Been reading all of my entries on this little void of mine.

It’s been over 12 years since I’ve started this thing and I have about 450 entries. It’ll be a while before I ever finish reading, but man, was I sad and pathetic back then.

I was girl crazy over every single girl and so melodramatic.

Am I still the same now?

I don’t know, but I’ll just read along and find out.

The year winds down, coming down to its final legs.

In a week, there will only be two months left and then we’ll have another clean slate to work from.

The cycle continues and we have some short time left to make the best of 2017.

It’s also around this time that I start to reflect about the year, about myself. It’s also the time that I wonder what will be of me next year. What will happen?

It’s the time when I read back to some of my old postings and figure out how much have I changed. Is there still an upward trajectory of being a better person?

Time.

Time is a mystery. It’s constant but abstract at the same time.

It’s finite and yet, infinite.

Time.

* * *

Looking over the years that I have written in here, it seems that in 2010, I only wrote about nine entries and was curious as to what was going on in my life at that time that prevented me from writing more.

Writer’s block.

I read over the entries. Some of them filled with the common themes and subjects that you will find in many of my other entries.

Lost. Insecurities. Girls. The Darkness.

Yet, there were some glimmer of hope and positivity in there too. There was that sense of optimism that crept up on me, which I still can’t explain.

It’s all there.

Then I came to an entry about an asshole, and a tumultuous couple. Reading the story, that night flashed back to me. Them. They.

The night.

That fucking night.

Me, always playing the knight, needing to save someone.

It’s overrated, the Knight in Shining Armor. Fuck him.

I wonder would I still the same if I see someone in need. Would I mount my gallant steed and rush in to save the damsel?

I don’t know.

No clue.

* * *

I haven’t sent out a link to this little void of mine to anyone in a long time.

Not many people know about it and it just doesn’t come up in conversations.

It’s not that I’m ashamed of this place. No, I’m not.

This little blog of mine saved my life. It’s my therapy. It me, my essence, down on paper.

I’m not ashamed of it.

Yesterday was the first time I sent it out to someone in a long time.

It’s a friend from work. I had a great time getting drinks with her on Friday and somehow we ended up opening to each other and somehow I mentioned my blog and she wanted to read it.

I had to think about sharing it. I do write about people here, even though I do use code names for the most part, but I don’t know. There’s a sense of being open and then there’s being too open.

This is me. These words are my thoughts and fears out for the world to see.

The anonymous nature of it helps with getting things out there and in a sense, it’s not like I’m hiding it.

I sent it to all my family and all of my coworkers when I first started it 14 plus years ago and from people that came in and out of my life since I’ve started writing it.

So, I sent it to her. Not sure if she’ll read it at all, but it’s out there.

Also, it’s not like it is difficult to find if they know all of my web handles. Not hard at all.

I’m writing about this as a long prologue about what I really want to write about, my old entries.

Specifically my first entries.

I’ll make a new section about it…..

* * *

…..my first entries.

I haven’t read my first entries in years. I don’t remember when. I don’t think I read it when I was finished with therapy or maybe I had, but even then, that was well over two years ago.

I read them again yesterday.

In the 14-and-a-half years since I’ve written them, those words still feels fresh to me. Those words still bring tears to my eyes and the dull aching pain to my heart.

The wounds of that lost young soul still haunt me.

It doesn’t hold the same power over me like it once did, but I still remember that pain. I still remember that darkness, that ickiness, that fog.

It’s was my life for so long. It was my constant.

I’ve grown, changed, and rebuilt myself cell by cell in these past few years.

I’m damaged and will always be, but I am much stronger for it. I’m much stronger than I was then. I understand more.

With time, I’m better.

Like my friend said, it’s not just time that fixes all things, it’s the conscious effort that I put in to understand myself, to love myself, to work on myself and to allow myself to heal that made me stronger. It’s the choice that I made to be better.

Forgiveness played a big part in this healing process too. We’re not perfect. We’re only human. We’re all damage and we will never be 100% fixed. It’s a matter of being comfortable with what is broken and being able to live with it and say, “Hey, I’m okay.“

I’m okay.

I remember a few of the other entries that I wrote, specifically the ones about my father, my family, the one about my grandmother, and I want to read all of them again.

It’s living in the past, I know, but it’s also healing. It’s also tracking progress.

I’ve come a long away, such a long way.

Such a long way….

* * *

Going through some of these old entries, I came across some of my creative work that I forgot about.

Some of these short stories and even some of my poetry make me want to get back to creative writing again. I just need to shut up and do it.

Poetry.

I miss it.

Prose.

It’s a bitch, but I do like it.

I have such a love/hate relationship with writing.

It’s funny.

I’ve written well over 450 entries in this little space of mine, I can’t possibly read it all again. A masochistic side of me wants to read it all, but what will at achieve?

I don’t know. Should I try? Maybe.

Eh.

Who knows what will happen?

Till next time.

I miss it.

I miss it dearly. I miss the soft pitter-patter of rain on cement or my car windows, roof, and on my head.

I miss walking in the rain, even though Pickles hates it. I just miss rain.

It’s another sunny day in sunny SoCal. I know I shouldn’t be bitching, but eh. Whatever. We need rain and it’s fucking fall and it’s fucking 80s.

Blah.

* * *

Even though I’m trying to add another entry into this little void of mine, my mind is elsewhere.

It’s on my cooking project for today, gumbo.

I read a few recipes, watched a few videos, and got the basic idea of it, but I think I should read up on more.

Talking with Benjo about how he makes his helped a little bit and he recommended a website I should check out.

I guess I’m trying to figure out if I can add shrimp to a chicken and andouille gumbo.

Let me search for it.

Back and I think I’m in the clear. Makes me want to add fucking crab to it now. Ugh. Another trip to Trader Joe’s, plus I need vegetable oil. Eh. Might just wing it and get some canola.

I’ve been slacking on my cooking project as of late. I was on a roll, knocking about half of it out in the first couple of months and then I hit a wall.

I blame Chutney and everything that happened with Relish and then vacations and life just got in the way. Or that I didn’t have any cravings. I’m unsure, but I trying to get back to it.

Swing big. It’ll be an interesting one for sure.

Benjo also recommended that I make my roux in the oven. It’ll be easier and I probably won’t fuck it up. Just looked it up and it’s an Alton Brown recipe. Seems simple enough, but for the first time, I think I want to go old school. Fucking stir that shit and keep my eye on it.

Excited.

Now, I just need to figure out what my next few projects will be. I already know that I’ll most likely make Shiao Leung Bao next, but after that, who knows?

* * *

I think the end of the year will ramp up to be shitty like the beginning of the year. There’s going to be a lot of development that I’ll have to get hands on for even though the new guy will take a bulk of it. There will be a lot of training and a lot of gripes from the general population.

Fuck them.

New shit.

Get with the program.

We can’t make everyone happy and it isn’t my job to make everyone happy.

Fuck’em.

Blah.

I’m just bracing myself for it. This year has been a trying year and to think that most of the horoscopes said I should have a decent year.

Bring it on….just be gentle.

* * *

Honest. Finding yourself. Just being true.

