Well, my two-week vacation is about half over and I haven’t really done shit this trip.

Why?

I’ve been sick.

I’m still a little sick.

My body is still tired. My nose is still sniffly.

I hate being sick.

Being sick as an adult takes forever to get over. You are fucking knocked out for days on out. I don’t have youth on my side anymore, able to bounce back after a day or two.

It’s now a week long affair.

Ahhh, something to get use to, I guess.

But yes, vacation is about half over and I haven’t done anything.

I think in a way, it is a good thing because that means I’m resting, or resting as best as I can because the biggest part of my trip is coming up tomorrow.

Banff.

That’ll be the next four days and I guess I’ll need to rest up for the drive and the hikes.

I sure don’t want to be sick for that. I can be sick and dead after, because I don’t want to miss it.

So, what have I been doing with my downtime up here?

Well, for the most part, the beginning of it was mostly family. I had the wedding and then aunts over at the house, so I just chilled with them and my mom for a bit.

I went out a little bit with my bro for a food truck festival in downtown Tacoma. But then, on Monday, I got sick.

I was fighting it. My throat was hurting. My eyes were tired. My body ache. Classic signs of a cold.

I had to rest. I needed sleep.

I think I got it from 5th Auntie. She was sick the first night that I got here. Booo.

But all in all, it was great seeing family again.

As always with any trip I do up here, it’ll always be a family affair.

Besides being with family, the rest of the time was just sleeping. I needed it.

I napped. Woke up and walked Pickles and then napped again and just laid on the couch and watch tv.

I kept it simple.

* * *

On Wednesday night I hung out with the kids, Cloud and Sinh. We went to a local dive bar in Downtown Tacoma. Zodiac Supper Club.

I didn’t know what to expect. Going by the pictures, I thought it was like a restaurant type thing, because they do a weird thing where you cook your own protein. Whether it is a steak or a burger or whatever, they give you all the fixings and your raw protein and you cook it on the grill at the front of the bar.

So, when I went in, it was half empty, but just like six people at the bar and a group of early twenties outside the bar and it was a no frills whatever bar. Divey. My kind of bar. Music was blasting on the jukebox and it wasn’t bad.

I got my Jameson neat, found a table and just chilled, going through the news feed on my phone and waited for the kids. I showed up about 40 minutes early because I just wanted some alone time to unwind and build myself for socializing and to just people watch and just to have a peaceful time alone, not with Pickles and not with my bro.

Overall, it was nice.

It was just good getting drinks with the kids, my second time with Cloud and first time with Sinh. It was just great catching up on their lives and just getting to know them better and just talk.

We talked about life, about Cloud’s QLC and millennial entitlement and paying your dues.

Sinh seems to get it, but let’s see how it goes when he gets out of college. I’m very curious.

We’ll probably going to do it again before I leave, once Sinh gets back from Cali. Gonna go to a brewery and do some beer tasting. I think it is more of a time to get Sinh use to beer and other types of alcohol. He’s still young. He likes the light lagers, the blondes.

I do have to say, I was good with my alcohol this time. I took my time, sipping and I had water with it too. I was proud of myself. It’s really time to adult when it comes to certain things.

Adulting is life.

I’m looking forward to it, hanging out with the kids again. It’s funny that out of everyone in my family, especially with all my cousins that I grew up with, it’s these new kids that I grow to have a good relationship with.

Maybe in a way, I’m a little envious of them, having that type of freedom at such a young age. I never had that type of freedom at that age. Maybe it’s because they are able to embrace their American freedom at such a young age and I was too tied into my Chineseness. Who knows, but just a little envious.

Just a little.

* * *

Yesterday was the first day that I felt well enough to leave the house and to venture out and explore. I didn’t do much of anything new. I went down to Ruston Way and just walked the waterfront with Pickles, hitting pokestops along the way, loading up on pokeballs. I’m out.

I got a lot of different Pokémons though, that’s a good thing, but it was great getting out of the house. Get some fresh air and I’m sure Pickles appreciated it also, but man, does he look old and tired.

Ahhh, such an old dog. I love him so much.

He still tests my patience though, but he’s such a great dog none the less.

Then we just drove around Tacoma and got lost. I had no fucking idea where I was going. I thought I remember, but seriously, 15 years is a long time to be away from the city you grew up with. So much has changed in these years, that it is tough to remember much of anything when so much has changed and developed.

Tacoma gets more and more unrecognizable each time I visit and explore.

Time.

Time’s a bitch, constant change with each ticking second.

That’s growth and I guess it applies to destruction too.

I guess it all depends, but things sure look different.

Very different.

Here I am again.

After a long year and a half absence, I’m back at home – home home.

I’m back at my usual writing spot, the Asensio, putting my thoughts onto page like I haven’t been away for such a long time.

I still can’t believe that the last time I was home was back during Christmas break 2014.

It definitely was a much needed break since last year was just a wave of traveling for work, flying across the country and no real vacation for myself.

Again, just two trips last year. Just two trips, that I remember.

Well, there were smaller trips between those trips, wedding trips, so they don’t really count.

And also, I guess, besides visiting family there really wasn’t a reason for me to be back. This year, I came back because I had a wedding to go to, Michael’s, and since I had to come back, might as well make a trip out of it.

I’ve always talked about how I wanted to do Banff, and so fuck it, I’m doing Banff.

But, overall, it was great seeing family again, especially some family I haven’t seen in years. Definitely a great time to see them all and catch up, for the most part.

* * *

This is my second full day here. Got into town Friday afternoon after a long drive from Sacramento and it was pretty much nonstop since then.

I had a small reprieve yesterday afternoon as I came back after dropping Sister and Fu off at Uncle’s and my bro wasn’t home, so I just chilled, surf the net, watched some trailers and took a much needed nap.

