I’ll follow you into the dark…

Zen.

Calm.

Tired.

Every time I go floating I come out tired. Drained.

It’s a good drained. A good tired.

It’s like a feeling of deep rest.

I noticed something this time that I didn’t really noticed before. During the times when I’m able to focus and clear my mind, besides the auroras of green that I usually see when I close my eyes, I see a shade of blue and gray.

I don’t know what it means, if it means anything, but I never noticed it before.

Sometimes the blue would sparkle and brighten, then fade into the muted blue gray as it twirls and dances with the green.

Maybe that’s the color of my aura?

I don’t know.

I don’t know what it means, but it’ll be interesting to find out.

Looking at some website, it seems that people who have blue auras are some of the most loving, nurturing, and supportive personalities of the life colors. They live from their heart and emotions. Source: Aura Colors

It’s fitting I guess, if it is true.

I don’t know how much to believe in it. Again, I don’t know what my real color is.

Tired.

Loving.

I lead from the heart.

The heart huh?

The 29th.

A few more days and it’ll be the New Year.

I’m making my way through the things that I wanted to do during the break.

I’m cleaning.

I’m clearing out some clutter.

I’m finishing up my python online class.

Slowly.

I’m chipping away at it.

I signed up for a Power BI class that’ll start on the 31st.

Slowly.

So much to do. So little time.

It’s not that I don’t have time. I have all the time in the world, especially during the break.

I’m lazy.

I’ve been focused on something else during the break.

Art.

Digital Art.

Drawing.

Painting.

It’s by happenstance really.

It’s all because of the new laptop. It came with a stylus/pen and that gave me an idea to do some drawings and now I’m hooked.

I’ve been wanting to go back to fine art for a while now.

I’ve always wanted to learn how to paint.

I’ve always wanted to get back into drawing.

Now’s my chance.

It’s not like I never had opportunities before. I did.

I could have gone the old manual paper, pencil, and pens way, but that’s just too much.

I’m lazy.

This might give me more of an incentive to get back into it.

Formal art classes.

Drawing classes. Painting classes.

I don’t know.

We shall see.

It’ll definitely be a part of this growth that I’m going through. It’ll definitely be a part of this adulting process.

It’ll be good.

I’ve been doing this for a few days now and finished two pieces.

One’s an abstract piece.

Modern art.

I put color to canvas and tried all the tools and options to figure out how to use the tool. It’s a piece where I was fucking around with the software.

Now I know why so many love to do abstract modern art. It’s easy. Put paint where it feels right.

There’s no wrong in the process.

When you think you are done, you are done.

The other piece was my first attempt at making a landscape painting like Bob Ross.

Total fail.

I didn’t have some of the necessary concepts. I didn’t understand the tools and brushes that I was using.

I’m going through a video tutorial now and this one actually looks decent.

I’m definitely getting into it.

I find it relaxing.

I find that I don’t think much about anything while I’m doing these paintings. It’s like when I’m cooking, I only focus on this one task.

I think it’ll be something that I’ll fall back on when I need to unwind and zen out.

It’s soothing.

It’s another form of meditation.

I need all of the outlets that I can get.

Looking forward to getting better though.

I have such high ambitions on where to take my art. I need patience.

Practice makes perfect.

Keep practicing.

Keep doing.

I do admit I was a little ambitious on my first attempt. I wanted to make a painting of a picture I took when I was up north. It’s the square picture of that pyramid shaped rock on the beach during the Odessa Lake hike.;

Too ambitious. Didn’t know what I was doing.

That’ll be a goal for next year.

I’ve already decided that I’ll do at least 10 pieces next year.

I’m sure I’ll do more.

A lot more.

Looking forward to it.

Superstition.

Fate.

Signs.

I usually waver back and forth on whether I believe it or not.

Sometimes I do. Other times I don’t.

It’s a crap shoot.

Sometimes I do like to temp fate and give a big fuck you to the Universe for being the big dick that it is.

Sometimes.

Why do I bring this up?

2017.

New Year’s.

That’s the year when shit really hit the fan.

It started out well enough. Many things that happened during that year never happened before, like Bo’s sending me out to do photo shoots for work.

Awesome.

But it was also the year that Relish got fucked up. It was the year when my workload and responsibilities skyrocketed. It had been nonstop stress since then.

The year started out innocent enough.

I wanted to bring back a little tradition that I had when the Carter’s were still here. I’d usually spend New Year’s Day with them and they’d usually have collared greens, black eyed peas, fried chicken, and cornbread.

So, that’s what I had. I made me all of the fixings, but did some Ralph’s fried chicken instead.

I’ve been wanting to make it again.

I’ve been thinking about it from time to time, especially this past week.

Should I do it and risk that shitty stuff will happen again?

Or am I being stupid?

I’m leaning towards me being stupid.

I need to make use of the damn ham hock that’s in the freezer and hot damn, I do miss fried chicken.

Fuck it.

Let’s do it.

Fuck fate.

Fuck superstition.

Fuck the Universe.

Be gentle.

