Life on the other side.

To be out.

Exploring.

Nature.

Public.

What was it like?

What is life…..?

A few weeks ago during the first few phases of the state reopening – a little too soon, but it is some minor progress – I decided that I needed to get away.

No work.

Took an extra long weekend.

I needed to get out, to do some hiking, to do one of my mental health hike and wine weekends.

I decided to go up to Paso Robles again to do some wine tasting and hiking.

Pinnacles National Park was an hour-and-a-half away.

Perfect.

The Friday started off late with an issue with work that pretty much plagued the whole day and tinged the weekend.

MediaOcean issues.

Work.

I had rough plans for the weekend. Friday was an easy drive out to Hearst Castle State Beach and do a hike along the peninsula.

There were so many emails going back and forth that day with the MediaOcean issues that I had a call or two with a few users and many emails with MO. When I parked at my first hiking destination for the day, I had to get onto the server and make a few updates.

Worked.

There were issues that lingered that I couldn’t help so I ignored much of everything after that.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the trail to the path, so I went back to Moonshine State Beach and did half the hike that I did last time.

It was beautiful and nice but strangely uncomfortable all at the same time.

This was my first time out of the city where masks are mandatory out in public if you can’t maintain social distancing.

Not many masks around.

Uncomfortable.

It was like culture shock.

I did my best to keep my mask on or tie it up when I’m around people or passing people.

It was the same when I got to Paso.

I had a 5pm dinner reservation at Les Petites Canailles. Walking downtown Paso, again, culture shock. No masks or not many on people.

It was like it was normal, like Covid-19 never really happened.

There really wasn’t much I can do. I felt safe in the restaurant though. Tables were spaced far apart and the staff did wear masks.

The food was good. I had the tartar again. That was great. I ordered the pork chop again, but they definitely did it differently than the last time I was there. It was either deep fried or just pan fried then deep fried or put in the salamander to finish off. Doesn’t matter, because it was over cooked. It wasn’t bad, but disappointing considering how great it was the last time I was there in November.

The wine.

Amazing.

The experience, I definitely miss it.

Not just the party-of-one experience, but the whole dining out experience.

That normalcy.

Life.

I definitely missed it after being quarantined for so long.

I guess it was a little getaway to the new normal of everyday life to some weird back to pre-Covid normalcy.

It was a vacation away for the world.

I didn’t do any tastings that night. I had the two glasses of wine, finished dinner and then walked around downtown to digest and get more exercise in since I didn’t get as much hiking in as I wanted.

The next day, Pinnacles.

I didn’t know what to expect. I woke up early and made my way, getting there a little after 7:30.

It’s a park that you kind of drive to different parking lots and explore from there. No shuttle service or what not.

Strangely, you can’t drive through the whole park.

With lock down, the only thing you can do is park at the visitor center and then hike in. It was a good 2 miles from the visitor center to the main trailhead.

I didn’t have much of a plan since I didn’t do much research on the park, but I had an idea.

There are two cave systems at Pinnacles but they were closed. I remember reading that somewhere, but wasn’t aware until I started the hike.

I did the Bear Gulch Trail towards the cave and then up to the High Peaks Trail and did one giant loop. With that, I saw about half of the park.

According to my Fitbit, I did about 13 miles that day. I would probably say I did close to 11 miles that day. The giant loop itself was probably 6-7 miles already and then I had to count the hike to and from the visitor center.

Overall, it was a good day. It was nice to be out in nature, hiking, sweating, having the sun beat down on me.

My meditation. My Zen.

Again, not many people wearing masks on the trail.

We have to manage with stops and turning around and not breathing. I had my mask down until I needed to pass someone and it’s back on.

I was finished and back to my car around 12:30. A 5-hour hike.

It got a lot crowded throughout the day and that definitely didn’t jive well with me. Some of the trails are narrow. Hard to social distance.

Glad I’m an early hiker.

But the views are grand.

The might California Condors gliding through the high mountains were simply majestic.

It was a much much needed outing and I need another one.

I couldn’t decide if I should gotten lunch when I got back. I got back too late so I went back to the hotel and crashed.

I hurt.

Everything hurt.

I went to explore downtown a little early that day so I can do some tastings. I only went to one winery, CaliPaso. It was more a wine bar than a tasting room.

Again, no mask. No social distancing. It was different.

I had a good time there. I enjoyed their wine. I wanted to get back and get a bottle, but I forgot.

