My time up here winds down to its final days.

I leave tomorrow night and overall, besides having to work, which I really didn’t mind, it was a good trip.

I didn’t do much or see much, but I never got bored. I had something to do, even if it is work. It was something.

Mom did her usual mom thing and cooked all of my favorite dishes. I do wonder if she cooks for my brother or if it is just me because she doesn’t see me that often and felt obligated to do her mom duties.

I got to see some other family too.

I went to Kiety’s yesterday afternoon and met Faith, her kids, and Julie and her kids, along with Kiety’s family. It was good seeing all the kids again.

I find it funny that Emily and Emerson both want to go out of state for school and they still got a long while to go before they should even think about college.

Emily is a freshman and Emerson is in middle school.

They both know that they want to go out of state for school. Emily says she wants to go to California. She loves California.

Of course, her mom wants her to stay close. Go in state. She doesn’t want her to leave, ever and I’m there egging her on, go out of state. I tell her if she wants to make it a little cheaper to go to college in LA, go to SMC first, get her residency and then apply for UCLA or even USC.

Ultimately, in the end, she knows that she’s way too young to think about college. Enjoy high school, then decide where to go later.

Funny how parents are like that, especially Chinese parents.

They’re old school like that, I guess.

While I was giving Faith a recap of Italy and what I thought, Li said that there were a few things missing. Two girls.

Hahhahaha. She brought that up a few times, me needing a girlfriend or something.

Why won’t they just let it die?

Just. Let. It. Die.

Overall, the trip was great. Catching up with most everyone was great.

Good to be around family again, but I still love being away from it all.

I love being my own little island in the big archipelago that is our family.

There’s the big island where most all of the family is and in the one that’s far off and away.

* * *

Family. Family dynamics and keeping score.

My family is better than yours because we get better presents and we go on more trips.

Ahhh, family.

Can’t live with them. Can’t live without them.

* * *

After the year that I had, that everyone had, I’m a little anxious about what next year will be like.

I love that each year is a blank slate, a new canvas waiting for my new stroke to paint it to whatever it is that I want.

But there are things that happen that are out of my control, things that may happen because of the choices that I make.

I understand that. I know that.

I embrace that.

Leave things behind and start things fresh and new.

I hope I’m able to start things off well, or at least have a boring year.

I don’t want any excitement or drama.

Simple.

Peaceful.

Quiet.

It’s all I ask.

Will that be feasible?

I don’t know. I have no control over what happens.

I go with the flow, letting life happens and making my decisions and hope for the best.

Be an adult about it.

Life.

Time.

It goes.

Embrace it.

* * *

New Year’s Eve.

Last year I spent New Year’s Eve on an airport shuttle going back to where I parked my car.

We didn’t make a big deal out of it when the countdown began and it became New Year’s Day.

This year would be the same. I’ll be either in a cab or in a Lyft or Uber. I’ll pass the New Year with a stranger. It’ll be no different than last year.

The difference this year would be how I spend New Year’s Day. I won’t have any of my furkids with me.

I won’t pick them up until Tuesday, after work.

Last year, at least Relish was home, but I’ll be completely alone on Monday.

It’ll be different. It’ll be new.

I haven’t spent a New Year’s Day alone since 2006. 12 years ago.

Something new. Something different.

Change.

For some reason, I have a feeling that things are going to change for me next year.

I know I want to make a change, but I think there might be something bigger that may change in my life.

I don’t know what it is. Maybe that’s why I have this anxious feeling about what is to come.

New. Change.

Different.

I don’t know what it is, but there’s something in the air.

Something something.

Will it be a good change, or a bad change?

Who knows?

Or maybe I’m going to go back to old habits?

No idea.

Change.

It’s in the air.

It’s inevitable.

Life, the world, tends to fall towards entropy and chaos by design.

Change.

We all just need to find the beauty in that chaos.

There’s always some beauty in it.

There’s beauty everywhere.

Change.

It’s in the air.

It’ll happen.

It’s a crapshoot.

2018.

Blank canvas.

It waits for my first brush stroke that may set the foundation to what the year would be.

Change.

It’s happening.

Let’s see what 2018 will be.

Bring it.