I didn’t sleep well the night before. Maybe I was still wired in a sense from the drive, or maybe it was cold and not comfortable on that damn air bed at all, but I didn’t sleep well.

Slept on the couch last night. So much fucking better.

Had an interesting dream last night. HH was in it and it seemed like we were on a date. Not really sure, but overall, pleasant dream.

But, I have a long long couple of weeks ahead of me and I’m just going to take my time and relax and just chill. Family will still be in town for the next day or two and I’m just going to go with the flow before I start going solo.

I still don’t know what my mom’s schedule is like, so playing it by ear is the best approach.

* * *

So, pretty much everyone is still sleeping. Lo and behold, the sun came up and starting around 5 in the morning, I couldn’t get back to sleep and Pickles was getting antsy. I’m sure he was pretty hungry or his ass needed to pee, but when he saw me stirring, he was like..yessss the asshole is waking up.

But, up-and-at-em at around 6 in the morning, out for a long 4 mile walk with Pickles, catching some Pokémon and came back they were all still asleep around 7:30 or 8 in the morning.

So, here I am.

As one can see, I don’t have the usual vibe in my writing anymore. Still have no idea why, but it’s something.

Maybe I can’t focus? Maybe I’m getting old? Maybe it’s just something else and I’m over this whole writing thing.

No idea. I don’t know. I know there’s still love in writing and creating in me. There is.

I love stories. I love narrative.

I’m just in a creative rut or I’m just in something that is preventing me from focusing and what not.

A break is good. Focus on something else.

Maybe something will come out of this whole Sorkin Master Class thing.

Maybe. Just maybe.

We shall see.

My mantra.

* * *

Slow day.

My last weekend in town before I drive up to my home home winds down and it’s been quite slow. Slow days.

I had to run some errands for mom yesterday, buying logan meat for mom and so I decided to just take the Expo Line down to DTLA and explore Grand Central Market and then go to Chinatown and get what mom wanted.

I did just that.

I spent a few hours at GCM, having a nose-to-tail breakfast and then just sitting at the hipster coffee bar sipping on some espresso and sparkling tea and then a nice frothy cappuccino.

It was nice. It was serene. I wasn’t really rushing to get anywhere, enjoying my time sipping the coffee, reading whatever news that came up on my phone and reading some pages on the book I’m currently reading.

Slow down.

Slow day.

That’s one of the things I’m trying to get better at in my life, to just slow down. I tend to rush everywhere, in terms of how fast I walk and wanting to get to my destination.

I usually just go with the flow for the most part, but yeah, rush rush rush.

Slow down.

Slow day.

I walked over to Chinatown, exploring, walking, with no time constraints, re-treading on familiar ground that grown unfamiliar from the not having been to Chinatown in years. It was just great getting reacquainted with it again, but it was also sad. Many stores are being priced out of the location and either moved or just flat out closed.

Very sad indeed as we see the tell-tale signs of gentrification with new condos and new western/hipster restaurants popping up around the area.

Sad. Sad indeed.

Chinatown was on its slow death years ago and I’m assuming it will finally meet its end soon as more and more businesses are moving east towards the new Chinatown of San Gabriel Valley and Monterey Park; the 626.

Plazas emptied. Stores closed and shuttered. It’s a sad state of affairs in Chinatown.

The big Wing Hop Fung shut down and moved to Alameda and San Gabriel.

I found another herb shop across the street and had short convo in Canto with the Auntie that ran the shop. She called me good looking. Liang jay. Hahhaa. Too funny.

She’s one of us – a Vietnamese – Chinese Immigrant.

There are a lot of us in the world. A lot.

I ended up getting a roast duck and some pork for dinner and hiked it on the train and went home.

I do have to say, even though it would have taken me less time if I drove down to dtla and Chinatown, it was worth it taking the train, even though I stood the whole time on the way back.

It was just easier. Don’t have to worry about traffic and slow ass people and crazy LA drivers.

Plus, it was cheaper, even if I did have to pay my own way. It’ll just be about $3.50 and if I drove, I would have to pay for parking at both Grand Central Market and Chinatown.

Worth it worth it.

Today, would be a slow day.

Relaxing and getting my brain in shape as I mull over what I need to do for Leslie and her Loaner Tap card history page.

I think I may have gotten it down, but I just have to think about it some more.

Slow day.

I hurt.

I ache.

I’m tired.

I don’t know if that last one is just related to being old or the health issues I think I’m going through or I’m just tired from my lack of sleep and just have no energy, but fuck man, all in all, getting old sucks.

In the grand scale of things, I’m not too old. 37. I’m just 37. Not really that old at all, but fuck man, I’m like falling apart.

I slept late on Saturday night, like an hour or two past my bedtime finishing up the bread making and then woke up around my usual time that my circadian rhythm thinks is right for me to wake up and that was about it. 5 hours. Just about five hours of sleep and that just fucked me up all day yesterday and I’m still feeling it today even though I went to bed close to my bedtime.

Getting old sucks.

I’m damn sure I can get out of this little physical rut if I just treat my body a little better. Eat better and more often. Fuck, maybe even just eating a little more. Eating more calories so I have more energy to burn.

Exercise! Nah, who am I kidding, exerting that much force, though good for me, is just too much to ask for.

Eventually, I know when push comes to shove, it’ll happen. Maybe.

Who knows?

Who knows indeed.

But yeah, at the bbq yesterday at uncle’s, my knee just started to hurt. It was aching and it was just sore.

I didn’t understand why. I didn’t know why. I just know that it was fucking with me pretty bad and I was tired and I wanted to go home.

Thankfully, but not really, someone was setting off massive m80s around the neighborhood and Pickles fucking flipped out. He got scared and just wanted to get the fuck out of there, wanted to get back home, to safety.

He kept going inside the house and wanted to find a nice quiet place to hide when I didn’t want him to go upstairs, afraid that he might just relieve himself somewhere. That’s the last thing I want to happen at uncle’s place, Pickles peeing and shitting himself INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE.