For dinner, I went to the Italian Restaurant, Il Cortile Ristorante. It was still good, as I had a pasta primi dish and a grilled ribeye. I needed the protein. Was craving steak and I had a nice chill seat outside.

The wine. Great.

There, I met a couple from San Francisco whom like everyone else needed a much needed getaway from their newborn and the quarantine.

The husband invited me to sit down with them and I’m sure the wife was annoyed as fuck. Too funny. The husband was definitely an extrovert. I’m on the fence about her.

I put their bottle of wine on my tab. The least I could do for them sharing their wine with me and inviting me to chat with them at their table.

I guess I needed some social contact too.

After dinner, I walked around downtown debating if I should go for a tasting, but decided that I was too tired. I got some Cold Stone and went back and crashed.

Sunday.

Sunday. Sunday. Sunday.

My last day in the city. I planned on leaving early the next day like I normally would so I had a full day in the apartment to unwind.

I didn’t have solid plans.

I decided to go and check out some wineries on the east side of town on the 46. I didn’t realize there’s like a giant strip mall there.

The first winery that I went didn’t do any tastings. Only brunch which I wasn’t interested. I drove around that giant complex and found another winery, Mitchella, and it was great.

I didn’t have an appointment/reservation but they squeezed me in. I didn’t want to make the effort of making an appointment so I didn’t get to do as many tastings as I want. I would have to plan accordingly next time if quarantine is still in effect.

They had a decent tasting with a cheese pairing. I enjoyed it. I couldn’t decide on which two wines to get, but I decided on the Malbec. I’m venturing out from my usual Cab and I think it’ll be great for me.

After, I tried to do another tasting room but again, appointments or no walk-ins, so I decided to get some lunch instead.

I went to Firestone Walker Brewery for a nice burger. Their food wasn’t bad.

I got to do some beer tasting too. Definitely would need to pay them another visit. Apparently there’s a Firestone here in Venice. Worth a trip I think.

After lunch I went back to the hotel room and relaxed.

There were some plumbing issues at this cheap motel so they put me in a double room for the night. Next time, I’ll be looking at a different location, maybe something closer to downtown?

Who knows?

But I do know there will be a next time.

Dinner, I went cheap. Mexican. A good meal for less than $30.

I was so full that I didn’t do much after. I thought about getting the bottle from CaliPaso, but they closed. Many wineries closes early on Sunday.

Next time for sure.

Next time though, I would need to plan things out. Make appointments. Make it worth it.

* * *

Now, here we are.

Back to life. Back to reality.

For how long?

The foreseeable future.

We’re fucked.

‘Murica!

But I did get a standing desk and a new office chair. We’ll be working from home for who knows when, might as well make it better for me.

Sitting for work for the past couple of months definitely hurt me. Haven’t felt so tired in so long. One of the reasons why I’ve made me own standing desk in the office.

Been doing the standing thing for about a few days now and I definitely feel a lot less tired after my day.

It was worth the investment.

Life.

New normal.

Sigh.

Till the next whenever.

Sigh.

What is life?

What is life?

What is it even?

Where are we?

What day is it?

Does it even matter anymore?

Questions.

So many questions.

Sigh.

Life.

Just another day in a series of endless days with no end in sight.

106.

It’s been 106 days since we’ve been in this new normal.

Quarantine.

Safer at home.

We’re all here, just trying to survive.

Another day of just not going crazy and staying sane, finding something else to focus on besides this fucking shit show that is America right now.

Quarantine.

Day 106.

Independence Day 2020.

The ironic thing, as we are trapped in our own isolation because of COVID-19, it’s people’s cry of independence and infringement of mask laws that are keeping us here.

People.

They’re the worst.

We’re the worst.

Sigh.

2020.

The shit show continues, but now, we’re in the 2nd half.

What does it have instore for us?

Who the fuck knows?

* * *

 

What happened since the last time I posted her?

Lots but nothing much all at the same time.

Pickles continues to be Pickles as we continue to figure out how bad his health really is.

He continues to get better and then bad again and then I get paranoid and put him back on meds and then I freak out again as he gets worse.

I don’t know what to do.

The sign of a cough or hearing it at night just puts me in a frenzy of not knowing what is the best thing for him.

He hasn’t lost his appetite as he continues to eat and function as her normally does.

His pace slowed.

Only doing the half normal walk that we do, and even then that’s a slow struggle for him.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know.

One day at a time. That’s all that we can do and that’s all that I can handle.

