Here we are. The last third of the year.

How is it September already?

I don’t know, but the year has gone by.

How am I?

Better.

I am better. The lack of motivation to do anything is still there, but that dread and cloud of ennui isn’t there anymore or isn’t as prominent.

It’s always May.

Fuck May. May Gray.

That’s always a hard time, especially this year.

I got through it.

I understood it.

I processed it.

I’m at the other side….for now.

Let’s see how long this goes.

We’re far from the shallows now

Day 2.

My motivation is still lacking.

It’s been my life for the past couple of years.

Lazy.

I have no desire to do much of anything.

It’s work.

Nap.

TV.

Movies.

Video Games.

Memes.

Nothing gets done.

But…the most important thing, I’m out of that funk that I was feeling earlier in the year.

That approach to my bday and the anniversary of my dad’s passing was a dark time for me.

Depression.

But…I made it out. I’m in the light.

Literally.

The summer had been great. Not much rain. Hot summer days.

There were a few days where it was really hot, but overall, it’s been a temperate year.

I’m in the light, walking, soaking up the vitamins and listening to whatever audiobook to pass the time.

I can only do the bare minimum.

Ambition to do much of anything, gone.

So, what’s been happening in the past couple of months?

I got a surprise call from an old friend on my drive back from the PNW. It’s been so long since I spoke to her and she’s going through some fucked up stuff.

I really can’t help her with much of anything. I just hope that she’s doing okay.

Work is work.

The flow of work comes and goes. I have my busy days and I have some chill days.

I’m not sure what the state of the business is, but with the world, things don’t look good. I hope we make it through.

I hope I still have a job.

I still go in a couple of times a week and it honestly does help with my mental health.

Just being able to chat and talk to some people really does help. I’m glad I have that option.

X days later.

A few months later.

November.

It’s been a while since I continued on this.

It’s never been this long. I considered posting or maybe deleting all that was above and start anew but thought fuck it. Let’s continue.

…continue.

It’s November now.

Hopefully I’ll finish this or post enough or get enough of what I want to say out of the way and have a worthwhile post.

So, here goes.

Going.

Hahhaa, I’m procrastinating again.

What have happened this year? So much, but so little.

I went to Mexico City and explored since I started this little entry of mine. I went on a full fledge one week vacation since I started this one single entry.

Procrastination.

Lack of motivation.

It’s a bitch.

It’s hard trying to get things done. It’s hard trying to find some semblance of routine and healthy motivation.

The pandemic really fucked that up for me.

It’s been 3 and a half years, and I still haven’t figured out a good routine on doing my writing….any kind of writing.

Hopefully I can figure something out.

Mexico City.

It was great. I didn’t do much besides walking and exploring and eating.

It was a great first trip to get a lay of the land so I can figure out more things to do the next time I visit.

I visited a few museums, had some street food and some fine dining. It was not unlike any of my typical city vacations.

I definitely want to go back and explore some more and eat some more.

Maybe I’ll dedicate some time and write all about it.

Let’s hope.

What else have been happening?

Korean culture.

Some time back in late August or early September I fell down the Blackpink rabbit hole. I watched the documentary on Netflix and I was obsessed with everything Blackpink.

I watched all of the YouTube videos that I can find and their concert diaries.

I’ve been listening to their music nonstop while I’m working.

Blackpink 24/7 365.

Watching all of the videos and interviews, I got a good sense of their personalities and Jisoo is my bias.

She’s just very goofy, quirky, and cool. Very confident and smart and doesn’t take herself too seriously. That’s a good combo to have as a person.

With the obsession of needing to watch everything Blackpink, I found a Korean variety show called Running Man.

It’s hilarious and I subscribed to Kocowa to start watching the shows.

This of course leads to Kdramas and I’m hooked.

I’ve watched a few already. Moving was great. Crash Landing on You was amazing.

I got some recommendations from Alisara and watched Start-Up and now I’m obsessed with Bae Suzy.

Me and my fickle heart and obsessions.

So, that’s my life right now. Kdramas, memes, and video games.

Sigh.

Work is happening and I can’t focus on this.

I really wanted to write something about fate and signs. Something I use to believe in and now, I don’t know. I used to see so many things that I considered as signs.

Many of my early early entries touched upon this subject, but as I gotten older, it had become a thought forgotten.

Watching all of the Kdramas, it seems like many of the leads are destined/fated to end up with each other and it just got me thinking….what happened to my belief in it?

Maybe that’ll be another post. Who knows?