Nope. Nope indeed.

With him outside with everyone, his tail tucked between his hind legs, I knew it was just time for him to go home.

So, we left and I came back, did my business, wind down for bed and fell asleep around 10: 30 and I feel good, but still tired.

I don’t want to do anything today, and I don’t plan on doing much. Just walking Pickles and relaxing in front of the tv. I’m not even going to do any photos, which I should.

I say fuck it.

Just chill, relax, watch movies, youtube, and shows, and maybe surf the web and just cook dinner. I’ll do laundry and call it a fucking day.

Simple.

I just want simple. I love simple.

Simple is great. No headaches. No drama.

Simplicity is key.

Simple.

* * *

Obsessive.

Obsessing.

I know I have some OCD tendencies, like the whole knocking at doors/cubes/workspaces before entry and sometimes like stepping on cracks. It’s like a game almost and then it just builds to a compulsion from there.

I always obsess and think about a particular person even I know I fucking shouldn’t. She’s always on my mind and I don’t fucking understand why.

Actually a lot of girls are on my mind.

Actually, relationships, or the idea or thought of being in a relationship is on my mind when I know it really shouldn’t.

Blah.

I’m so over it. I’m so tired of my brain wasting so much time on it.

Blah indeed.

Just blah.

* * *

I’m scaring a little kid.

Well, more actually, I’m just sitting here doing my thing while this little boy is just checking me out, curious and we locked eyes and I’m staring him down.

He goes hide behind his mom.

I’m great.

Hahahaha. He just putz around doing whatever he’s doing to busy himself while the boba girls make their order and he looks over at my direction again. Eye contact. He stops what he’s doing and hides behind his mom.

I’m fucking great.

* * *

Patience.

I know I know, it’s the one thing I know I definitely have to work on.

I wrote about this in an earlier entry about how I need to be more patient in life and with people and things and time and all that fucking jazz.

Shit, I even wrote about that Chinese scroll that I have in my apartment.

But here’s something that I tell most people about why I hate people.

Patience. They just try my patience.

Many people don’t understand why I want kids or have pets when I just want to be alone, not wanting to be in a relationship etc etc.

It’s just because I have a lot more patience with kids, pets and animals, than I do with adults.

Kids and pets can’t fucking help it. They aren’t testing my patience because they are trying to piss me off. They just do it because they don’t understand or can’t communicate what they want. It’s in their nature to be that way. It’s how they learn.;

Adults. C’mon man. Fucking people. I have no patience for adults because they are fucking adults and should just fucking know better.

That’s basically the gist of why I have no patience for adults and most people. When I say I hate people, I mean fucking adults. They lack basic fundamental common sense and that generally pisses me off.

I mean, c’mon asshole/bitch/cunt, YOU SHOULD FUCKING KNOW BETTER.

Rant over.

* * *

It seems I’m just doing whatever I can to get away from writing or my more important creative writing.

I’m horrible. I need a better schedule. I just need to fucking do it and not treat it like a chore.

Remember that you actually enjoy creative writing? Don’t you remember?

You grew to love it.

What happened?

* * *

Maybe this would be a totally different rant on a totally different day of procrastination, but I’m just going to drop it here.

The world is fucking shit.

Every fucking day, something horrible happened in the world.

Another mass shooting. Another suicide bombing. Another hate crime.

The world is fucked. Our future is fucked.

Religion is fucked.

People is fucked.

No. I’m not becoming a Scientologist.

It’s just what came to mind when I needed a title or a subject to today’s post.

I’m still procrastinating on my weekly writing project, but to be fair, I opened up the latest story and reread what I wrote. I’m trying to familiarize myself with the narrative that I started.

I have it pictured in my head. What I want to do and what I want to say.

It’s a connected world.

I have decided that, these little prompts would all be within the same universe. Why not?

It should be interesting. It should be fun seeing other characters from other stories pop in and out of other narratives. We live in a busy and crowded world with many people in it. Why should everyone be so silo-ed (I had to look it up and the actual verb for the word is Isolate, but I wanted to say silo-ed) off from everyone else. We are all leads in our own story and supporting characters in others.

The world is a stage and we are all players goes the saying.

* * *

Things seem to be flowing a lot better. This brain fog fades away slowly brining clarity and focus in my mind. But unfortunately, I have to suffer some of the side-effects to my remedy.

Life. That’s how it goes. It’s never simple.

Never.

But I digress as I continue on with my finger tapping, working its strength up to par to my future writings, if I ever decide to get back on it. Focus. Focus.

FOCUS.

Things definitely seem easier. Reading is easier. Writing is easier. More flowy.

I like the flow. I need the flow. Mind to fingers without missing a beat. Mind to fingers without hesitation. Mind to fingers.

Tap tap tap tap.

Fingers tapping on keys. Keys makes words, sentences, paragraphs, thoughts.

Fingers. Keys.

Tap tap tap tap.

Things are definitely going clear. It’s just that I am a master procrastinator.

Procrastination is my life.

All I do is put off and wait.

I need a muse. I need motivation.

Tired. But hopefully things will get better.

I’m back on iron supplements. The brain fog and my general difficulties with focusing is really pissing me off. I had to jump back on it. It’s very frustrating for me to not be able to focus, concentrate, and just ingest what I’m listening to or reading.

Hopefully it doesn’t fuck with my stomach that much.

Speaking of which, the doctor, who I don’t think is a good one think I may have IBS. He told me to get some OTC probiotics and some fiber. So, that’s what I’m doing. The good thing is that I’m shitting better. Yay, I guess?

But man, this whole fatigue thing is really getting to me. Hopefully things will just be better. Hopefully all my stomach issues will be better as I try to figure out what I’m eating that may be causing my issues.

Progress? Who the fuck knows.

