Rain falls, floating down in a mist of droplets, wetting the floor below.

It is a nice day, quiet and cold. It is a perfect day to be home and just not deal with people or work.

I sit here in my usual, trying to brainstorm, but my thoughts and mind brings my attention to world outside and the falling precipitation.

There’s a chaotic beauty in the falling rain. There’s a peace that I sorely miss.

These are reminders of home and of a different place, a different season. These are reminders that not all things are sunshine and clear skies.

Beautiful.

Rain falls.

* * *

It is approaching that time of the year again, the end of the year.

It is time for me to reread all of my posts and try to think and reflect over the past year. What have I learned? Have I grown? Have I become a better person?

Sure, a lot of things that happened this year and being in therapy for so long, there are many things that I have learned about myself, good and bad that I’m sure that I’ll want to work on and improve.

It is what I always believe, never stop growing and never stop learning. Find the better you. Keep peeling back the layers.

Hopefully I can look back and say that I am happier and that I am a better person after everything that happened this past year.

Who knows?

Who knows, indeed?

It always seems that around this time, especially with this weather, I become more reflective and more withdrawn from people. I am fully embracing my hermitude and I have no shame in that. I have no problem with that.

It’s just a part of me and who I am and I don’t know if there is anyone out there that will understand or can deal with it.

Many people may see it as a very solitary life, but that’s what it is about being a hermit, a loner; you’re always alone and you are okay with that.

Like I told Cynthia, I really don’t need companionship. I have my companionship in my pets. They keep me company. I have Scott who, even though we only talk once every few weeks and that’s all I really need. I don’t need anything more.

Maybe it is just something I tell myself, I don’t know, but I feel perfectly content with what I have.

So, it is time. It is time to be reflective and start rereading.

It is just time to see how much I have grown.

The next few weeks until I’m up north and doing my yearly bah humbug, it’ll be time to just reread and reflect.