no fucking clue about and I’m sure that I fucked things up.
Just intimidated.
Who knows?
Samwise.
No idea.
Either way, they all seem so cool and just so…..beyond me.
I’ll just settle for the attention I’m getting and be appreciative of that.
Be open.
Be free.
Things could be worse.
2019.
Such the social butterfly.
I’m the social one of the group.
I’m making an effort and practice makes perfect.
Thank you for the practice.
2020.
More practice please.
* * *
2019.
Projects.
*Day 2. Took a few days off during the actual holidays, but now I’m back at it.
Projects.
Projects.
2019.
I have 3 projects this year and there was just one that I really was interested in and focused on.
I finished all three, but without some half-assedness per usual.
The first one is another picture-a-day project. I haven’t missed a day yet and there’s just a few more days left.
Some of the pictures were inspired, others were not. Others were just snaps just to get something done.
It’ll be a few more years before I do another one of these.
Maybe.
The other is a cooking project. The only rule is that it had to be something that I never made before. I was very flexible in this interpretation. Wasn’t strict as I was in other years.
Instead of going 30, I opted to do only 15 and I just squeaked passed it.
I ended up with 16 now. I might add another with the Portuguese Egg Tarts.
I ended it with dessert. Pies to be specific. It’s a little cheat, but I truly never made a pumpkin nor a pecan pie before, so I’m counting it.
The last project was my Fine Arts project. Or more digital art project.
I went well over my allotted 10 painting this year. I added a few sketches and just free art in there. No rules, no restrictions.
I wanted 10 and currently I am at 28.
Many of them were just experiments that I opted to post and others were actual things that I wanted to print.
Looking at the span of different things, there were definite improvements in my artwork.
I think I’ll add one more to my bunch of artworks for the project and do another Bob Ross painting as a comparison. I won’t be a true comparison since I’ll be using a different app for it, but I think it’ll be fine in terms of techniques and such.
Here’s hoping.
I’m still learning. I’m trying to let go and just present my art out there. I think that’s one of the reasons why I’m willing to post some of the work that were just sketches and whatever. I need to be able to let go and be comfortable with it and having it look like shit.
I got a compliment from Paula that she really liked the last couple that I posted that were just sketches and nothing really painted. They were different. They were not “good” in my opinion, but they were something.
2019.
I had a lot of projects to keep my mind busy. I had many projects to help me Zen out and focus on something other than work. They were creative projects that worked that part of my brain since I’m always overworking the other part of my brain.
Balance.
Harmony.
I’m not going to go that far.
I’m okay with…balance.
2020.
I know for sure I’m continuing my art project. I haven’t decided on the specifics yet or the actual number of pieces that I’ll need to create, but I do have some ideas.
Grand canal of Venice. – maybe from one of my pictures????
A min number of still lifes
A min number of repaint/interpretations of the same painting – las meninas Picasso
Landscapes in different styles
A min number of portraits- different styles??
A min number of free art – anything goes???
It’ll be a mixture of the following prompts. Little goals. Little projects that add up to a larger one. Little projects that will help me refine my new skills and get better.
Here’s hoping that I finish.
I think the most difficult one would be the repainting/reinterpretation of an existing painting. I need to decide which one to go with.
Projects.
2020.
Writing.
Besides this little void of mine, I haven’t done any writing in years.
Creative writing? Blah!
I want to get back. I want to finish my last script idea. Maybe at least get started on it or a rough rough first draft of the Christmas Movie idea.
I still need to flesh things out and work out the story and possibly more research, but I want to do it.
Let’s do it.
Photography.
Maybe.
Possibly.
I want to finish shooting all the film that I have. They’re all expired, but I need to shoot them.
It’ll definitely force me to really think about the shots that I’m shooting. Be more selective.
I just need to figure out how I’m going to do it since I rarely ever go the fuck out to do anything worthwhile.
Maybe that’ll push me to be more outgoing next year. Who the fuck knows?
Cooking?
No. Probably not. I’ll still cook to meditate and possibly cook things from my list of cooking ideas, but I won’t document and make it an official project.
No pressure and besides, it’ll push me in future years when I do do another cooking project and I can’t cook those dishes anymore.
Three projects.
2020.
Let’s do this.
Let me ever grow and ever learn from these projects.
Let me be fruitful in my creativity.
Bring it.
* * *
2019.
Health.
There were not big health scares this past year.
I do feel my body getting old. Aching. Hurting.
All comes with growing old, I guess, plus not working out.
Maybe I’ll get back to working out next year, or at least do a weekly Yoga routine and something else to get my heart pumping besides my hiking trips.
Anything active I done this past year was my hiking trips.
Sure, I still do my 8-9-mile walking days at work, but besides that, not much else in terms of exercise.
I feel healthy, or at least I think I’m healthy.
My diet hasn’t been the best as I opted to eat out more this year than any year prior. Hopefully, I can get back to cooking like I normally do instead of ordering out.
I should be getting my annual in the next month or two. I’m hope my cholesterol isn’t too high.
I think there might be a slight tick up with all the shit that I’ve been eating. Who knows?
2020.
Be better.
Eat better.
Be more active.
Let’s hope?
At least fucking stretch more.
* * *
2019.
School.
Continuing education.
Sigh.
I didn’t do much of it.
Not much at all.
I thought I’d be very gung-ho about it since everything that happened last year, but work got in the way.
Laziness got in the way.
Will I find some classes that help me expand my skill set with work and such? I’m hoping.
Possibly.
Who knows?
2020.
Let’s be better.
* * *
2019.
You were a decent year.
Looking back, there weren’t anything life changing, but just the normal ebbs and flows of life.
I guess that’s good since most everything is status quo.
I think I’ll take a year like this over a shitty year like the past couple of years in my life.
Let’s hope that it’s a start to a new trajectory in my life, of shit finally settling down and getting if not better, just being okay.
2019.
Thank you for everything and for shaping up to being manageable.
2019.
Thank you for making life bearable again.
2019.
Thank you.
With that, I bid you adieu.
2020.
Bring it.
Mumblings of a Hermit 隐者 