* * *

So, back to it, back to the grind, and man these past couple of weeks have been busy.

It’s just that we are in the progress of launching and pushing out new software and new tools to the agency and I’m heavily involved in the roll out. SharePoint training and site creation and OneDrive for Business and even Skype for Business. We are definitely making use of our Microsoft licenses. That’s a good thing, I guess, but yes, definitely very very busy.

I still have a lot of outstanding stuff to do, like getting back on creating the loaner database on SharePoint. I don’t even know if it is possible, but we shall see. New stuff, new learning curves.

* * *

I guess the iron supplements haven’t kicked in yet. Still a little unfocused on many things as so many things roll through my brain that I feel that I need to get to. So many.

Let’s focus and pare down to what I need to do. Finger tapping. Let’s do a little diddy…but oh wait, I need to check something.

Checked and let’s roll.

New section.

* * *

Yosemite.

Last weekend I continued on my little adventures for 2016 with another wilderness trip.

A refresher, it seems this year’s traveling them is hiking, nature, and California State/National Parks and it was time for Yosemite.

I don’t even remember the last time I was there. It was either 2009 or 2010 with my brother and it was definitely definitely time for me to go back.

It’s such a beautiful place, a magical place, full of beauty. But the shit thing about it is that it is always fucking crowded.

I kind of planned it about month or so ago, but didn’t really know exactly what I’ll be doing in terms of hiking and exploring.

It wasn’t until about a few days out that I had a definite plan of what I was going to do.

With the help of Ms. D I planned on doing the High Sierra Loop on Saturday and then just do something light and easy on Sunday before I head over to Fresno to visit family.

I’d meet up with Steve-O on Friday after he gets off of work and then on Monday, I’d go and explore Kings Canyon National Park a little.

It wasn’t until I was going to sleep the night before I was to leave that I found out that Obama was going to be in Yosemite the same weekend. I was fucked.

I love Obama and I think he’s great, but man, I wanted to go to Yosemite to get away from people and things and this was throwing a major wrench to my trip.

Steve recommended that I do the high country instead while Obama was in the valley and that’s what I did. I had to switch my plans around and for the most part, it worked out great.

So I rolled in to the Valley close to 1pm on Friday and was able to find some parking in a somewhat reasonable amount of time. I thought I had a lot of time before Steve-O left work, so I thought I was going to do the High Sierra Loop, but I opted not to. I didn’t really have that much time, so I just did the Valley Loop and worked my way to Mirror Lake instead.

I managed to meet up with Steve-O close to 5:30 and we just had some dinner and drinks and just caught up. It was great catching up and seeing him again. Around 7-ish Obama landed and we tried to make our way to him and back to my car, but the Park Rangers blocked us off. We took the long way around to get to my car and then that was it.

I drove out of the park and about the close to 2 hours back to my hotel, which was an Indian Casino. It wasn’t too bad, but the fucking cigarette smoke fucked me over.

Bright and early the next morning, it was on. I think I left the hotel close to 7. I didn’t even head into the Valley.

Tioga Pass or bust!

Yosemite High Country.

I never ventured there before. It was a great recommendation by Steve-O. I didn’t have much time to research it, so I just thought I’d wing it.

At first, I thought I’d find an early easy hike and I remembered Steve-O telling me that the hike to Yosemite Falls was an easy and short hike. So, that was on my agenda. I found the turnoff for Yosemite Creek. It was the wrong turn off.

I drove for about 30 minutes on an old busted narrow lane road that ended up at the campground. The hike to the falls from there was still a good 6+ miles. It was a bust. I slowly drove out and continued heading east on 120 Tioga Pass. No more than 10 minutes later I found the correct stop for the hike. That too was still a good 6+ mile to the Yosemite Falls viewpoint.

So, I just went on and on. I resigned myself to the fact that today would be more of a driving day than a hiking day and I was okay with that. I stopped at Olmstead Point and got a great view of the back of Half Dome. Not a bad view and then I saw off in the distance Tenaya Lake.

That was my next destination and that’s when things turn to shit.

* * *

Day 2.

Why? Because I was too focused on finding a braised pork shank recipe.

Distractions. Can’t focus.

Back and back.

Tenaya Lake.

Things were going great at Tenaya Lake. It was beautiful and the weather was just gorgeous. Not too hot. Not too cold. Perfect.

I decided to do the hike around the lake. It was a short easy 3 or so miles hike. Easy peasy. Great views and no hills to speak of. I took it easy, rested and enjoyed the views and got eaten by mosquitoes. I didn’t mind. I was in nature.

I didn’t even mind that I had to cross a river to get to the other side of the lake. I took off my shoes and plunged my legs into the cold water and wade my way across. Easy peasy. It was great. Brisk and fucking cold. Didn’t mind at all.

Until the end of the hike. I reached the end of the lake and was going back to the same path that I started so I can get to the parking lot. I sure could have followed Tioga Pass to get to my car, but I was like, nah, let’s follow the path. Follow the path.

Follow the path.

It’s the way.

I came across another creek I had to pass. But this time, it was only about 6 or so feet across. Short, right? But the bad thing was that I couldn’t see a way to cross. The only way that I saw was a small 4-inch-wide branch that didn’t seem sturdy, but that was the only way. I didn’t wander up or down the creek to see if there was another way. I was dead set on it. Follow the path. It’s the way.

Well, I say, fuck the path ’cause it fucked me over.

The first two steps were fine but then I lost my balance. I couldn’t get enough purchase on the branch to make a jump for it so I fell into the lake. I fell deep into Tenaya Lake. Not even the fucking lake, but a small creek that feeds into the lake.

So, my iPhone got wet along with my camera. There’s sand in my 28-70mm lens. It’s fucked. After a while the camera wouldn’t turn on at all. The lens wouldn’t focus because of the sand inside of the lens grinding.

I was fucked.