He’s 15.

In the new dog age calculator, that makes him about 74.3 years old.

He’s an old old man. He’s been an old old man and that comes with old old man complications.

He’s 15.

I got him 14 years ago. So long ago.

He was 8 months.

The funny thing is for some reason I kept thinking he was 5 months instead of 8 and so I always thought his birthday was in August.

June.

He turned 15 in June.

How long does he have left?

I don’t know.

I don’t want to think about it.

Not today.

* * *

 

Relish.

She’s fine.

Normal.

Loving and bitchy.

The QUEEN.

* * *

 

This particular week has been a little trying for me, especially for the past couple of days.

On Tuesday night I got some bad news.

It was late, past midnight. I got up to take Pickles out for his midnight pee and as I opened my front door I found a police officer and a medical examiner outside my neighbors door.

Malinda.

She passed.

The medical examiner was the coroner and they just removed her body from her apartment.

She passed in her apartment alone and no one knew. She could have been gone for a few days or possibly a few weeks.

No one knew.

The wretched smell wafted from her apartment.

She’s been gone a while and no one knew.

I don’t even remember the last time I saw her. Has it been only last week or has it been longer? Did I see her as she was leaving her apartment to go on her walk to the grocery store? Or did I see her on her struggled walk to the grocery store.

I don’t remember.

Only images and memories float in my mind as I try to recall. No dates. No time. Just images.

I liked Malinda. Sure she had her issues. Anger issues and a little OCD, but she was always nice.

I’m sad to see her go and especially in that way. But I do hope she’s in a better place.

No pain and with the ones she loved.

It was a rough day for me the day after.

I was in my head. Dark stormy thoughts floated in and out.

I haven’t felt that old friend of mine in so long.

It was foreign yet familiar all at the same time.

Darkness – My Old Friend.

What if it had been me? What would happen if I was the one who died alone in my apartment? How long would my body be there before anyone realize, especially in our new normal of Social Distancing.

What would happen to Pickles and Relish? What would they do?

Would I die alone?

Will I always be alone?

Dark thoughts.

Black thoughts.

They came. I acknowledge the feel and allowed myself to feel and experience them. It took its course and went on its way.

I didn’t dwell. I didn’t spiral.

It came and then it went.

Sigh.

Life.

* * *

 

The World.

The States.

We’re fucked.

Out of any developing country in the world, the States can’t control Covid. Our numbers are rising. More infected. More dying.

The Orange Tard isn’t doing anything about it. We’ve given up. He’s lost the war and his base still believes he’s done a great job.

The World looks at us as a fucking plague. We can’t travel anywhere since THE OTHER MOTHERFUCKING COUNTRIES ARE DENYING ANY US CITIZEN ACCESS TO THEIR COUNTRY BECAUSE WE CAN’T CONTROL THE FUCKING VIRUS.

I don’t blame them. I would have done the same.

Mexico closed their borders to us.

Holy fuck.

The irony.

The United States of America is fucked and yet, here we are: Mission Accomplished

FUCK YOU Trump.

Just

FUCK

YOU

* * *

 

FUCK CHINA.

They passed the National Security Law in Hong Kong, basically remove any autonomy and freedoms of speech that they had.

FUCK CHINA.

I’m sadden, angry, and disheartened that no one is stepping up to fight this.

It’s International Law & Politics and I’m not expert, but can’t wall just agree that China is asshoe and that they are a horrible country with horrible track record of human rights?

Look at the concentration camps and possible ethnic cleaning of the Uyghurs.

FUCK CHINA.

At this point, I don’t care if I get banned and flagged by them.

FUCK CHINA.

Sigh.

* * *

 

No one realizes that the Apocalypse is a slow burn instead of the raining fire and brimstone that they see in movies.

The world slowly dies.

And we are here to watch.

I haven’t even mentioned the killing of George Floyd and the nationwide protests of the #BlackLivesMatter movement and the #defundthepolice movement against policy brutality.

It’s a sad time we live in, especially here in America.

We’ve fallen so far.

The Greatest Nation in the World is no different than any other Shit hole country that The Orange Tard hates.

Sigh.

* * *

 

Day 106 of quarantine.

Let’s settle in for the long haul since numbers are going up and up again as we reel back our reopening.

We reopened too soon and now here we again.

Yay ‘murica!

Yay indeed.

WEAR A FUCKING MASK! It’s not that fucking hard you bunch of Ken and Karens

Sigh.