Tired.

Beat.

Broken.

I’m old….

….and out of shape.

I have to come to terms with that. I have to come to the realization and face reality. I’m not young anymore.

No longer the young man with the energy to go on hiking trips and hike fast.

I’m old.

I hurt.

It sucks.

Hiking.

I’ve been in Sequoia National Park for the past two days doing some much needed hiking therapy before I head over to Fresno for Gi Fu’s memorial.

The first day I was there, I did my typical first day hike of Moro Rock, Crescent Meadow and then to the Sherman Tree.

Unfortunately, I forgot to download the map for Sequoia so I had to go off the pamphlet map.

I got lost and the hike ended up a lot further and longer than it needed to be. I was tired. By the time I got to Sherman Tree, I was already at 6.5 miles, and I have a 12-mile hike planned for the next day (today).

I decided to take the shuttle back. I haven’t taken a shuttle in a NP in a long ass time, maybe in the Rocky Mountains NP with my brother to get us back to the parking lot since it was so far away.

Usually, I would just hike back but I didn’t want to risk getting lost again and having the hike turn out a lot longer than it needed to be.

I was beat. I was tired.

I waited at the wrong bus station for close to an hour to only then ask where the proper shuttle was.

I should have asked sooner.

Lesson learned.

Lesson. Learned.

I made it back to my car…late and then I had a long ass drive back to the hotel.

What I planned to get back to the hotel by 4pm turned out to be 7pm instead.

So tired. So broken.

Which then brings us to today….

Sequoia National Park – Day 2

Lakes Trail.

The plan was to hike to Heather Lake and Emerald Lake and depending on how I’m feeling, to finish off at Pear Lake.

One way:

Heather Lake: 4.1 mi
Emerald Lake: 5.1 mi
Pear Lake: 6.2 mi

So I knew it was going to be a good long rough hike day. It was all up hill to the Alpine Lakes.

I ended up only going to Emerald Lake. I had the energy to go to Pear Lake, but there was a group ahead of me that turned around because there were too many mosquitos.

I have bites all over my arms and legs from sitting at Emerald Lake for like 5 minutes. So, I decided not to go to Pear Lake. I made it to my goal anyway, so why push it.

I ended up finishing the hike with a total of 10.9 miles and finished in about 4:40 hrs. with a total of 1619 calories. I averaged about 2.3 miles an hour.

It wasn’t bad, but the whole time I was going up, I kept thinking that I’m not keeping up with my typical 3+ mph speed that I normally do.

My hubris. I used to think that I’m a fast hiker. I tell people and friends that I like to hike alone because I typically hike fast.

In a sense, I guess I still do. I passed a few groups while I was hiking, but I don’t know, the whole time I kept comparing this trip to like some ghost avatar that holds the record of my typical speed.

It felt like I’m racing against the Gran Turismo ghost car when you try and do a time trial and there was a part where I realize, I need to stop doing that.

I’m older, I’m out of shape, so yeah, I slow down. It’s normal. It’s natural.

I should go at whatever pace that I’m comfortable with. Sometimes it’ll be faster and sometimes I’ll be a lot slower or sometimes it’ll be just the same speed.

I guess I’m comparing my speed to my typical walking speed of when I’m out walking the neighborhood.

I can’t compare my hiking trips to that. I can’t. They aren’t the same thing.

I’m walking on flat streets when I’m doing my 3+ mph.

For this hike, I’m hiking an incline with an elevation gain of 2K feet in 4.1. miles to the first lake.

Of course I’m going to be slower.

Of course it’ll take me longer. It’s a tougher hike. It’s a tougher walk.

I have to stop racing myself. I have to stop and just enjoy the hike.

Life isn’t a race, especially not against yourself.

Grace.

You are older.

You are out of shape for things like this.

It’s not a competition.

The end goal is all the same, you get to your destination.

Which I did.

Stop racing ghosts.

Life is too short and it’s so not worth it.

Aging gracefully means you come to terms with your limitations and accept them.

Sigh.

Oh, to be young again. To be young again.

It’s all about the journey.

Never really about the destination.

For the longest time I would always focus on the journey. That’s the important thing, the journey.

I’m always focus on the hike.

The destination always takes a back seat.

I would spend 3 hours hiking to a great waterfall or to the destination and would only rest there for like 10-15 minutes before I am ready to hike back.

It’s always been that way.

I guess on a longer more philosophical sense, I already know what the destination for everyone is going to be, and that’s the end game.

Death.

So, the more important thing is how you get there. It’s all about your journey.

How you lived your life.

How you experience life.

How you treat people.

How you treat others.

How you just be.

That’s the important thing.

The journey.

Death (the destination) will always be there. Its inescapable.

So why sweat it.

Acknowledge it and focus on what matters; how you got there.

Live the journey.