Those that know me know that I’m not a fan of going out, socializing. I’m a self-proclaimed misanthrope and proclaim how antisocial to anyone that would listen.

I’m the quintessential introvert. Going out and getting so much stimulus is tiring.

Socializing is tiring.

Small talk is the worst.

But there are moments that I strive for whenever I’m out and that’s just an honest connection. I love having conversations with people that gives me some insight into who they are, being open and honest, ugly and naked.

We are people and we aren’t perfect.

As I stated many times in this little void of mine, every year should be a growing year. Every year should be a learning year; learning about yourself, who you are, your faults, your strengths.

It’s always about understanding yourself down to the essence of your soul and understanding why you are the way you are.

Being that self-aware helps with fixing yourself.

We’re all damaged. Some more so than others.

We can’t get better until we accept our self, faults and all, embrace it and then burn it down in a pit of flaming napalm and emerge from the flames like a rising phoenix.

Then, do it all over again.

We are phoenixes rising from the ashes of our former selves, stronger and more beautiful than ever.

I will love you unconditionally….

Tsujita opens up their version of Dan Dan noodles, called tantan noodles, today on my much beloved neighborhood Japantown street, Sawtelle.

It’s where my usual writing spot is, Volcano, where I’m writing this right now.

It’s been a long while since I’ve grabbed anything around here. I hardly come out there for anything besides writing and I’m on a no lunch kick. If I do feel a craving, I usually go to the okynomaki place a few buildings down because I parked in the parking lot and don’t want to take up any of their time while going somewhere else to eat.

Eventually I will try it out. I’m just unsure when. Maybe when the crowds go down, ’cause I’m sure it’ll be a crowded place. It sure looks crowded now and today is their opening day.

Of course, they are going to give away 300 bowls of free noodles, so there’s that.

We shall see.

* * *

Thinking about the rest of the year, I don’t have any fun trips planned besides going home for Christmas. It’s my yearly pilgrimage.

I don’t know what I’m doing for Thanksgiving. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to do anything, but I’m sure many family will ask me to drive up and do something. I’m just unsure who or if I’m willing to commit.

I know that I’m trying to do the Year of Yes thing, but I just want to stay home and cook and mind my own business. I want to avoid people, just relax, and not do anything.

I don’t know. Who knows?

We shall see.

* * *

It’s unusually hot for an October day in Los Angeles. Summer claws onto whatever remnants of its season, not wanting to fade away into the mist chill of Fall. It has no problems winning that battle today.

It’ll be in the low 90s today and everyone prepares to spend the day outside. Not me. My cave is where I’ll be. Inside, confined by the small walls of my little humble abode. It fits me like a snug glove. No one can find me there. That’s the point.

I prep my mind, my brain, my thought patterns and shift them towards the more creative side. I push, I guide, swerving the brain juices to a more prosey approach. It’s difficult. I’m rusty. It’ll take a long while before I can get back to any semblance of what I was able to do and that wasn’t much to begin with. This will be a start. It has to be.

I’ll look over the prompts and the unfinished stories and maybe go back to them or should I write something new? I need little exercises to get me back into fighting shape. My year of writing has been a year of verbose journaling. Writing out my recollection in a simple tired declarative sentences of this happened and then that. Tired. Boring.

I need to get ready to fight. I need to get productive. I need to be writing.

Not just writing, but writing better.

Maybe I need a new muse to draw some inspiration. Someone or something to drive me to do better and not settle for the mediocrity of blahness.

The search continues.

* * *

I’ve been thinking about moving this site from a self-hosted site and to WordPress.com for a while now. I’m tired of hosting my own domain and everything that comes with it and doing updates and what not. I just want someone to do that for me.

I don’t care about the vanity domain name. I still have the self-identity of it with the name of the blog and the main url. It’s the right move. It makes sense.

I still have nine months left on my domain, so I’ll keep using it until it runs out and then I’ll migrate everything over.

Easier. Simpler. No fuss. Just blog and go.

I’ve moved platforms before.

This started out many years ago as a LiveJournal site and it is here now and eventually it’ll be something or somewhere else. Will it go away?

Maybe. Who knows?

I’ve been using this outlet as a form of therapy for many years now and now I’m using it as a place to ramble about what is happening in my life.

I’m sure there’ll be a mixture of everything as the years come and go, from random ramblings about the sweet nothings of life or to something that I have to get off my chest and purge to keep my sanity.

Writing will always be a part of my life, I’ll need an outlet, and this will always be it.

It may not be exactly this, but there will be some form of it.

But until that time comes, feel free to visit here.

Of course, I’ll post what the new url will be when the time comes, but until then, it’s easy to remember.

Hahha, I don’t even know who actually read this thing.

It was such a long week.

A fucking long week.

I honestly don’t know why.

I guess Monday was slow. It was so slow that Benjo called the helpline from his desk to make sure that the phones were still working. That’s how bad it was.

Another thing was that my Monday routine has been changing. Mondays are my going out nights, my #movienightmondays, but for the past month or so, things came up and I had to do it some other night.

This week, I went out on a Tuesday instead. It tricked my brain into thinking that I’m a day behind.

Another reason why it was such a long week, a shitty week, was the DASH preview meeting with the higher ups and stakeholders. They roasted it, believing it to be incomplete.

I guess they wanted it to be more of what we were thinking of for a phase 3 or a phase 4, even though the project and what we presented was in scope and originally tasked.

I spoke with the main PM about it the next morning and it seemed the higher ups forgot the scope. It was a slow roll out of functionality.

The whole point of the new DASH was to change the front-end intranet. That’s what we presented.

Now, I was scrambling to setup meetings, get other stakeholders together, and think about our next steps to make this happen. It doesn’t help that one of the main PMs on this project hasn’t been pulling his weight.

Well, I guess more on the second part of the project that was in scope with Cyclotron. I need hierarchy. I need structure and they come to me with nothing and so I make all of the decisions on a process that I do not know or understand.

Frustrating.

Yeah, Wednesday was a difficult day, but I got alcohol to help me through it.

Things started to settle down as I had some progress on some of the projects that needed attending and our new Developer was great and helpful. It’s his first week and he held strong.

I am hopeful that he’ll do great. He seemed very eager to jump on the projects.

Here’s to hoping and here’s to another busy week coming up.

* * *

Had a doctor’s appointment yesterday.

Some progress I guess, but no different. Prescribed me something for stomach cramps and recommend some peppermint oil to calm my stomach and some probiotics.

They’re going to run some tests to see if I have celiac and see if I have any other bad bacteria in my stomach. Fuck, I just want this to be over.

Like I told the nurse, it’s manageable, but just fucking annoying.

Blah.

Blah indeed.

* * *

Someone told me my dating profile was too nice. That, because I’m in LA, I have to make it seem that I am an asshole and I shouldn’t look over the girls’ profiles and write an email specific to them.

So, everyone in LA is superficial and I should play the game, but why would I want someone like that.

Blah.

Just going to live and see what comes up.

Right?

That’s how it should be.

Blah.

Blah indeed.

* * *

Something interesting struck me a couple days ago about my brother and me in terms of our similarities. I know that we are very similar in a lot of way, but we are so different.

