Tis the season of giving again. It’s that time of year, that holiday feel good time of the year again.

What am I to do?

Am I in a giving mood? It seems to me that I’ve been more charitable as of late or more so at least. I’ve always been giving, but I think I’ve given away to many more causes this year.

Or mostly it’s because so many people hit me up or that there are so many natural disasters and the world is coming to an end and I’m trying to make an effort to help out as best that I can.

What has the world come to?

It’s a strange state of affairs.

Strange indeed.

* * *

It’s only been a week and my body is giving up on me. I was so well rested last week. I felt great, energetic and now, my body screams at me.

Man, maybe it’s because my stomach pains came back again. Apples.

I can’t eat apples anymore.

Fuck.

I love apples. Honeycrisp.

So sweet and so tart.

Sigh.

The end of the year approaches. Soon, in a short three weeks there will be no more work, maybe. Depends on what they want to do in terms of the Social Bridge transition. I may have to work over the break.

I don’t mind. It’s not like I’ll be doing anything important while I’m up north anyway. I’ll most likely be watching shows and movies that I haven’t watched and catch up on some youtubing.

There’s really not much to do but to sit on the couch.

I’ll get my rest then, until then, I’ll have to soldier on.

Soldier soldiering.

* * *

Pressure.

FOMO.

So much media content to consume and I don’t know why I’m putting so much pressure on myself to go through them. I’m listening to my books and then I feel bad for missing out on my podcasts.

I think I just need to figure out what I can do without and what I can’t and just figured out a schedule.

I don’t need to read/listen to a certain number of books a year. They’ll always be there. Just enjoy things.

Stop putting pressure on missing out on things. You never seemed to worry about shit like that before, why now?

Well, there are things that sure, are a part of the general zeitgeist, but others, not so much. You can get to them whenever.

Read whatever you want.

Watch whatever you want.

At your OWN FUCKING TIME.

Slow down. Enjoy life.

I’m 38 and still trying to figure out how to live life. When will it end?

Never.

The answer is never. It’ll always be never.

* * *

I’m just going to go over the year, go over my yearly entries.