Sure I was pissed but then that went away. I was too cavalier. I was too impatient. I should have spent a little more time looking and when I got to the other side and walked up the creek a little I saw it. A wider plank and more shallow area. Fuck you Phong.

Just fuck you.

I got to the car and tried to dry off. Dried off my camera and my phone and took off my shoes and socks. Fuck you Phong.

The camera wouldn’t turn on but I still had to continue on. So I did.

I knew that there was some food around Tuolumne Meadows and that was the next destination. I drove by the meadows and went into the Visitor Center. Nothing there. I drove by the small grill and the tiny store and continued on. I turned off into the Lodge, but there wasn’t any food there. I made my way back to the grill and set my camera up on the dash board with the battery out so I can dry.

I had my burger and went back on my way. Camera still wouldn’t turn on. Fuck it.

Here’s where I’m thinking I’ll have to get another camera again. Money. More money, like I haven’t been spending a lot this year. But what to do? I love photography and it’s one of those things that I’ll want because I want it. Money. More money.

I got to my last destination as I passed up other great photography places because it wouldn’t turn on. I parked and tried my camera again. Nothing.

I let it sit in the car, drying while I did my hike up to Gaylor Peak and the Gaylor Lakes.

The hike wasn’t bad. Very steep and at high elevation. The air was a little thin but I managed.

There’s a hike down to the lakes at the bottom but there was snow up at the ridge and it covered the trail. Sure I could have made my way down, but after everything that happened, I wasn’t feeling up for it. Given the time, I thought I should just go back to the hotel instead and call it an early day. I knew I had a long day ahead.

So, I spent a little more time up at the top of the ridge taking pictures from my iPhone and then I made my way back down. I got into the car and tried my camera again. Still no go.

I drove back.

I hit the meadows again and wanted a proper picture of the meadow even if it is on my phone. I didn’t get one earlier and I decided to try my camera again and this time if fucking CAME BACK ALIVE!

Hallelujah! I was the happiest motherfucker alive at that moment. Didn’t have to spend any more money!

I snapped a few pictures and then I was off.

I got back to the hotel close to 5:30 and just chilled.

I got dinner at the Casino Buffet. Fucking disgusting and spendy. I should have heeded the yelp review.

* * *

Sunday was the big half day in Yosemite.

Obama was scheduled to leave that day and I don’t think he had any hikes or events planned, so the Valley shouldn’t be a clusterfuck.

I got up early and just drove and got to the trailhead close to 7:45.

The plan for the day was the High Sierra Loop via Four Mile Trail – Panoramic Trail – The Mist Trail. It was a hike of about 14 miles one way and then I have another 3 miles back to the car.

I started on up to Glacier Point via Four Mile Trail close to 8 in the morning. Going up wasn’t bad. Sure I had to stop a few times as my body started to loosen up and I got up to the top in about 2 hours.

Glacier Point was amazing. It was my first time up there. I’ve been to Yosemite so many times and I never stopped by. The good thing about Glacier Point is that you don’t really need to hike up there. There’s a parking lot up there which I always never take the road to. I made it a point to go visit it this time around. Definitely worth it.

After resting for about 15 minutes at Glacier Point, I headed onto the Panoramic Trail. There were spectacular views of Half Dome and Nevada and Vernal Falls. The Panoramic Trail is a rim trail that goes down and up along the rim of Yosemite Valley. It ends at the top of Nevada Falls. From there, one will have to take the Mist Trail down to Yosemite Valley.

There were spectacular views throughout the but most amazing was definitely the beginning of the hike with the view of Half Dome along with both falls. Breathtaking.

I rested for a good 10 minutes at the top of Nevada Falls before I started my way down. I know that Ms. D told me the last hour was stairs, but I really didn’t know what I was expecting.

The Mist Trail was fucking horrible. The stairs were fucking horrible. I almost turned my ankle and slipped and fell a few times. It also was very very crowded also. 2.5 miles of navigating rocky and sandy stairs and fucking people taking selfies. Sure, the views were spectacular, but man, I sure was bitching about it the whole time. My knees were fucking hating me that last hour.

But then 6.5 hours after I started, I finished the trail. It was just gorgeous. Majestic and then I have 3 more miles left to do to get back to my car. One more hour and that’s what I did.

Getting out of the park was a bitch, but it could have been worse. I was just happy to be sitting, out of my boots, and just chilling.

Overall Yosemite was just fucking awesome and I definitely need to make it a more regular trip. Next time I’ll definitely to plan more trips up in the high country. There’s just so much up there to explore and I definitely didn’t do much of that this trip. Next time.

Next time.

I managed to make it back to Fresno and met up with Sister and Gifu and the fam for dinner.

The next morning, I set off to Kings Canyon National Park after breakfast.

The drive there was great. Not too crowded and just a simple drive and when I got to Kings Canyon, my first destination was Hume Lake. By the time I got there, it was already fucking hot. I did a small hike. I did like a third of the lake and ended up at the Christian camp.

I snapped a few pictures and hiked it back to the car and that’s when I started the drive through the Canyon. I believe this was the drive that Ms. D was raving about and it was beautiful. The canyon and the views, just amazing.

I reached Cedar Grove and checked out the visitor center and called it a day. It was getting late and I still had to drive back home to pick up Pickles before the vet closes. I would have loved to explored more of the park and maybe do the hike that Ms. D recommended, but next time.

Like Yosemite, next time.

Definitely, next time.

Now it is onto the next thing. The next vacay. The next trip. The next hike.

Banff.

Tired.

I can’t even focus on anything. I can’t put coherent thoughts together. I don’t think I’ll even post this little entry at all.

My mind is going through this whole unfocused thing again; this whole little brain fog.

I stopped taking my iron supplements because I think it is causing some stomach issues that I was having. I still have some of those issues, but it’s not as bad as it was. All that bloating and gas. I’m over it.

