Classes are over.

Submitted my Advanced SQL final a few days ago and I’m ready to chill. I’m going to take a week or two off before I get back to the outstanding Python class and then start something new.

The next few classes will be online classes through EDX or some other online school. No UCLA on the agenda for the next few quarters. I need to know when I’m not traveling so I can be available to go into class if needs be. I’m not worried about classes where they are free, but if I’m paying for UCLA Extension classes, I should be available.

I wasn’t too worried for the Intro to SQL because I knew SQL.

These days.

It’s all about being better and learning more. I have a lot riding on this big project. I want it to help the agency. I want to help everyone involved and make their work easier. It’s all about efficiency.

Let’s do this.

Again, if it works, maybe I can pivot into a different role within the agency and change my day to day from SharePoint to more of a data science field. I’m working towards it.

Work.

It’s taking over my life, but it’s a good take over. I feel important. I feel like I’m doing something a little different and learning new things and making an effort to be a better person.

Work.

Work.

2019.

We’re a good 2.5 months in and in a month, it’ll be rolling another number.

It’s a year of change.

I can already see it. I can already feel it.

Change.

Positivity.

Being better.

Change.

There’ll be a lot of change, as I gear up for 40.

It’ll be a new phase in Adulthood.

It’ll be a new phase in live.

A few weeks ago, I had a weird dream that was about the change.

My car was wrecked. Totaled and I don’t know how it got that way.

I don’t remember much of the details of how my car got wrecked. I don’t remember driving. I don’t remember if it was even my fault.

All I remember was me walking around my car looking over the damage. The whole time surveying the car, I kept thinking that I have to have a fucking car payment now.

I kept thinking about money and how it’s going to affect my life. I was worried about money.

Usually when I wreck my car in the dream, I’m usually the one driving. It’s usually me driving a manual transmission, which I know how to drive, but am not a pro at. My life is out of control. The car, my life, is under my guidance, and I couldn’t control it and I flip and damage the car.

I usually wake up or move onto the next dream after the wreck. I don’t see the car. I don’t see the aftermath. All I know is me in my car, upside down. I done fucked up.

This dream was very different. I don’t remember being behind the wheel. I don’t even think I was the one driving.

I survived. I see the aftermath of the damage. I’m surveying it. My life, over.

I need to get a new life and it’ll be expensive. It’ll put me in debt.

My life. It’s over.

I have a new one.

Very interesting.

Change.

Endings.

Beginnings.

2019.

40.

Just around the corner.

A new me.

A better me.

A different me.

Change.

Me.

It’s been a while since I’ve gone to a happy hour. Went to one on Thursday.

It was for Nikki’s going away. I think she was the first one on my shit list. She’s going to some digital agency doing social media for some biotech or something. No idea, but I had an interesting conversation with her.

Confidence.

Intimidating.

I see myself in a different way than how most of my peers see me.

I have two dichotomous personas. One is my normal day to day when I’m by myself and not at work. The other is my work persona.

Everyone knows my work persona. They see me as the angry social butterfly that I tend to be at work.

I see myself as the boring quiet hermit that has no friends.

Many see me as the smart, confident, sometimes intimidating guy who knows his shit.

I’ve been hearing a lot from many people that they like my fuck people philosophy and directness and forwardness.

I do believe, fuck people, ’cause fuck people. They’re the worse.

And honestly, I just don’t like bullshit. Just fuck the bullshit and get to the truth of everything. Don’t beat around the bush, be direct and tell me what you want. I ain’t got no times for games.

I ain’t got no time for social decorum.

I found it a little funny that N-Funka told her boy that she liked me and that I spoke to her soul.

Fascinating.

But, it’s good to see and hear that people like me for who I am.

I guess it’s always nice to be liked.

Here’s to be liked.