As I sit here in the lobby with the busy streets of Ho Chi Minh rumbling with zipping mopeds, motorcycles, and motorbikes, I ponder if traveling with family or even with other people is even worth it.

All I know is that I’m tired. I’m tired of many things. I’m tired of the wasted time, I’m tired of the hemming and hawing and the complaining.

Maybe it is just me. Maybe as I have gotten older, I have no tolerance for these things at all.

I know these are things that I’m currently trying to work on in myself, this being accommodating and just letting things be thing, but I don’t know.

I just don’t like to spend the time trying to bargain for a better price when it is already a cheap price. I understand the idea of getting the best deal for your dollar, but still, there is a limit.

I just don’t get it.

Maybe it is just me and I should allow it.

I should just shut my trap and just be happy that I’m on a trip, exploring new parts of the world that I haven’t been to and seeing and experiencing new things. Maybe I should just let things go.

Let it Go as the song says.

Just let it go.

* * *

Stern faces focused and sometimes unfocused on the cluttered road in front of them, the crisscrossing of traffic. I wonder how they do it.

I look at them and at times is amazed at how hectic life is here and the heat…oh man, the heat.

It’s just ridiculous. Blasting upper 90s with high/100% humidity. It’s not a fun place to live.

Dirty air. Dirty streets. Cluttered busy and often loud, Ho Chi Minh City, or Saigon is definitely an interesting city.

As we traveled from the states of comparable city/country, Singapore, coming to Saigon and Ha Noi and even Ha Long bay, a poor and somewhat slowly developing country, it was an adjustment.

I’ve been to poor countries before in China, they are pretty bad, but Vietnam falls into a different place. It’s hard to place.

In a way it functions like any nation, country, city of First World status should function.

They have an economy. Their citizens work, and find ways to make money. They have infrastructure, but in a way, there just seems to be no control.

It’s madness.

The rules in this ruleless nature is so miniscule and small, it seems like no one is following it – in terms of driving anyway. As long as you don’t get hit, or hit anyone, everything is fair game.

Follow the small and little street signs and signals that are scattered around the city, but the rest is up to you.

The rest is up to you.

An interesting city indeed.

* * *

I wonder how different this trip would be different if I had gone on it by myself.

I believe Singapore would have been the same, or roughly the same. Since it was kind of planned like I would have planned it. Pick some general attractions that I would want to check out and go.

Vietnam however was out of my hands. I left it up to my mom, I gave up control over that portion because it was her hood, and I thought I could trust her to do it.

I don’t know, the Vietnam portion just doesn’t feel it has gone the way that I hoped.

Maybe it is because I got sick. I think it is that. I’m very irritable when I’m sick and I’m just letting these little things get to me.

That’s an excuse, yes I know, but it is true.

I’m sick.

We still have a few precious hours here tonight and I want to keep it simple. Just go out to dinner tonight with Vi and the family and then call it a night and be up and early tomorrow to check out and finish our trip in Hong Kong.

Control. I have lost it. I have relinquished it and maybe that is why I’m irritable.

Maybe.

* * *

Fearless.

There are some things to learn from the Vietnamese here.

Fearless.

Just be fearless. Just go through and work your way and find you way, slip through the cracks, make your own road, go against the grain.

Just go.

You stop. You crash.

Just go.

Zip. Zoom.

Just go.

* * *

Scattered thoughts.

Maybe I just needed some alone time, away from people, away from family, my brother. I just need to be on my own, and decompress.

It’s been a long time since I had some alone time. I need to recharge.

How can one go about recharging in such a busy and dense city?

I look around and all I see are two-wheelers just zipping by. Many are solo riders, but I’ve seen two stacked, three, four, and even five stacked. Families riding together, a little boy, his younger sister, and baby brother in his mother’s arms riding in the back.

I look at them and wonder, is life hard?

It seems hard.

I’m privileged.

I have it easy.

I would say that I don’t have many struggles or genuine complaints about my life, about this world.

I should look at them and just be relieved and be grateful with what I have.

I should be grateful that I’m on vacation with my family, visiting the country that I was born in but have no recollection of.

I should be grateful that I have a job that can fund this life that I chose to live.

I should be grateful that I have a small handful of friends that I can count on.

I should be grateful that I have family that I can count on.

I should be grateful that I am alive and breathing and am still capable of wandering this only world of ours.

Lesson today, be grateful.

Relax.

Let it go.

Let it go.

* * *