But, with the lack of iron, I can’t focus. I can’t put thoughts together. My mind wanders and I can’t do anything.

It sucks. I hate this feeling. I’m always tired too.

I need to find an alternative. I need to find a solution.

* * *

Day 2.

I didn’t do much writing yesterday while I was out and about. As you can see from above, it wasn’t much as I was distracted and still tired from the little cold that I’m dealing with earlier in the week.

I feel better and a little rested today.

What took most of my focus yesterday was me playing doctor and self-diagnosing myself. I’m trying to find a solution or a cause to my little gut problem (bloaty and gassy) along with the brain fog I’m experiencing now that I stopped taking my iron supplements.

I may have found a solution to my gut problem, and that may be canola oil. I’m going to stop using that and switch back to olive oil and might start using peanut oil and see how things go.

I do have to say that my gut feels a lot better than it did weeks ago, but I don’t know what else have changed. I’m still using canola oil in the food I’m cooking, so I have no idea what changed. It’s very weird and very frustrating.

If I really do have IBS, I may have to really focus on what is making me ill and cut it out. I don’t like to cut out food. It’s going to blow.

* * *

My Yosemite trip is fast approaching. Friday.

Friday can’t come fast enough. Just four short days at work, doing whatever that needs to be done and then we are off and good to go to explore. I can’t wait.

I’m looking forward to the short break. I’m always looking forward to the short break.

Short breaks are awesome. I think this is the first time that I had so many short trips planned. I’ve been traveling at least once a month since April and it is great.

I love it. It definitely makes the year go by faster. A lot faster.

I think for the most part, I have my trip planned in terms of what I’m going to do and where I’m going to explore.

I’ll get up there about midafternoon on Friday and I’ll just take it easy and maybe meet up with Steve for drinks. Saturday will be the big day. The High Sierra Loop. It’s about a 14-mile hike and I’m estimating it’ll take me about 4-5 hours and that still leaves me quite a lot of time left to explore. Maybe I’ll head out to Tuolumne Meadow and Hwy 120 to explore what’s out there. If not, then that’ll be a Sunday thing and then it is off to Fresno to spend a night with Sister and Gifu and their family.

Then, bright and early Monday morning it is off to Kings Canyon National Park to do some exploring. Nature.

It really does seem that this year is definitely the Year of Being One with Nature. It definitely is relaxing.

Once I get back, then it is planning for Banff and what’s out there.

Lake Louise. Lake Morraine. What else?

As for the rest of my time in the PNW, I’ll do what I usually do, some hiking with Pickles. Some visiting family and some exploring and just winging it.

Maggie’s wedding is in September and I’m already planning on spending a day or two in Tahoe to explore. I just need to figure out what my brother’s plan is in terms of where we are staying and I’ll work around that. I still haven’t decided on how many days I want to take off to explore and what not for that trip.

October is up in the air. My bro wants to do Vegas. An eating trip. I wouldn’t mind doing Chicago again. Just too expensive. So, up in the air and not committing to anything yet.

A lot of trips this year. Small trips. All vacations. No work.

I don’t understand how some people never plan or take trips of any kind, big or small. It just baffles my mind.

Don’t they want a break from work?

* * *

I think I pissed the Blox off with something I said about her mom.

I’m always pissing her off and people off with the things I said.

Tactless.

Always.

* * *

Now it seems that my distractions are coming back as I’m trying to figure out my stomach issues again. It could be that I need to go on a FODMAP diet.

https://dietingwell.com/low-fodmap-diet-meal-plan-menu/

Who knows? I just need to experiment more and keep tabs as to how I’m feeling after eating. We shall see.

Blah, my mind had been totally hijacked by trying to figure this shit out.

I’m still going through my fucking brain fog. That’ll be next.

Back at it again. Procrastinating.

I’m so behind on my writing projects that one of these days I’ll just have to suck it up and write at night at the Starbucks or just get off my ass and focus on the writing. I need to write, the plan, and make a damn dent on the project. So behind. So so behind.

Today is not one of those days that I will focus on my writing. Today is a finger tapping day. Me and my empty void, clearing my mind and honestly, I don’t think I have anything to say.

* * *

Going gray. Not naturally, but on purpose.

It seems to be a craze right now; girls are dyeing their hair gray. I saw this a few years ago when one of the Wong Fu crew dyed his hair gray, but thought really nothing of it, but then I saw it coming back with a force, now with girls.

It really struck me when I first saw my doppelganger at work with it. pvo had done it a few times and now it seems that the Hurry Curry girl did it.

It really seems like it is an Asian girl thing. Or maybe it is an all-girl thing and it just so happens that the only people that I saw doing it are Asian. I think that is more likely.

It’s a weird trend. I probably will not understand it, but that’s me not being a part of the zeitgeist and just not being cool. It is what it is.

* * *

Baking.

That’s where my focus has been. Baking bread to be exact.

Instead of doing commercial yeast baking, my thing now is using my own cultured yeast – sourdough starter, in which I named Cleofis, to help the bread rise.

I’ve been baking a lot, experiment, trying to get a confident feel of how to make bread and it definitely have been error after error.

I’ve tried rustic loaves, to baguettes, to white sandwich breads.

They all come with certain amount of success and many disappointments.

It’s very nuanced and requires a lot of time and I’m a little too impatient about it. The thing is, I don’t like the sour taste, so I want a fast rapid rise, but sometimes my apartment isn’t warm enough, so it isn’t conducive to a good rise, so I just rush it and just say fuck it and bake and it just turns out not so well.

Another thing I’m trying to learn is how to gauge my dough. I don’t know when it is too wet, too dry, or just right.

I follow the recipe, but to no avail, all the time it just seems too wet for me.

A high hydration dough is very tough to work with and I’m afraid to add more flour to it, which can throw off the consistency of the bread. The more flour, the denser the bread is.

