I know that I seem like a broken record as of late, but I’m fucking stressed.

I don’t think the workload is about the workload, I think I just stress out on my lack of knowledge on how to do something, or maybe my frustration of not being able to figure something out.

I know that SharePoint in a sense, is a new system to me, but it’s not. I’m not a SharePoint expert. I would consider myself a power user or developer, but I am definitely not an expert, so I should give myself some slack, but that’s not how I operate.

Stakeholders would ask me to do this or do that and I just try and figure it out and I’ll run into roadblocks because I just don’t have the certain skill set to make it work, like coding. Sure, I would watch how-to videos on how to do certain things, but sometimes they’ll just need other pieces of software to make it work and I’ll just get frustrated again.

I’m limited by my knowledge and my resources and my skills. I have no coding experience and some of the things that I need to build or develop requires coding.

But I try and do and experiment and fail and get frustrated.

I have so many projects on my plate that I started to use OneNote to keep track of everything, from concept, what’s been done, how it works, site issues, etc etc.

Again, fuck 2017.

But, eventually I’ll find a solution to my issue and I’m sure it’s not the most kosher way to do things, but it works and I think at the moment, that is what matters.

I am really pushing Benjo to push to hire a SharePoint expert for the Tech department and maybe have our tech guys downstairs learn more stuff.

I could act like a conduit between the teams and the developer and help figure out what the team wants and let the developers do their fucking job and make things work.

Sure, it’ll take work off me, but hey, it works.

* * *

In a way, I really do hate my work ethic.

It’s good, but it’ll be the fall of me.

I have so many projects piling on me and all I want to do, even in my free time at home is to work and finish it.

It’s my coping mechanism to get this pressure off my shoulders. I just need to finish things.

I’m sure it is an OCD thing, but fuck me, so much shit.

I expect a lot of overtime when I really get to it.

Blah.

* * *

I still haven’t had much time to focus on the fucking Miami shoot.

Maybe tomorrow or tonight, I’ll go over the shot list again. I don’t know what the job number is.

But right now, I can’t even focus on anything because of work and me wanting to get away.

Blah. I have a vacation coming up for 4th of July weekend and I still need to prepare and plan for that.

After I get back from Miami, I’ll start planning on what hikes to do and what not. I’ll just say I’m on vacation mode, which is pretty much true.