Chicago.

It’s a few days away.

Chicago.

My Beloved.

My heart.

I’ll be seeing you soon.

Chicago.

Be still my heart.

Work.

As always.

Work.

It’s not a personal trip. It’s been a few years since I’ve gone on a personal trip, but it’s been about a year since I’ve been.

Chicago.

I’ll be going there by myself.

I got a server to set up and to upgrade users to the latest build of Windows 10.

Work.

Work that needs to be done and in terms of workload, should be pretty light.

I don’t foresee much issues.

I should have some free time to play. Looking forward to it.

Looking forward to play.

Explore.

Beyond. Beyond.

That hook. That chorus.

It sings.

My heart. Sings.

Stress.

It occupies my mind. I can’t focus on anything but work.

I can’t think of my creative endeavors. I can’t focus on TV as I just want to numb my mind to all things.

No focus.

But, one thing that’s good about it, I’m not thinking of being in a relationship, or children, or the lack of those things that were, are important to me.

No, I’m only thinking about sex.

I just want sex.

That’s it.

I can only handle that.

Relationships?

Probably not.

I see my crushes at work and no. Nothing in terms of relationships. Just pure lust and desire.

Nothing.

No desire for anything else.

Stress.

It strips away things that were once important and leaves you with your animal instincts to destress.

For me, that’s just the physical.

Nothing more.

Nothing else.

I can’t even put two thoughts together.

I can’t even sit in front of my computer and finish processing my pictures.

I’m so behind.

I’m so beaten.

I don’t want to do anything.

I don’t want anything.

I just want to rest.

Be still.

Not think.

I need to clear my mind.

I should get back to meditating.

Ease my soul, my inner turmoil and stress.

I need to get back to floating.

My mental health is important.

I’m useless to everyone if I’m not healthy.

I need to take care of myself. Better care for myself.

I need to be better.

I need to treat myself better and give myself some slack.

Stop being so hard on myself.

Stop trying to control everything.

I know I hate it when people fuck up or don’t’ do anything and that fucks with my work. I hate it when that happens, and it seems to happen often.

Fun times.

Great times.

Work.

Blah.

There has to be a moment when things get back to a semblance of normalcy, right?

Or is this the New Normal.

Fuck that.

Let’s see if I can write something with a little more substance.

Maybe something from the heart, like how I use to.

Let’s try.

Sigh.

I need a vacation.