What struck me as interesting is what we care about, in terms of taking care of things. I love animals. I have pets and I will do most anything to help an animal if I can.

We are both caring people in terms of wanting to take care of things. It’s within our nature. What struck me as interesting is that instead of animals, he takes care of plants and I think it is very fitting and very fascinating.

I know he likes animals, but not to the extent of me. He claims that he would like to get a dog, but he never had, claiming that he doesn’t have time to take care of them, which may be right.

How I see it, is that there are two people living in that household that can take care of the dogs, but they don’t have any.

Plants. Plants are easy.

You nurture them like any other living thing, feeding them, water them, give them air and sunshine. It’s just a more tranquil and quieter approach to it, which is how I see my brother. Quieter, more tranquil.

I tend to be a little more social, more verbose, and outgoing than my brother. I’m also a little more adventurous too.

Just fitting how our personalities differ and our interests vary to match it.

* * *

My Nexus died.

I need a new tablet and the best and most worth-it option is an iPad.

Ugh.

So sad.

First world problems.

* * *

Tomorrow will be another day and today I’ll end it here since I have a lot to do today.

Need to pick up the new toy.

Need to take pictures for insurance sake.

Need to cook.

Blah blah blah.

Blah indeed.

It’s been a long long while since I wrote about what’s been happening, which isn’t much.

I know that I posted a long entry yesterday about the Italy trip, but that happened a month ago.

There’s been a few that happened since then, quite a few things that happened.

M’s is probably on a plane back from Vietnam now and should be flying back to the PNW tomorrow night.

During these past couple of weeks since I got back to LA and the time spent writing about Italy, I went to Chicago for work.

It was good, easy, and long.

Sure, there were some minor issues, but nothing major that caused any delays. I did put in a lot of hours, but that comes with the job and what I was doing.

I did get time to explore the city and enjoy it.

I explored parts of town that I never went to before, like North Chicago…Lincoln Square, Ravenswood, Uptown, amongst others. It was great exploring a city I love and learn more about it.

Just awesome.

I finally published my Italy pictures. It took a good two weeks to go through and process them out. Out of the 6800 pictures I took, I ended up with about 4700 and posted about 700 or so. Not bad. It’s on par with my usual output.

* * *

We’ve finally hired a developer for SharePoint.

He’ll start Tuesday and I’m excited. I’m excited not because he’ll be helping me out and taking over all of the SharePoint stuff, but I’m more excited that he’ll have the talent and the knowledge to build better tools for SharePoint that I just don’t have.

I have ideas and I know that there are things that SharePoint is good for, but I just don’t have coding background knowledge or the help to make it happen.

Hopefully he’s good and is able to just take control and help us get these ideas off the ground.

I’m optimistic that it’ll be a good thing.

Hoping.

* * *

The second half of my year has definitely gone quite a bit smoother and low key than the first half of my year, with work, vacation, and life.

Everything is status quo in the sense of the pace that I wanted.

Work is work, busy but not busy at the same time as I’m the IT Project Manager for the new cafe along with my other duties.

The two vacations that were planned for the second half of the year had come and went with success and there’s nothing for me to look forward to until the holidays.

I’ve already purchased my plane ticket home. I had to think real hard to remember the last time I was back home and it was last Christmas break.

I haven’t seen mom since then, so it’ll be a good thing.

Family.

I haven’t seen much of family this year, besides my brother whom, I went on two vacations with. It’ll be good.

Let’s keep this up.

Let’s keep it going.

No more stress, please.

No more drama.

Easy peasy.

* * *

Happy Hour.

Alcohol.

I’ve touched upon my drinking problem here and there in this little void of mine.

It’s not out of control. I’m not an alcoholic, but I do have an issue with it, especially when I use it as a crutch to deal with stress.

I’ll stress drink and stress eat, and this year has been a trying time for me.

Relish.

Work.

Chutney.

Relish.

Life.

It was rough, I drank, and there were times that I blacked out.

Knowing this, I’m trying to, or at least make an effort to drink a little more responsibly.

It’s still a work in progress, but I didn’t totally make a fool out of my self the last social outing that I had.

The All Agency Meeting is coming up soon and hopefully I won’t do a repeat.

Hopefully.

Let’s get this under control.

* * *

A happy hour.

Not about liquor or my drinking, but more about the last social outing that I had.

It was someone’s going away happy hour and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it.

It was Kendall’s going away and with trying to live by the whole Year of Yes thing again, I went. I had no reason not too and I actually do genuinely like that group, even though I give them shit all the time.

I had no idea what the plan was but I left my night open. I didn’t know when I would bail or how late I would stay.

It stared out like any other happy, where I went down with Geoffry and got our drinks at the go-to Happy Hour spot, the DG (Daily Grill).

I’m trying something new, especially with my liquor issue; Rocks. Getting my liquor on the rocks. It slows me down a little bit, especially with it being diluted and a little more liquid to finish. It helps and maybe I’ll just do the whole neat thing on special occasions or when things are fully fucking rough.

Trying something new.

The party got going as more people showed up and Kendall showed up. I bought drinks for a few of the ladies and then it was time to get up from the bar and mingle and find buffers, people that I know, and to get away from the crowd.

I found my crowd next to the Take-Out pickup section. There I just chilled with some of the HRM team and got to know a little bit more about my BFF.

She’s from the PNW and I told her I was from Seattle and was like…no wonder we get along.

Then Ms. Goodbar showed up and we started to chat.

We talked about vacations, camping, hiking, national parks, and the places that we all need to visit, especially for those who love the outdoors like BFF.

As the night progressed and people left, we found ourselves at a table while some disappeared.

One of the funniest things that I remember from that night was when I first sat down at one of the long tables, and Phillips Philips sat down across from me, I asked her, “What’s your story? I don’t know anything about you.”

She started to say something, and then an intern came, sat down next to me and introduced himself to her and that was it. That was the end of the conversation. He just hijacked everything and all I could do was like..hmmm..okay, and left to the table behind me.

Some media planners were sitting there, Court and Kay and we just chilled and chatted.

I had a great time with them, especially when they both were having a bad time. Court couldn’t find a date to her sister’s wedding and Kay’s car broke down and not to mention that she was one of the person that got her shit stolen.

Things were winding down and we decided to get more drinks at Santa Monica Brewery.

I never been but always wanted to. I walked over as the ladies drove and it was pretty chill.

As expected, it was douchey hipster, but overall, it wasn’t bad. I had a great time there with the both of them and I didn’t realize how much of a firecracker Court was. Cute and feisty. It was a totally different side of her.

Had a great time with the two of them.

Finished with our drinks, I walked over to the last place for the night, where everyone else went, the Gaslight on Wilshire for some Karaoke.

I of course, did not sing. I didn’t know how long I was going to stay or what the fuck I was going to do, since that’s usually not the type of place I would go.

I had a great time and it was because I hung out with Ms. Goodbar. Things were a little…..flirty between us. Very playful.

I learned that her boyfriend is older than I am. Fuck. I had a great time and she made the time there enjoyable.

It was getting late, well, late for me, around 10:30, so I left. I made my short rounds to say goodbye and was surprised that BFF rushed over for a goodbye hug. I have her one of my big ones that I normally give out to people I like.