Be nice.

I’ll follow you into the dark…

Zen.

Calm.

Tired.

Every time I go floating I come out tired. Drained.

It’s a good drained. A good tired.

It’s like a feeling of deep rest.

I noticed something this time that I didn’t really noticed before. During the times when I’m able to focus and clear my mind, besides the auroras of green that I usually see when I close my eyes, I see a shade of blue and gray.

I don’t know what it means, if it means anything, but I never noticed it before.

Sometimes the blue would sparkle and brighten, then fade into the muted blue gray as it twirls and dances with the green.

Maybe that’s the color of my aura?

I don’t know.

I don’t know what it means, but it’ll be interesting to find out.

Looking at some website, it seems that people who have blue auras are some of the most loving, nurturing, and supportive personalities of the life colors. They live from their heart and emotions. Source: Aura Colors

It’s fitting I guess, if it is true.

I don’t know how much to believe in it. Again, I don’t know what my real color is.

Tired.

Loving.

I lead from the heart.

The heart huh?

The 29th.

A few more days and it’ll be the New Year.

I’m making my way through the things that I wanted to do during the break.

I’m cleaning.

I’m clearing out some clutter.

I’m finishing up my python online class.

Slowly.

I’m chipping away at it.

I signed up for a Power BI class that’ll start on the 31st.

Slowly.

So much to do. So little time.

It’s not that I don’t have time. I have all the time in the world, especially during the break.

I’m lazy.

I’ve been focused on something else during the break.

Art.

Digital Art.

Drawing.

Painting.

It’s by happenstance really.

It’s all because of the new laptop. It came with a stylus/pen and that gave me an idea to do some drawings and now I’m hooked.

I’ve been wanting to go back to fine art for a while now.

I’ve always wanted to learn how to paint.

I’ve always wanted to get back into drawing.

Now’s my chance.

It’s not like I never had opportunities before. I did.

I could have gone the old manual paper, pencil, and pens way, but that’s just too much.

I’m lazy.

This might give me more of an incentive to get back into it.

Formal art classes.

Drawing classes. Painting classes.

I don’t know.

We shall see.

It’ll be a part of this growth that I’m going through. It’ll be a part of this adulting process.

It’ll be good.

I’ve been doing this for a few days now and finished two pieces.

One’s an abstract piece.

Modern art.

I put color to canvas and tried all the tools and options to figure out how to use the tool. It’s a piece where I was fucking around with the software.

Now I know why so many love to do abstract modern art. It’s easy. Put paint where it feels right.

There’s no wrong in the process.

When you think you are done, you are done.

The other piece was my first attempt at making a landscape painting like Bob Ross.

Total fail.

I didn’t have some of the necessary concepts. I didn’t understand the tools and brushes that I was using.

I’m going through a video tutorial now and this one actually looks decent.

I’m getting into it.

I find it relaxing.

I find that I don’t think much about anything while I’m doing these paintings. It’s like when I’m cooking, I only focus on this one task.

I think it’ll be something that I’ll fall back on when I need to unwind and Zen out.

It’s soothing.

It’s another form of meditation.

I need all the outlets that I can get.

Looking forward to getting better though.

I have such high ambitions on where to take my art. I need patience.

Practice makes perfect.

Keep practicing.

Keep doing.

I do admit I was a little ambitious on my first attempt. I wanted to make a painting of a picture I took when I was up north. It’s the square picture of that pyramid shaped rock on the beach during the Odessa Lake hike.;

Too ambitious. Didn’t know what I was doing.

That’ll be a goal for next year.

I’ve already decided that I’ll do at least 10 pieces next year.

I’m sure I’ll do more.

A lot more.

Looking forward to it.

Superstition.

Fate.

Signs.

I usually waver back and forth on whether I believe it or not.

Sometimes I do. Other times I don’t.

It’s a crap shoot.

Sometimes I do like to tempt fate and give a big fuck you to the Universe for being the big dick that it is.

Sometimes.

Why do I bring this up?

2017.

New Year’s.

That’s the year when shit really hit the fan.

It started out well enough. Many things that happened during that year never happened before, like Bo’s sending me out to do photo shoots for work.

Awesome.

But it was also the year that Relish got fucked up. It was the year when my workload and responsibilities skyrocketed. It had been nonstop stress since then.

The year started out innocent enough.

I wanted to bring back a little tradition that I had when the Carter’s were still here. I’d usually spend New Year’s Day with them, and they’d usually have collard greens, black eyed peas, fried chicken, and cornbread.

So, that’s what I had. I made me all the fixings but did some Ralph’s fried chicken instead.

I’ve been wanting to make it again.

I’ve been thinking about it from time to time, especially this past week.

Should I do it and risk that shitty stuff will happen again?

Or am I being stupid?

I’m leaning towards me being stupid.

I need to make use of the damn ham hock that’s in the freezer and hot damn, I do miss fried chicken.

Fuck it.

Let’s do it.

Fuck fate.

Fuck superstition.

Fuck the Universe.

Be gentle.

Be nice.