A new day and back to the grind again of my usual finger tapping.

I have no idea what I am going to write today but I’m just going to write.

I’m already annoyed as the new version of Spotify really sucks dick and I don’t want to go through the hassle of downgrading and preventing automatic upgrades.

I wish that they just stop fucking around with their software. Just makes me not want to use their software and pay for their service anymore.

But, I’m just suck it up right now and just deal with it.

* * *

My weekend of relaxation and being alone is working out well.

I made wontons and cooked some siu mais yesterday. The siu mais are just okay and could be better if the pork had more fat in it, but alas it doesn’t and I have to deal with it.

I guess it is just a weekend of dealing with things.

One thing to be happy of is that my blog is back to its original form as I just copied over all the old settings. Much better and much happier.

* * *

What to write? What do say today?

I don’t know, but I’m just finger tapping, getting back to the grove since it’s been a while since I’ve written anything. I took a lot of time off with Cloud visiting and me being sick and the wedding this past weekend.

I’m getting into the groove, getting back to practice of just writing, even though it is horrible writing, I don’t care.

I just have to put words on top white space and just hope for the best.

* * *

Center.

Breaking thoughts and breaking waves.

Just taking a break from writings and switching subjects or a different flow.

Different different.

Just words onto page as I watch people come and go, distractions.

* * *

Talking with Mikey, him being 10 years younger than I am, it makes me sad what he pointed out. He said that if he wasn’t seeing who he is seeing now, he doesn’t know how he’ll meet anyone.

He’s a home body just like me and he can’t see how he’ll meet anyone.

I totally understand, because I am exactly where he is. Sure, I tried the online dating and I’m at a point in my life where I am not looking for anyone. I’m just living my life, planning my trips, and not expecting anything at all.

I’m just working and living, but keeping things open for that one chance encounter to meet someone.

But, knowing him, I have faith that he’ll find someone. He’s a good kid, but it was funny to hear from him that nice guys finish last.

Yes, there is a truth to that, and I’m at a point where I’m over it. I’m over it.

He’s still young, in a long distance relationship, and he has the right mentality to it. He knows that he’s not willing to move for it, because there is so much that is keeping him rooted where he is. That makes it easier.

I was surprised to hear that he’s such a home body. I always figured that he’d be a little more extroverted.

But he’s a good kid and I have total faith that he’ll do well.

* * *

Shrinking my shoes.

Need to do that, ’cause it is cutting into my heels. It’ll dull the color too. It’s a little too bright.

Man, I really don’t have much to say.

* * *

Sure, after my sessions, I feel a lot better in terms of not being in the rut, having that pressure be gone, and for the most part, my father issues are pretty much resolved.

I did not kill my father. Shit happens.

Let’s just leave that there, but I am still surprised about the whole relationship front.

It’s still a battle of do I want to be with someone or do I want to be alone.

Right now, it is definitely I want to be alone, enjoying my independence.

Maybe I’m just horny and I just need to get laid. Who knows?

I’m just horny.

Being at the wedding and hearing a lot of the older generation talking about how I need to have kids and when I’m going to serve them tea, sure I was annoyed, but it went in one ear and out the other.

I didn’t let it affect me that much, even when and auntie brought up in front of my mom how I need to have kids so my mom can take care of it. There was a slight, what the fuck, but I didn’t let it get to me.

I told others that being alone is the new way of thinking. Marriage is old school.

They all know my stance.

I think they just don’t understand, because they are very old school and in a way, see how such a great guy that I am. They just want the best for me and want me to be happy.

They don’t understand that I’m already happy. Having my independence and freedom and being able and healthy to travel means the world to me.

C’est la vie.

* * *

The world is a fucked up place.

Lots of crazy and sick people.

Bigoted and ignorant people brainwashed by religion.

Hypocrites who preach tolerance and love but practice prejudice and intolerance.

* * *

Life is complicated.

The world is complicated as we try to find meaning and understanding, we just find division and animosity.

Too many people, too many viewpoints, too many conflicts.

There will never be any conciliation.

Touch me like you do / what are you waiting for?

Love.

It happened.

Not to me. I’ve lost that romanticism years ago.

There’s no hope for me. No. No hope at all.

It’s my cousin. He found his love and tied the knot this past weekend.

Congrats to Dat and May.

It was a party all right. A lot of family came down to celebrate. It was a mad house.

It was loud and crowded, as a party should be.

It was chaos, mayhem to my senses and nerves.

But overall, it was fun. It was a great reason for everyone to come together to celebrate. It’s been a long long time since we had any reason to come together to celebrate. Most of the latest gatherings have been of loss and sadness. This was a good change and hopefully there will be more to come.