It was a good night. It was an unexpected night.

I have no expectations of what was going to happen and just let things happen.

Glad to have experienced it and glad to have it be a part of the good half of the year.

Till the next one.

It’s been a while, but I’m back.

Home. Home. Home.

Sure, it sucks to be back at home, but it’s great being around my furkids again. It’s great being able to get a good night’s sleep and in a way, it’s great to get back into routine again.

No more of the hustling, bustling, and being on vacation.

But holy hell.

Italy.

Magical.

Bella Italia.

Italy is such a beautiful place and it quickly became one of the greatest trips I’ve taken in my life.

I went with my brother. Originally, it was a family trip but my mom dropped out, wanting to go back to Vietnam and China instead with family. Great for her, I guess, but c’mon, it’s fucking Italy.

As we going through our trip, I realize that if we did travel with mom, it would have been a totally different trip. There was so much walking that she would just slow us down.

But damn, I sure would love to have mom experience Italy. The food.

The fucking food.

* * *

The main itinerary for the trip was Venice, Milan, Cinque Terre, Florence, Assisi, and then Rome.

We spent about two days at each city or so and in some areas, we did a quick side trip outside of the city to visit other places.

We’ll get up, hit all of the touristy spots, explore, and then fine places to eat and then repeat. That was the trip.

There was a lot of walking. A shit ton of walking. We’ve pretty much walked over 100 miles in the two weeks we were there.

Yeah, mom wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Overall, my bro didn’t annoy me as much as he could but there definitely were times when he did annoy the fuck out of me. I’m sure a lot of it has to do with me not liking people and some of it has to do with what he did. Just minor shit about him that annoys me.

If I traveled alone, the trip would probably be a little bit different, but not so much. I would probably have gone out at night more, to a bar or something and would have done it a little slower, more people watching as I sit and sip some coffee outside or something.

My brother was obsessed with getting his steps in. I didn’t realize it was a competition.

I know my body was tired and drained and I needed to rest up on some days and I did that. I napped.

Fucker.

Overall. Great trip. I loved most everything about Italy, from the food, the traveling, the sites, and even the touristy stuff.

I could have done without the fucking smoking though. That got my allergies up and I couldn’t avoid it.

There were some live and learn moments. Thankfully, they were small, but that comes with going to a foreign country and trying to figure out things when they come up. No way to avoid it no matter how prepared one is.

Just have to roll with it.

* * *

Venice.

Venezia

The first city.

Maybe it was because it was the first, but it was one of my favorites.

There’s a soft spot in my heart for Venice. There’s an old school romance vibe to the city that I can’t explain. It’s a feeling that I can’t shake, but it’s there. You can feel it.

Maybe it the excitement of being here, now, in Italy. Venice. Love it. Explore it.

I love the maze that the city is, broken up by different islands with the main canal down the middle and connected by footbridges.

I loved getting lost in the narrow streets and alleys.

I don’t know, even with how crowded it was, with all the tourists and all the tourist traps, there was something romantic about the city.

We visited a few museums, St. Mark’s square and the Basilica. Other than the touristy stuff, we just explored. Just got lost in the city, exploring.

* * *

Milan

Milano

The last night in Venice was a sleepless one, even though I was beat. Tired. The flight was catching up to me and it was a long day of walking.

In the morning, we took our first train ride and it didn’t go off too well.

First off, we didn’t know what we were doing in terms of finding the train and where it is. We weren’t sure how to validate the ticket, but there were some “scammers” there that helped for a little bit of money.

Live and learn and that was a 5 Euro lesson each and then we were set. We knew what we had to do for the rest of the trip.

Live and learn.

But when we got to the first station to change trains, we missed it. My bro had to use the bathroom and thought we had time. We got to the platform but were unsure where the train was. There was a train at the far end of the platform and there were a bunch of people waiting at the front.

We waited at the front.

The train left. We missed it.

I was livid. I wasn’t too happy and felt that it’ll be a long trip if shit like this keeps happening.

But we got tickets for the next one and then things went fine.

We got to Milan.

It was our first urban city.

From the train station, we got on the subway to get to our hotel. We unpacked our things and then we were off to the main drag of Milan, the Duomo.

This was my bro’s trip, so he did most of the planning on things to do and it seems that in Milan, the only thing to do and see was the Duomo and so that’s where we spent most of the day walking around.

We got there late in the day, so we didn’t go into the Duomo. We left it for the next day with the museums and what not. Originally, we had plan to do a day trip to Lake Como since the Duomo closed on Mondays.

It wasn’t. But since we arrived late, we had to play everything by ear.

In terms of exploring, Milan was the one that we explored the least.

There wasn’t much to do.

After we scoped out the Duomo and that area we decided to walk back to the hotel instead of taking the train. It was fucking far and the heat was getting to the both of us.

Tired.

I had to take a nap in the afternoon because I didn’t get much sleep in Venice and we decided to go looking for a laundromat the next day. There wasn’t one around the neighborhood, so it’ll have to wait.

Dinner, my bro, of course had a place spec’ed out. We went there and it was closed. Later we found out that it moved to a different location. We found another one on yelp that was close to 2 miles away. I said we should take the train, but my bro was like, let’s walk it. So we walked. It too was closed after the fucking walk.

I was hangry at this point. Not happy, but eventually we found a place and then things got better. Funny how things get better when there is food.

It was our first experience with Italian beef and it fucking blew me away. We had the steak florentine, a roasted T-bone. It didn’t look like a T-bone though, but more of a ribeye. Fuck, that flavor was different and it was excellent.

It turns out that with all that walking, we ended up close to the main train station. We walked to it and took the subway back to the hotel.

It was an aimless day, but we made it work.

The next morning we did a half-day morning trip to Lake Como and Varenna. We took an hour train ride to Varenna-Eiso and we set off exploring.

We actually didn’t plan it out too well. We didn’t buy our return train ticket after we got off, even though we should have. They close for lunch and by the time they get back; our next train back to Milan would have been at 4pm, which was too late for us to do anything.

Surrounding Lake Como are different cities that you can take a ferry to get to. We bought a central ferry ticket that gave us access to about four or five of these cities. We only went to one, Bellagio.

That was what time allotted.

Lake Como was fucking awesome. A slow relaxing break from the hustle and bustle that we’ve been through in the previous days. We just enjoyed the views and explored the small little lake town. We kind of had to rush back to get our train ticket though. Again, wasn’t well thought out. Live and learn.

But I rushed to the train station after we got back to Varenna and then we had about an hour-and-a-half break before our 2pm train. We had lunch.

Again, I made an effort to order and eat as many different things as I can. Today, gnocchi.

It was good, but soft. Different.

But the thing that blew us away was the tiramisu. I love tiramisu. It was marketed as their special airy and fluffy tiramisu. It was awesome, the best that I had ever eaten.

They did something special with it. Their lady fingers were very biscotti like and they put corn flakes in it for crunch. The cheese and cream was an airy cloud of foamy goodness. They actually put it in a foam canister.

Fucking blew me away.

Back in Milan, the first thing that we did was the Duomo. We explored the vast Cathedral and were blown away by the size and the elegance of it. It wasn’t the last one of these magnificent Cathedrals that I was blown away by either.

