Quiet.

Rested. Well, more rested than yesterday.

The holiday party was Thursday and thankfully, the aftermath wasn’t as bad as it was last year, but it was still bad. At least I was vertical for most of the day.

The afternoon, not so much. I had to lay down for a bit, but I managed to make it through the day.

So, what happened?

I don’t remember.

I find that I black out more and more as I drink. I think it might be the whiskey and I really do need to stop.

Once in a blue moon is fine and in moderation, but man, definitely not to get over my social anxiety and to loosen up at parties.

It’ll be a thing to do. Definitely.

Apparently, while drunk, I was very dismissive to Ccampe and I have no recollection of it. I feel so bad, ’cause I would normally never be so rude to her. I like her, but man, I really do want to know.

I’ll have to ask Liz and Kanya next week.

I wonder what other fucked up thing I did. I know I was being a weirdo according to The Polish. I definitely hope I didn’t do anything bad to her.

Yeah, it’s been heading this way for a while now and I need to listen and just stop it.

I know how I get with alcohol. I need to control it.

* * *

Other than those things? How was it?

It wasn’t bad, or at least I didn’t think it was bad.

Getting home was a shit show, but what else was new. I didn’t driver, thankfully.

I took the train. Passed out on the Expo and missed my stop. Woke up right after the Palms station and got off in Culver. I had to take a Lyft back.

Then, I threw up at my front door.

Me, drinking, isn’t my greatest moment.

Live and learn. I’m just having problems with the learning part.

Got in, took Pickles out, stripped and pass the fuck out.

I woke up at my regular time and made it to work without any problems.

I was responsible, so I think I’ll take that as a win, or a wash, at least.

* * *

Besides Nick, I didn’t really interact with that many people.

Man, there are snippets of conversations that go in and out of my brain. I can’t piece them. Did they happen?

I remember spending a lot of time with Ms. Goodbar. I think she pushed me into a damn bush.

She’s a feisty one and cute and very flirty.

I still don’t understand how this….this, came to be. Was it before Kendall’s party or was that the start of it?

I don’t know and I’m just going to go about my business and not expect anything.

It’s best that we keep it that way.

…that peck on the cheek as you said goodbye…

* * *

Sigh.

My mind is all over the place today.

Fading out. Fading in.

There’s no coherence in though.

Nothing.

Solid.