Last day.

Today’s the last day that I’m here.

Tomorrow is the long drive home.

Looking forward to it.

Looking forward to my cats.

Looking forward to the solitude.

Overall, looking back, the trip was good.

Barely left the house.

Busy busy in so many ways.

I was sick for a week.

Rest.

Chills.

Rests.

Sleep.

Video games.

In between were bouts of work.

Personal work.

My Midlife Crisis work.

Updating my resume. Updating my LinkedIn.

Working on my side hustle.

Work.

Work.

This whole trip was just an outlet for work.

No hikes.

No recreation.

Errands with Mom.

Dog walking.

Not typical at all.

In a way, it kind of feels like my trip home during the winter.

Barely leave the house. Run errands.

Rest.

Play video games or doom scroll reddit.

To be fair, the weather hasn’t been good this summer. Seems like the trend that’s been mid-August summers in WA nowadays.

Overcast and a big chilly.

Strange.

Global warming?

Climate change?

The apocalypse?

All possible.

I still have a cough that won’t go away.

Cough. Cough.

Overall, I think it was a decent trip.

I know it isn’t my typical trip during the summer, but it was good.

I got a lot of work done. I got some content for my channels, even though I wasn’t the one who cooked it…but it still fit my brand.

The Ngai Brand.

Vacation.

Better yet, workcation.

I don’t know if this would be the status quo from now on.

Doubt it.

It’s just this midlife crisis, this uncertainty of my future, and this drive for change that is shaping how this vacation turned out.

Each year will be different.

Maybe it’s a good idea that I took the time to focus on myself this time, get better…even though I did get sick.

I have a feeling it was either a cold or a mild case of Covid. The chills….and this lingering cough.

Who knows?

All I know is I’m going back to LA with a lot finished, started, and accomplished.

I just have to be proactive and stop procrastinating, especially with my job outlook.

I have all of the updates to update my resume and LinkedIn; I just need to sit down and actually fucking do it.

I’m heading back to a shit show that is the Agency’s RTO.

Only 53 desks with monitors for probably 300+ people.

Fucking what a joke.

All I can do is just fucking laugh, because it is just that fucking laughable.

Hahhaa.

Fuck.

Life.

This is my life.

What’s going to happen in the next few months until the New Year?

What’s going to happen when I get home?

No fucking clue.

Hopefully I’ll get back on some kind of schedule and stick with it.

I want to get back to exercising. Calisthenics. Walking. Stationary Bike. Yoga.

I want to still watch my Kdramas.

I want to still work on Ngai Sit Faan

I want to still play my video games.

I just have to be okay with not spending as much time as I usually want on these things and find a good routine that I feel that I’m accomplishing things but not so much that I overfill my time and not be able to just rest and chill.

Uncertainty.

Focus.

Content Creation.

I just started.

So far, it forced me to get back into cooking.

It forced me to get back into editing.

It forced me to get back into shooting.

It forced me to get back into directing.

It forced me to get back into something that I wanted to do.

It’s different, but it’s along the same vein.

It’s something.

Focus.

I’m thinking about the channel quite a bit.

The content.

The recipes.

The editing.

I’m feeling it all out.

I’m learning and failing and learning and failing.

I enjoy it.

I’m learning about clicks, likes, exposure.

I’m learning about it, and I’m trying to NOT chase Likes and subscribers.

Every post should be a learning experience.

I should have fun with this.

Again…it’s a side hustle.

But again, more importantly, it’s something to focus on. Something to put my energy in.

It’s something to get me out of this Sea Change that I need to get out of.

It’s a new direction, a new pivot in my life that I sorely need.

Maybe I’ll get some success.

Maybe I won’t.

But I tried.

I’m trying.

I’m doing.

That’s all that matters.

I’m putting myself out there and trying.

It’s for my sanity.

It’s for my mental health.

It’s for me.

For me.