Slowly we walked through the Duomo, visiting the crypt and then took the stairs up to the Terraces and the top of the Cathedral. Afterwards we went to the museum, which was closed. We got tickets for the museum, but it was closed early and instead of going back to the hotel, we just walked around the area until it was time for dinner.

We wandered aimlessly for like two hours and then I just sat down, tired, and people watch at the main square.

Fuck that. We opted for the restaurant that was our backup option from the night before. My bro later realized that the restaurant that he actually wanted to go, the one that was closed the first night actually moved locations. I wasn’t going to walk to it.

After dinner we walked back to the Duomo to catch our train back to the hotel.

* * *

Cinque Terre

Riomaggiore

If I had to pick a favorite, Cinque Terre would be it.

Why?

Why not?

Maybe it was the activity that we did, besides the normal exploring of the towns, we did the hike. I love to hike, so fitting.

Also, the area and the town that we stayed was very quaint and cute. Although it was small, it had a lot of character. Each of the five towns had their own charms and characteristics.

After visiting all of the separate towns, I do think I liked Riomaggiore the best and I guess we lucked out that our Travel Agent put us there instead of Vernazza. It was just crowded.

We got to Riomaggiore in the early afternoon and we checked-in right when we got there.

The hotel manager walked us through the maze that was the city to our Ocean View apartment hotel room. It was the least luxurious and most sparse room, but it had a kitchen, but I didn’t care. I was just in awe by the charms of this city.

After dropping off our bags, we did a preliminary exploration trying to find food and I settled on getting a mixed fried seafood. I loved it. Fresh fried anchovies and calamari along with other good fishy things.

Just love.

Rested, fed, on we went to explore and to get lost.

Amazing. Charmed.

In love.

We lucked out and didn’t have to search far or wait until Florence for a laundry mat. There was right next door to the hotel office. After dinner and getting lost, I chilled for an hour doing laundry, eating some gelato and people watching.

It was a simple evening and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I think it was the first real alone time that I got too.

The next day was the big day.

We planned to hike the whole path and in a way, we did that.

The path from Riomaggiore to Manarola was closed so we couldn’t do it.

Sure, the path was inland and took about three hours to get there, so we opted to take the train to Manarola and start our hike from there instead.

Bright and early we got up and went on our merry way. I think we started close to 8-8:30.

The direct path from Manarola to Corniglia was close, but there was another inland trail that took us there that wasn’t that out of the way. It was so early in Manarola that not much was open, so we breezed through the town to the trail and went on our merry way.

The weather in the morning was cool and there were some light drizzling, but it didn’t stop us. It definitely cleared up.

We didn’t know what to expect from the hike, but the trail brought us up the cliffs into the grape vineyards. We climbed and climbed and climbed and traversed through these small little towns along the way trying to find the trails and follow the signs to our destination.

We saw many people on our hike. Some did the whole thing and others just did one leg of the trip.

The first leg of the hike from Manarola to Corniglia turned out to be about 2.5 hours. It was long and a lot of hills, but worth it. We made it. We explored the tiny town.

The charm and characteristic of Corniglia is that the main road in just a small walkthrough. Very narrow, unlike that of Riomaggiore which had one main street. The main street here, or where most of the restaurants reside are on a small walkway. Explored, we stopped at a cafe for breakfast.

Our next stop was to make our way back to the path and next to Vernazza.

The thing to understand about Cinque Terre is that it is a National Park. We bought a National Park Day-Pass which gives you access to the park along with unlimited train rides to any of the five towns. At the beginning of each of the main trail paths, there are booths where agents will need to see your pass. Flash the pass and you are good to go.

The trail to Vernazza was easier in terms of hills. It was mostly flat, but the sun came out along with the humidity. I haven’t sweated that much in a long time. The views, spectacular.

It was about a 1.5 hour hike between the two towns. Once we got to Vernazza and got to the main thoroughfare, it was close to noon or well past noon.

Vernazza. It was probably the most crowded place that we went to. Maybe it was how dense everything looked, but yeah, very crowded. Like Riomaggiore, there’s a main street through the center of town that leads directly to the marina. No steps or side paths that one would need to use. A direct shot to it. We explored the town, walking the length of the main street looking at the sites and stores and of course, finding food.

We decided to get lunch near the marina and rest up. We were tired. I was fucking tired and I wanted a nice cold beer to cool down.

After lunch, it was time to start our last leg, Monterosso al Mare. The maps said close to 2-2.5 hours. This was one of the tougher ones with the hills and the heat.

We met many people here. It seemed that many decided to do this one stretch and then call it a day and not do the whole path. We met many Americans here too.

The most fascinating thing that we came across on this hike was the cat sanctuary in the hills. Someone decided to build tiny cathouses up there for the wild cats that are living there. Of course, we saw a cat that decided to sleep outside and not use the house.

The final stretch to Monterosso was a bitch, all down and then there were steps. Fuck steps.

Then we were done. Monterosso was the least charming town for me. It was the largest and the most resorty. Not my jam. We explored the town, walking by the beach where many people were laying out in the sun.

We decided to take a boat back instead of the train. We’re all about the views. We bought our ticket and then we just found a bar and chilled until it was time to go. Rest up. Chill. Relax. Be on vacation.

It was nice getting a drink with my bro, ’cause he normally doesn’t drink; only from time to time, but it was great to see he drank most everyday on the trip. When in Rome, right?

Vacation done right.

From beginning to end, with our breaks in between, the whole hike from Manarola to Monterosso took us about 7.5 hours. If it was a straight shot, 5 hours easy. It was a great hike with changes in elevation and views to die for.

It was a great day for me. I’ve always want to hike internationally. Check.

The boat ride was nice. Relaxing and just easy. Sit back, relax and watch the towns float on by in 25 minutes.

I took a shower once I got back to the room. It was a nasty sweaty day and there was no way I was going to go to dinner like that, even though after the shower, I started to sweat again. I didn’t care.

The plan was to go to Manarola for dinner, since we didn’t like any of the other options that were in Riomaggiore, plus we never got to explore Manarola. We took the train with our nifty pass, actually making use to it and just explored and tried to find a place. Unfortunately the most highly rated restaurant, The Billy was closed. There were no other great options so we then took the train to Vernazza.

After walking for what felt like miles exploring the town and find restaurants that were full or required reservations we decided on a moderately rated restaurant that was next door to where we had lunch that day. It had a large menu and the food wasn’t bad actually. My bro actually found one of this favorite pasta dishes there, which, I might have to find the recipe for it again and make it. It was like a spicy tomato sauce thing.

Afterwards, we went back to Riomaggiore, got some gelato and called it a night. The next day was a travel day. Next stop…

* * *

Florence

Firenze

We got to Florence early because it’s either an early train or a way late train and since we had reservations for the Uffizi Gallery in the afternoon, we opted to get the early train instead.

We went straight to get lunch at a tiny whole-in-the-wall restaurant that my bro had been eyeing since his research. Florence, known for their beef and I was excited to get some steak again, especially if it is anything like the steak that we had in Milan.