What I learned is that the higher the hydration, the bigger the air holes are in the bread. But with higher hydrated dough, the tougher it is to form and knead the dough.

It’s a fine nuanced balance and I guess it is one of those things that just requires patience and doing and experimenting to get a good hand at it.

I honestly don’t understand why I have this high fascination with baking now, or more specifically bread baking. It just seems very random and out of nowhere.

I know I like to cook from scratch, mainly for health reasons, knowing specifically what goes into my body, but why bread?

Before, I don’t eat much bread. It isn’t a part of my diet. I’ll get bread when I want bread or if it goes well with what I’m cooking. It had never been a staple in my apartment or my diet.

But I guess I just needed something else to focus on and I think I can do it. There’s such a high learning curve to it that I’m just fascinated by it. It’s hard and challenging, and I’m guessing that is why my sudden interest in it.

I had a few successes and now it is time to be more proficient at it.

I think more than anything, that’s the biggest thing that I want to accomplish this year. Be better at baking. Have a better understanding about the whole process of baking bread and what happens when I do things this way and that way. I want to know all.

It has gotten to a point where I stopped writing to do research on videos on how to bake bread. I want to learn.

Learning and improving is key.

It’s always the first weekend back from a trip that I don’t want to do anything at all. I don’t want to meet, see, or interact with people. It’s always always the weekend of me just unwinding and being on my own.

The funny thing is that the trip would always be a solo trip and I would have been alone to begin with. It’s just funny that I would want another weekend of being alone, more so than my regular weekends.

It usually ends up being a typical weekend of me not doing anything at all and cooking if I had the motivation. But it’s a little different because whereas my typical weekends are just how it ends up being, unplanned and open to anything that comes up, if they ever do, which is rarely. These after trip first weekends are planned unwind be on my own not doing anything weekends.

That’s just how I am. I prefer being alone. I prefer being on my own, so I can unwind and decompress from everything. This weekend in particular is a definite must, given how things kind of ended the last one.

* * *

The trip.

This past weekend was my very first time exploring the majestics that was Big Sur. I’ve always driven by this beautiful place on many of my road trips along the coast but I had never spent any real time there exploring and hiking like I normally do.

It’s such a beautiful place. The bluffs along the Pacific and the crashing waves and the vast endless blueness just boggles the mind. One of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen and I finally planned to explore it.

Overall, it was a great trip. I took the coast like any sane person would, or just a person who likes to take the scenic route. I didn’t have any time constraints or any place to be. I just strolled up on Hwy 1, which was quickly becoming an old acquaintance of mine. Maybe next time, if there is a next time, I’ll take Hwy 101 and just get there quicker.

For the longest time, up until I started to do research on the trip and planning on where to hike, I believed that Big Sur was just a big National Park called Pfeiffer Burns. I was wrong. Dead wrong.

Big Sur was that region of Northern California and is composed of many little State Parks like Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park, Limekiln State Park, Pfeiffer Burns State Park, and Andrew Molera State Park and many others.

I researched and researched and finally made up a list of hikes, attractions, and activities that I wanted to do. I created offline trail maps and Yelp searches for places to eat and visit. I was ready and I was off, excited to take an extended weekend away from the city, away from work, and to be alone and be one with nature.

It was definitely much needed, like an extension of my bday trip out to Sequoia National Park and being one with nature there. There’s something that is definitely calming about it.

Maybe being out in nature is one of the only times that I usually don’t have earbuds in my head, ignoring people. It’s just me, nature and the sounds of my surroundings; the wild calls of birds, the rustling of lizards, the soft whispers of the cool breeze, the calming of the crashing waves. Nature.

Now, I use to hike with my headphones on, but years ago I stopped wearing them because it was just unsafe. You need to hear the sounds around you, especially when you are out there in the woods, forests, nature, wherever you are alone, hiking, so you can hear animals. Basically I didn’t want a bear or cougar or mountain lion or rattle snake sneaking up to me and eating me or killing me. 127 put a lot of things into perspective.

That’s why I usually end up posting on Facebook what I plan on doing that day and where I’ll be, so just in case I don’t check in the next day or in the next couple of days, people have a rough general idea of where I am.

It’s considerate.

I wonder what other people think about that. I wonder if they just think that I post that to rub it in that I’m off gallivanting around having fun and rubbing it in other people’s faces. Who knows?

I got to Julia Pfeiffer around 2:30 in the afternoon and just made my way to McWay Falls. It’s a little cove just outside of the park entrance right next to the PCH. After that, that’s when I went to have fun and did a 5-mile hike. It was going great until I had to go uphill. I didn’t do any strenuous hiking in Sequoia, so this one kicked my ass. I was doing really well and then I got tired going uphill so I had to take a break. I’m going to blame that on me skipping lunch and not eating anything all day. I just didn’t have the calories to do it.

After the short rest and snacks, I was good to go. I trucked along the hike without any other issues. It was great. After Julia Pfeiffer, I did Partington Cove. It was a weird little turn off on the PCH and quite an easy little hike down.

By this time, it was close to 6pm and I still had about an hour’s drive to the hotel. For dinner I went to Cannery Row and just walked around and found a place.

One thing I noticed about Monterrey (where I stayed for the weekend) was that it was quiet. Like really quiet. Like I kept wondering, it’s Friday night, where is everyone? It was that quiet.

After dinner, I walked around some more to explore the area and then I was back to the hotel and was pretty much asleep before 11. It was a big day the next day. Lots of hiking. Lots.

Bright an early, I found a hipster coffee shop called ACME which was actually pretty damn good. Pick what you want with what kind of beans and they grind it fresh and voila, coffee. Yummy coffee.

