It’s been a while since I’ve written anything.

But it seems that it is sooner than my post pandemic routine.

It’s something I’m trying to get back into. It’s something that I need to do to maintain a better sense of self.

So here I am, typing away. I need to find a new routine, or a new inspiration to write.

Let’s see how it goes.

Dreams.

Not the dreams that I aspire to have, but dreams that I have at night.

It’s been a while but I use to keep a dream journal. I would wake up most mornings and then write down what I remember about the dreams I had that night.

Eventually I stopped.

Not sure why, but I did.

So, as a way to get back into writing, I decided to try and just post things about the dreams I had the night before.

How often will I do it, I’m not sure, but let’s see how it goes.

I had these dreams a few nights ago.

I don’t remember much from the last night, but here goes.

May 5, 2025

Dream 1
Not sure what the context is, but I remember something about Pete.

Whether he’s there to tell some new associates how things are done or how things use to be done and I’m walking away from them.

I think this kind of bleeds into the next dream, but I’m not sure.

Dream 2
I’ve leaving the office. It seems like I’m walking home, but the office area isn’t what it really is.

It looks a little like a suburb neighborhood instead of like our current business park.

It’s dark out, night and I’m walking alone.

I vaguely remember some interaction with Paula or that she was just there and I left.

Eventually I get to a night/farmer’s market or something. I went to a stall to get tortillas and it seems like it is one of my regular stops and I would always get tortillas.

But something is different this time. Instead of making me tortillas, they are making me Chinese hamburgers instead.

I think I felt a little taken back with it, but I rolled with it and didn’t really care.

That’s all I remember from that one.

It’s not a good start with it since there isn’t much detail, but it’s something.

It got me to write something and post.

Hopefully I can get more up or get back into writing more.

Whether it is just this little void of mine or something else.

We shall see.

We shall see.

Work.

Update.

So, they hired someone. It’s a friend of the Controller’s, someone who he had work with before.

He’ll be starting in June.

Someone spoke to the Controller yesterday, asking for a little more clarification of what is happening since there’s a lot of uncertainty about our jobs and our positions and whether there’s an agenda.

He says no, there is no agenda, no directive for the new guy to come and replace us or gut the department. Nothing.

They just want to know if there’s anyone in the department that isn’t doing anything or is only like doing 2 hours of work.

With that mindset, it’s obvious that these decision makers don’t really know or understand how IT works. We aren’t doing much until something is broken. When things break, that’s when we work.

I’m project based. Sure, I do have some daily tasks that I check up on and do/monitor, but if I’m not on a big project or asked to do/build something, I’m not doing much.

Sigh.

Do I trust what he says.

Not one fucking word.

But that’s me.

Let’s play it by ear and see how it goes.

Sigh.

Life.

Fuck.