We ordered one steak to share and a ravioli for our primi. The steak was great, but it tasted like the typical beef that I would get from Whole Foods. It wasn’t like the unique tastiness that was from Milan. It was still good though and I definitely wouldn’t mind eating it often.

After lunch, we explored the famous Central Market. It’s very similar to the Grand Central Market in DTLA. It was pretty cool. Little areas of butchers, veggies, seafood, and restaurants. Upstairs were all restaurants and prepared food already, kind of like an Eataly on drugs.

Too bad we already had lunch, but it’ll be a great place to just chill and eat.

Afterwards, we checked in, then explored the streets, and slowly made our way to the Uffizi Gallery to pick up our tickets for the museum.

The museum was cool, most like any other Italian Museum that we’ve been. It focuses on Christian Art, the Renaissance, the Madonna and the Bambino. The BABY JESUS!

That’s all art in Italy.

There were a few popular pieces that we’ve seen, like the Birth of Venus and such.

Afterwards, we’d explore some more and headed up to the Piazzale Michelangelo to get a great view of the city and kind of watch the sun go down. My bro isn’t a sunset type of guy, waiting to watch the sun set. Me on the other hand, I’m a romantic and that’ll be something I’d wait for. Slow things down.

Slow it down.

Slow.

We went back to the hotel afterwards to rest up and cleaned up for dinner.

The first night in Florence, we went to a restaurant where I would consider it a little upscale fine dining place. The prices and size of the dishes along with the type of menu pretty much screams it.

It was good.

We didn’t have reservations but were able to get a table as long as we are done with dinner by 9pm, since that’s the time when most people in Italy eat. We strolled in close to 8pm and we left with about 10 minutes to spare.

I like how Italians treat dinner service. It seems like they do about two services a night; somewhere around 7pm and then about 9pm and they expect that dinner takes around 2 hours to finish, hence if you walk into a restaurant past the scheduled service time and the tables are empty, they’ll still say they are full and you can’t get a table.

They expect dinner to lasts 2 hours and they don’t want to rush it and push it into the second seating.

It’s a very novel idea to me, especially in the states where they usually just find a table for you.

Tired, per usual, we didn’t do much after dinner. Close to 9, we stopped at a gelato shop for some dessert and then back to the hotel. It was probably the best gelato that we had in Italy.

My bro raved about the tiramisu gelato and that’s something that I’d had to try.

Florence, Day 2.

We didn’t have much planned today. We had another reservation at the museum. This time, it’s Michaelangelo’s David.

It wasn’t until I saw it that I see why it is a masterpiece. The detail that went into it was amazing. The gentle sloping and shaping of the veins was awe-inspiring.

After the museum, we decided to take the quick trip to Pisa and see the Leaning Tower.

The Leaning Tower.

At first sight, it was disappointing. It leaned, sure, but it’s a lot smaller than what I was expecting. I don’t know for some reason, in my mind I thought it was a tall tower that stretches into the sky, towering all over us like a skyscraper, but it wasn’t.

It was a quick trip there. We probably spent no more than an hour there.

We roamed around the campus park and saw many tourists standing on the pillars “holding up” the Tower. Ahh, cliche touristy shit.

We tried to find something to eat here, but the restaurant my bro yelped was closed and everything else looks whatever. I didn’t mind getting a sandwich, which I haven’t had, but we opted to go back to Florence to get lunch.

We had a late lunch, walking around finding something and snooping around Eataly. Nothing struck our fancy, but we managed to find something.

For dinner, we went to a little mom and pops and I have to admit, it was probably one of the best meals that we had. I ordered the Guinea Fowl and man, that was just awesome. The game flavor and the crispy skin. It was amazing.

Near the end of our dinner, two girls sat at the table next to us. I overheard them wanting to order wine, we still had a lot left, and we were almost done with dinner.

I gave the girls our leftover wine and then we just chatted for a bit. We talked about our trip and what’s next. The girls are from Toronto and they were going to Cinque Terre – Monterosso the next day. They planned to do the hike like we did and was wondering how difficult it was.

I asked one of them if they are big hikers and they weren’t. I told them they were fucked. They always had the option to take the trains if they’re tired and we just told them to take it easy. It’s not as bad as I made it out to be, even though, fuck, I haven’t sweated like that in years.

It was nice to meet new people while traveling and it was great to see my bro interact and socialize with them.

After dinner we went to the same gelato shop that we had before and this time I ordered the Tiramisu gelato. Calling it amazing doesn’t do it justice. It was just a light whipped cream type texture. It was just awesome. I still think about that gelato.

We called it a night. It was a travel day the next day.

* * *

Assisi

It’s a small town with a slow pace.

Besides the nature, ocean, and cliff views of Cinque Terre, Assisi had one of the better nature views of all the cities that we’ve been to.

We arrived early and wasn’t able to check in at the hotel yet, so we explored. My bro led the way, reading up on Rick Steves’s walking tour.

We stopped for lunch and that was my first umbricelli in a truffle mushroom sauce.

It was good.

It fascinates me when I usually make something first and have a certain expectation of how it should be and then when I eat it in the real world, it’s different from what I was expecting.

That’s how I felt about the umbricelli. It was different from what I was expecting. Good none the less, but different.

Checked in and we are ready to really explore.

We didn’t really have a destination so we just picked a direction and walked. That’s the best way to explore a city, to see things you wouldn’t normally see.
Wander and get lost.

In an afternoon, we saw most of what Assisi had to offer. I love the slow pace of the city and it was just chill.

We walked everywhere, just scoping out the scenery and the food.

The next day was the same. More walking and exploring a city that we’ve already seen.

After dinner, while my bro went on a walk to get more steps in, I opted to sit out in the balcony with a glass of wine just admiring the views and being alone.

It was in Assisi where I was able to get some alone time. We decided to go our separate ways and meet back for lunch at a restaurant that we’ve scoped out.

I got lost on my own, walking outside of the city walls and meandering the narrow streets that my feet have pounded many times before.

In the afternoon, our day was no different. My bro disappeared for a few hours while I took a nap so I went to the town center to just people watch and relax with an espresso.

Slow day. Nice day.

Rest day.

It was here that we actually dined in our Hotel Restaurant. The menu looked a little bit better in terms of options than the other place that was recommended by Rick Steves. Unfortunately, it was one of the least memorable meals too.

The next day was a travel day to our final destination…

* * *

Roma

Rome

All roads lead to Rome, and in our case, our train.

We had the longest stay in Rome. Two-and-a-half days, including the travel day.

We got to Rome in the early afternoon and tried to check-in, but it wasn’t ready. We gave the concierge our bags while we went to get some lunch and explore a little bit.

Once we checked-in, I had to find a laundry mat. There was one close by.

It’s a self-service laundry mat but the attendants are the one that put in the money and set the times. I dropped off the laundry, started the wash, and just left. I did the same for the dry.

With the laundry done, it was finally time to explore.

Our first stop, the Roman Coliseum, which was about a 20-minute walk from our hotel.

I think the Coliseum was the biggest disappointment for me, even more so than the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

I had a particular image in my mind of how it was going to be. Old, sacred, ruined, but yet majestic.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t much of that. It was so “modern” in the sense that there’s a stage for a concert and power lines everywhere. It didn’t feel ancient at all.