Then started my next day, which was a very very long day, with a lot of hiking planned. It started at Andrew Molera State Park. I had the whole 8.1-mile loop planned. It took about a mile to get to the trail head and I was off. I decided to hike the ridge first and end up finishing along the Bluffs, which was opposite of what other people did. I was alone for a good part of the hike, well past the halfway mark where I was coming down from the ridge and onto the bluffs. There, as the day got closer to late morning was when I came across the many other hikers. Actually, I saw a family start from the bluffs as I was ascending the ridge. We started about the same time and they were a wee bit slower than I was.

But in the end, it was great. It was a great workout with great views and I ended up sitting at the beach for a good part of an hour. Then it was just a little over a mile stroll back to the parking lot.

Oh, the thing about this trail to the beach was that you had to cross a little stream/river before you can really start the hike. I didn’t want to go through the trouble of taking off and putting back on my socks and boots, so I just went ahead with boots on. So, I had to hike with wet socks for a good half of the trip. Eventually they dried out, but at the halfway point, when I took a rest, I wrung out them socks.

Then I went to lunch at Nepthane, which was crowded. After that, it was then off to Pfeiffer Burns Big Sur State Park. It was about 2:30 at this time and I did about two hikes here. By the time I was done, it was close to 6 and about 20+miles. I had to stop at the Big Sur Lodge for some ice cream.

Man, I was so tired. So fucking tired that day, but I felt that I could still go a few more miles.

I drove back to the hotel, took a shower and then went to the supposedly cool part of town, Alvarado St. to figure out what to have for dinner. After walking around, I couldn’t decide on anything and it was getting late as I was walking through the Fisherman’s Wharf. I just ended up picking the restaurant at the very end of the Wharf. It wasn’t great, but I was too tired to complain.

The next day was the biggest surprise. Bright and early I drove to Point Lobos State Reserve. This. THIS. It was just mind boggling beautiful. One of the most beautiful places I’ve been and it was quickly becoming one of my favorite places. The hike was more of a nature stroll than anything else. I did the full loop, hiking through the whole park, taking pictures and just taking everything in. I was surprised when I saw that I did about 10 miles here.

Next, on the agenda for the rest of the day was lunch in Carmel and then end it with Lone Cypress and 17-mile drive.

I got lunch at Carmel and got a seafood pasta. It was so fucking good and then I made the biggest mistake. Wine Tasting.

I saw that there was wine tasting in Carmel and that’s what I did. I ended up in Galvante for the first one and it was great. Great wine and had a great chat with a couple that I met there. They go wine tasting there quite often and Galvante was their favorite.

So, it was only downhill from there and it was definitely just fucking downhill from there. I went to about 5 other wineries and did tastings and for some reason, I came home with 6 bottles of wine.

And of course I drove back to the hotel. I need to be a grown up about this and have more common sense, but yeah, it was fucking stupid. I’m surprised I’m not dead yet. But, on the way back from Carmel, I threw up in the car and I’m still suffering from it. The smell. Oh fucking holy hell, the smell.

But, I got back to the hotel, cleaned up, napped for like 3 hours and then went to a bad Chinese restaurant and just fucking tried to eat and sober up. I cleaned up the car as best as I could and continued to clean it the next morning before I checked out. I made a mess of the bathroom and left a big tip.

Yeah, it was a shit show. I fucked up and I’m eating my mistake. I have to. It was all me and I’m not blaming anyone else. It was just me.

Monday, I got me some ACME coffee again and just started the drive back with the nasty disgusting smell. Overall, the drive home was uneventful and wasn’t bad. I missed the turn off the 101 to the 1 near Malibu, so I ended up taking the 101/405 back home. By that time, I didn’t care anymore.

I just wanted to get home and clean up the car.

Overall, the trip was great, except for that last afternoon. I definitely want to do it again. To explore more of Big Sur.

To my next trip.

13 years.

Well, almost 13 years. It’ll just be a few more days until the anniversary, but in a blink of an eye and poof, it is that time of the year again.

With each year, it gets easier and with the breakthrough that I had a couple of years ago, it is much easier.

I almost forgot about the day, until I thought about the planned vacation coming up and realize that I was getting out of time close to the day.

Sure, I’ll be at work on the day that my father passed away 13 years ago, but in a way, it would be a weekend where I get to spend by myself out in nature and just be.

I still remember when there were years when I know that the day was coming, or the month of May would be here and I would just get in a funky mood for the whole month. Again, things had gotten a lot easier as the years gone by, but it is still hard.

I still have father issues. Watching shows or movies or any media that shows strained relationships between a father and a son or even their kids still gets to me. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that, but that’s just me.

But it is true that it gets easier with more time. It gets easier the further you get away from it. It just gets easier and thankfully that’s where I am now at.

* * *

Distracted.

Not sure what I want to go in terms of my writing. I’m so behind on this writing project, but yet, here I am rambling and even the rambling isn’t going to go anywhere.

Not sure what is going on with me. Lack of iron? Or am I just bored and my ADHD is kicking in? I need to focus, but I don’t feel the cloudy hazy brain fog that I use to feel. So this is just a little bit different. Just a smidge.

I’m not sure what is going on, but it is something.

It isn’t my MLC. That’s over….for now. It’s definitely not that feeling. Definitely not at all.

Maybe it’ll go away.

At least I’m not having any stomach issues today. Not very bloaty or gassy. So, positive side?

Who knows?

I just need to get past the next four days of work and then I’m free for the road trip. Can’t wait.

Then it is planning the next two months of road trips and then maybe vacations for the rest of the year. I know that I have a few days saved up with no real big trips shaping up for next year, might as well try and enjoy it.

Chicago again? Maybe. Just maybe or maybe Napa again? Who knows. There are a lot of things up in the air and I’m not going to think that far ahead. I’ll just go with the flow and flow with the dough.

* * *

Blah! Today is over. Too many distractions in the mind. Bladder is being ridiculous and feeling the urge to eat and buy me some spendy banh mi and I need to go to uncle’s today.

Blah.