Thinking of who will be next, I don’t know, but I’m putting money on Lors.

It’s definitely not me, but I would say my bro might be a surprise. Who knows? I already think he’s married with children.

We shall see.

* * *

Updating the themes to the blog fucked up my previous layout. I don’t give a fuck anymore. Blah. Blah indeed.

* * *

It’s been a while since I have written here. Last entry was about my wonderful trip to Iceland.

Speaking of Iceland, I just have this urge to go back. I see all of these pictures and I just want to go. Pack up my bags, buy my ticket and just zoom off into the land of white.

Who knows? Knowing me, it just may happen. We shall see.

So, what had happened since then? Not much really.

Work and sickness.

A short visit by Cloud and then the wedding.

* * *

The wedding. The weekend.

Thankfully it wasn’t a Red Wedding, but more purple/lavendar-ish.

As stated before, it was crowded. There were about 600 people at the banquet.

Who the hell knows 600 people? I know that Dat doesn’t, but it was just crazy.

The more and more of these weddings that I experience, it just cements the fact that I don’t like weddings.

If I am ever fortunate enough to take that leap, there would be no wedding. I know ultimately the choice isn’t mine alone, but I am going to bring it up. No wedding. Elope.

Elope.

Do it.

It would be my style, and it would be totally me.

It wouldn’t be a surprise to my family for they all know how I am and my thoughts on this area already.

A simple email or a Facebook post or even an IG pic saying that I’m hitched. Done. Simple.

I’m all for that.

Crazy.

But yes, it was good catching up and seeing a lot of family again.

It was good see their children grow up and to see that for the most part, I am not doing too bad myself.

Who cares that I’m almost 36 and single?

I know the older generation does as they all keep asking when I’m going to get married or when they’ll be served tea and I defiantly and loudly tell them that they’ll never get it.

Well, I don’t want to say never, but it seems that way. I’m open to the idea of being with someone, but right now, I’m not looking or even care about it.

I’m just more focused on what trips to take and where to go.

I’m married to traveling and my wanderlust nature.

I have my furkids to keep me company and right now, in life, that is all I need.

That is all I need.

* * *

I didn’t really get to talk with the bride at all that weekend. We were never introduced and I’m not the type that introduces oneself to another person and if my cousin doesn’t, there’s really no reason for me to talk to her.

I think we only said three words to each other the whole weekend. She asked me if I wanted to play poker and I said no thank you.

Simple.

I know I could have made more of an effort to introduce myself, but nah.

It is what it is and I don’t think I’ll be seeing them anytime soon at all.

* * *

Script is finished.

Finally, but there are issues and it isn’t good. It’s my vomit draft where I just wrote everything out there and I know that I need to go back and align some stuff. It’s part rewritten, but it isn’t as I changed some elements partway through and I haven’t had the opportunity to rewrite everything leading up to that.

I’ll get to that in the coming few weeks as I need some time away from the script and to wait to hear back from Scott to see what he has to say about the script.

Then, I’ll do a quick draft and then share it with the rest of the group.

But done and done and it feels so good.

Today’s writing is definitely not going well, as for I have no idea what I’m doing.

My mind is just a wandering ride of not knowing what it is that I want to write or say.

I’m sure I’ll figure something out, eventually.

* * *

If you dance on a pole, that don’t make you a ho

Words to live by I guess.

* * *

Alone.

No excitement. No people. No distractions.

I’m just sitting here, mostly alone except for the girls behind the counter, typing away.

Solitude.

I’m looking forward to just being on my own and not doing anything. I’m looking forward to sitting on my ass and watching movies and television and maybe do some light reading.

I’m looking for a tranquil and quiet weekend.

I’m looking for boring.

That sounds so exciting to me.

I want to relax and recharge my body and my mind from the loudness and crowds and excitement of last weekend.

I’m looking forward to just being by myself.

I welcome it.

Doing a little cooking to relax a little bit more.

* * *

It was great to see my bro chit chat with Jen at the wedding and seeing how surprised that my cousins were when they noticed that.

He was smooth.

Good for him.

Maybe I shouldn’t worry so much about him.

I did see a great change in his personality during our Utah trip and he looks awesome and healthy.

Good for him.

Good for him indeed.

* * *

’cause all the cool kids seem to fit in

Yeah, I’m not part of the cool kids.

I’m just doing me.

Man, this post isn’t going anywhere at all.

Hopefully thing will be better tomorrow, ’cause nothing is happening today.

It’s just been a while since I have written anything, or a while since I have blogged anything and I’m just rusty.

My fingers are just tapping away and doing a mind vomit and nothing substantial is coming out.

Nothing at all.

Blah.

Blah indeed.

I think I’ll end it here.

Till tomorrow.