Disappointing.

Thankfully, the Coliseum ticket that we bought gets us into the Ruins, which was across the street. We didn’t have time to do it that afternoon so we opted to do it the next morning.

So, we explored again.

There were two subway/metro lines in the city, but we never took them to get around. Again, we walked everywhere. My bro was on a get as much steps as you can in a day kick.

We wandered and explored, visiting churches and cathedrals that we’ve passed along the way and then we ended up in The Vatican and St. Peter’s Cathedral.

We explored the exterior of St. Peter’s. Chairs were out for the Papal Audience the next day.

We got dinner around there so that we can come back to St. Peter’s Square and take a picture of it at night. Then we walked back to the hotel.

Rome – Day 2.

The second day started early, because of our museum entrance at 1 and we had The Ruins to explore.

The park opens at 8:30 or so and by 8, we were out the door and on our way. I like The Ruins better, but again, lots of modern stuff that ruin it.

It is what it is. It’s a tourist trap and we were tourists.

After The Ruins, we finally made it into Victor Emmanuel II Monument. It’s a beautiful building and monument for the country of Italy.

Then, it was to our main attraction, The Vatican and the Museum and Sistine Chapel.

We got there early, scoped out the museum entrance and then got some food.

The Museum was huge and crowded and the art was like any other Christian art from Italy. The Madonna and the Bambino Jesus!

But, there were pieces that were magical. The Sistine Chapel and the famous pieces, like The Creation of Adam. It’s just great to see it in person.

I actually didn’t know what to expect when it comes to that. I know that it was a piece of art on the ceiling. Maybe I had it in my head that it was the only piece and seeing all of these ceiling pieces, frescos, in so many churches, that I should have known that it was a piece amongst many on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

After, my bro and I did some stealthing and blended into a tour group so we can get free quick and easy access to St. Peter’s Basilica. We just followed a tour group through the entrance and voila, we were in.

The line to get into St. Peter’s Basilica was ridiculously long. Originally, we were going to upgrade our ticket, but we weren’t able to.

The inside of the church was AMAZING. It was ginormous and seeing so many other churches and cathedrals already, I was still blown away.

Maybe it was karma for sneaking in and not paying, but I saw a no photography sign before walking into St. Peter’s, so, I didn’t take any pictures.

Now inside, I saw so many people taking pictures. Left and right. Pictures pictures pictures.

But apparently, after doing a little more googling, it appears that you can take pictures, but no flash.

Sigh.

C’est la vie.

Maybe next time.

Next time.

We left the Vatican and saw the rest of the tourist traps of Rome.

Trevi Fountain was crowded and so were the Spanish steps. The Pantheon was crowded too and there was a long line.

Thankfully we went back after exploring some more when it was close to closing and they just ushered everyone in. No security check, just keep walking.

This day was the most tiring day because it was a long day and we took a shit ton of steps. At the end of the day, I was approaching 49K and my bro actually broke 50k.

Keeping that in mind, dinner started out as a shit show.

My bro had a restaurant in mind, but again, no reservations so they were booked for the night. We looked for other restaurants around that area and they too were packed. But we were smart enough to make reservations for the next night for that restaurant.

So, hangry and going for another search for another restaurant, we walked and walked and walked. We finally found another place and it turned out it was closed for remodeling or something.

We round another place up the street and we put our name down. It’ll be about a 30 – 40 minute wait, but it turned out to be an hour. While waiting, my bro suggested a different place and by this time , I was full on hangry mode. I just wanted to just wait, but might as well go and check out the menu. We looked at it and I just shook my head.

We went back and waited and it turned out to be a great meal, but man, was I in a bad mood.

Per usual, we walked back to the hotel, but it was close.

Day 3.

The last full day.

It was an easy and slow day that day. It was a much needed slow day.

We were going to Ostia Antica, a park that is a giant city of ruins. Unlike the Ruins the day before, we were able to roam around the ruins of the city and for me, it was a better experience.

We went to the train station and got some breakfast and saw a cream bun that I wanted to get so bad. It was so good.

Again, Ostia Antica was pretty cool.

While there, we met a Armenian family from Atwater Village. They flew out for a destination wedding and they decided to make a family vacation out of it.

They were pretty cool. We started chatting because they wanted me to take a picture of them. Both the father and daughter studied abroad in Italy while they were in college.

It’s funny how more socialable I am while on vacation. Of course, my bro was a little quiet here.

We took the train back and on the way back to the hotel, I stopped by a pastry shop to find a cream bun that I saw the day before. Unfortunately, they sold out, but the old pushy Italian Grandma shop owner decided to make me some. Instead of the pan/bread/bun they put the cream inside a croissant.

It worked, but it wasn’t the same, but good for her for trying. Pushy Italian Grandmas. You have to love them.

Dinner. Since we had reservations, it wasn’t a rush or an angry experience for me.

It was probably one of the best dinners we had while in Italy and it’s because of the food.

Oh, the roasted lamb. So good. Too bad I didn’t see the roasted kid on the menu that night, even though I saw it while we were turned away. I missed out on something new, but damn, that was good.

After dinner, we got our last gelato.

* * *

We had an early flight back to the US. 10AM.

We got up early to catch the train to the airport.

We roamed the airport, getting breakfast and scoping out the food and then we were on our way back. A 12-hour flight.

* * *

Oh Italia.

Such a beautiful country.

A beautiful place.

There’s so much to write about and I’m sure I’ll touch upon it on another post as this one is long enough.

I still have to talk about the food and the train system.

It’ll definitely be a place that I’ll visit again, whether it’ll be with family or by myself or with someone else; it’s a definitely must do again.

Until next time.

Ciao.

Been tired of late.

The heat and humidity lower to a more bearable level, but it’s still there.

My body tells me that I need to rest. I need to relax since I’ll be traveling at a break neck pace during my Italy trip.

It tells me to slow down, sleep, and rest.

I need to.

I don’t want to get sick while I’m on vacation. That would be the shittiest thing to ever happen.

It happened before and it put a small damper on the trip. Hopefully, I’ll recover before I leave.

Here’s hoping.

* * *

Work.

Work is busy as usual with the training classes that I’ve been doing all week and the project manager of the new SharePoint rollout.

People.

People get on my nerves. They annoy the fuck out of me.

I understand their frustration on certain aspect, especially when we are talking about Skype for Business not working well with some of our clients, but then again, there are certain things that we have no control over.

We have no control over their network speed. We have no control over the hardware that they are using. We have no control over their firewall.

I don’t understand what the issue is and I’ll have to test things out and see what would be the best solution to the problem.

They want a new platform while we already have one that works.

Money.

It’s not my money, so why do I care?

Just breathe.

Breathe.

* * *

Microsoft.

I need to stop getting so angry with them when I’m on a call with their IT.

But they frustrate me so much.

So so much.

They’re frustrating.

* * *

I’ve been in a pissy mood as of late.

A lot of it has to be me recovering from the cold and my body being tired.

Some of it has to do with Microsoft Help Desk and some of it is that I’m just tired of people

I’m moody. I’m PMSing.

I just want to get away from people. Get away from the city.

