Here we are. Here we go.

Another time around our start, another turn around Sol.

Here’s to another number.

46.

I’m 46.

Yay me.

I’ve pass the number that I feared the most.

Each year more is another year that my dad never had and I should cherish it.

I’ll cherish it.

Here I am in my motel, on the day of, writing my little yearly number change.

I’m in the middle of my #specialweek and there’s been a lot on my mind lately.

I don’t know how this one will go, but I’ll give it a shot.

45.

How was it?

Overall, it wasn’t bad.

Thinking back, nothing really stuck out to be bad or extra extra great.

It was status quo.

I continued to live and live on my own terms like I normally do.

I was able to breathe and it felt great.

I managed my routine and settled into it.

Life is life.

Work is work and I’ve been doing well at work. Completed my projects, even those that I couldn’t get a grasp on, but I knocked it out of the park.

Status quo.

There are times when I feel that status quo isn’t enough and that I should live more. Like basic status quo should be something that I’m ashamed of.

No.

I shouldn’t.

My life is good.

There are times when I do find myself just uncontrollably smiling and feeling deep content while walking Galette with the sun shining in my face.

Life is good.

Life is good.

46.

Let’s continue that and maybe if more exciting things come along, be open to it.

I’m always open to it…sometimes.

Let’s see.

46.

Be a good one.

There’s been a lot on my mind recently and it’s mostly about work.

Work changed.

They fired Benjo and there’s going to be a lot of changes in the office and the department.

They fucking raped him and got rid of him for the stupidest unjust reasons.

It’s so fucked that my feelings for the agency have gone 180.

I know it’s not the executive leadership’s problem but the owners’ problems. They are fucking everything up to make a buck.

Fuck them.

So, 46.

You have choices to make.

What are you going to do?

You love the flexibility and the security you have had, but will that change?

Will the flexibility be there? I don’t know. Will the security be there? I don’t know.

There will be a new boss and how will I get along with him/her? I don’t know.

One of the main reasons why I never thought about looking for another job was because I enjoyed working for Benjo. He was pretty hands off and trusted in what I did.

I didn’t want to go through another chem check with a new boss and new coworkers.

But now, with a new boss, I’m going to have to do a chem check anyway, so why not?

I have decisions to make.

Do I stand for what happened or tell them to fuck off?

Do I jump ship before everything gets fucked of do I ride it out until it goes under and maybe get some severance.

I have 20+ years left of working before I can retire.

I need to get rich.

So, 46…it’ll be a number for big decisions.

Am I ready to make it?

I don’t know, but I’m going to think about it long and hard and try not to make any brash decisions.

Let’s see how it goes.

46.

Be mature.

Be strong.

Be an ADULT.