Going to Italy will help, but I’ll still be around people.

The state of affairs in the US isn’t helping things either.

Fuck people man.

Just fuck people.

Like, I told Elizabeth yesterday, “I’ve been busy…hating people.”

So fucking true.

Fuck people.

* * *

Weekends.

They are my days to myself.

They are my days to reenergize so I can face the week.

They are my sanctuary days.

Leave me alone.

Let me be.

Peace.

Solitude.

* * *

Hard to focus.

The Nyquil hangover is no joke.

Body is in a faux fatigue, drunk on Nyquil.

It’s telling me, what the fuck dude?

What the fuck?

Blah.

Getting a slow start today punching these buttons of mine.

Getting a slow start, getting out of bed today, even though it was at my normal time on the weekends.

Getting a slow start today because I’m still a little under the weather.

I guess it’s a good thing that I’m sick now and recovering than getting sick on my Italy trip.

Let’s rest up and chill and try not to get sick again.

Let’s eat up all the home cooked meals and put aside all the nasty shit that I’ve been eating that probably contributed to this little bug that I have.

Let’s cut out the sugar and the processed food like Papa John’s and other things.

Let’s get back to simplicity. Let’s get back to cooking.

Let’s get back to life.

* * *

The heat wave cools and the humidity lowers. Life becomes more bearable with each passing day. Nights are good to sleep in now.

Back to normal. Back to life.

* * *

The trip is about two weeks away and I still have so much to do.

I need to get more t-shirts and figure out exactly what to pack. How many pairs of pants, shorts, shoes? I know my bag is going to be heavy with the laptop and the camera, but they are essential for my travel.

I’m a photographer. I document my trips through my camera.

When’s the next time I’ll be going to Italy again? No idea.

I’ve carried heavier bags on hikes. Thankfully, the bag will only be on me for traveling days and will be sitting in the hotel room on venture days.

So much to do. So much to plan. So much to coordinate.

I’ll have time at work to do things.

What trains to take? How to take them? How to validate the tickets?

So much to take in. So much to prepare.

But I’ll enjoy it. I’m sure.

I’m traveling with my bro and he’s easy.

#2HosDoItaly

* * *

It’s a quiet Sunday.

A weird melodic piano music plays over the speakers in Volcano.

I don’t know what it is, but it’s loud and a little weird.

Distracting too.

Man, my writing gets shittier and shittier as the year goes by. I can’t focus on anything at all.

I miss the days where I’m able to just sit down and start typing away and have something that is worth something.

My mind wanders in so many places. Lack of focus.

Lack of something.

Lack of lacking.

Maybe I can’t write like this anymore as I get more comfortable in my own skin. Dramaless. Fixed or at least comfortable.

Who knows?

Maybe I need to get back into my prose or something creative. Something creative and open but structured and focus.

When I get back from my trip, I’ll start again.

I’ll look over what I have written and what I have left and come up with something.

Maybe.

Who knows?

I need to.

Blah.

Over.

Rey opens today.

She likes to keep the shop locked while she preps and today after letting me in, she decided to lock the door instead of leaving it unlocked.

She doesn’t like random people coming in thinking that it is open and wanting their tea.

I know that I put a damper on that because I’m in here, getting my special treatment, so I’m not complaining. I like the quiet. I like the solitude.

I’m locked in the shop and I’m okay with that.

The regular Saturday worker, the Viet girl behind the counter got dropped off early to start her shift. She couldn’t get in and I couldn’t help.

The dude from Tatsu couldn’t get in to get ice.

Different people work differently.

Rey’s not so open.

* * *

From time to time for the fuck of it, I’ll give people attitude.

It’s playful and I don’t mean it to be taken in a bad way that I don’t like that. It’s just my usual playground flirting or me being an asshole.

I was called out on it recently and I couldn’t stop laughing.

I gave her an empty promise to be nicer and I have. No shade was thrown.

I asked her how her day is and how she’s doing.

Of course one can sense the mocking tone of it, but that’s just me.

It’s all in jest and she takes it as that.

Later, while helping her out on another issue, she threw some sass my way for some particular reason. I wasn’t expecting it, but I was loving it.

It wasn’t directly at me, but she was sassy about the problem that came up.

Now, she’s become another little micro crush.

C’est la vie.

My life.

Micro crushes all around.

* * *

Peace.

Quiet.

Solitude.

Birthdays.

I want to hide mine and I did.

An interesting conversation came up when I told HR that I would like to hide my birthday. It was about the new cafe buildout and the birthday section. I wanted to see how they handle the list and where it comes from.

I heard rumors that we could hide our birthdays, but wasn’t sure and while I was there, they just did it.

I don’t like making a big deal out of it. I recalled a story about how when I was dating a Cat a few years back I told her that we’re not seeing each other on my birthday.

It’s something that I chose.

It’s what I wanted.

And that’s probably why I’m still single now as I tell them that I’m what millennials say, “Single as fuck”.

Of course there are many other reasons why I’m single.

Baggage. Fear. The lack of game, and of course, me wanting to be single.

I’m 38 and it seems that the older I get the less I try to rush myself or stress myself out about being in a relationship.

I have a lot to work on and I know I’m open to the idea and when I meet someone, who knows what will happen.

* * *

I know that how we see ourselves is completely different from how others see us.

I think I’m a very socially awkward person that’s very antisocial and doesn’t like to go out much.

Benjo doesn’t think I’m socially awkward at all.

I have my moments.

Rey believes that I’m mis-typing myself as antisocial and brought up funny examples as to how I’m not antisocial.

But there are times when I think how I’m at work in a way is different from how I am in my day-to-day.

I have my moments.

I’m okay depending on many variables. How many people do I know? What are we doing? How long have I’ve being doing something?

I just have a somewhat low tolerance for certain “social” things.

Me, on my own, I’m easy. I’m good. I’m in my element.

Me, around people, not so much.

I’m aware of all of these things, obviously.

It’s a constant work in progress.

Always.

* * *

Relaxing.

I’m slowly trying to get back into it.

All I’ve been doing on weekends is being lazy, watching Netflix or whatever shows or streaming platform, and cook.

The past weekend has been rough since I made a dessert last weekend and sugar somehow triggers a craving for more sugar and bad eating habits.

I’m trying to get back to more my usual food.

The sugar detox started and continues and I’m just a few days in. I think it’ll take at least another week before I’m totally clean of sugar from my diet, or at least added sugar or sweets.

It’s a process.

Then I need to go back into stretching and eventually back to yoga.

My back feels stiff again. My neck, another problem and I just had an adjustment a couple of weeks ago.

I won’t have another until I get back from Chicago.

I am still unsure exactly what I’m going to be doing out there.

Sohail is setting up the new virtual server or new server and I guess I’ll troubleshoot any workstation issues.

While I’m there I would love to upgrade everyone from Windows 7 to Windows 10 and fix any other issues that I can foresee coming up.

I’ll send out an email tomorrow letting the users know what is going to happen and to figure out a list of things to do.

Maybe they can push to get Janet to get the printer moved while I’m there and get their new filing cabinets, but I’m not holding my breath.

She’s something particular in terms of doing her job.

It just angers me.

Blah.

* * *