Here I am again. My usual routine of finger tapping.

The cool breeze of the air-con blowing down on my head as I type along.

It has been a while since I’ve written anything. It has been just a little under a month since my last entry.

My mind has been elsewhere. My thoughts has been on something else, a new project.

My mind is on the creative and it needs it. It definitely needs the new, the analytical thought process of creating something. I sorely miss it.

I’m taking a break today as I have pretty much figured out the first act and have a rough understanding of what it is that I want to do.

The next step is the big one, as I start the first pages. The typing. The creating. The putting words onto page.

It will begin shortly. Next week; for today is a break.

* * *

So what is it that I want to write about today? So what is it that is on my mind that I need to get words onto page?

I don’t’ know.

Just a little free write as I usually do. Free writing to clear the mind.

The instruments are blowing their little twiddling sound as I type words onto the blank canvas.

Life is a mystery, as we are looking for a blank slate. We are looking for the clean whiteness of new. The whiteness that we can put our own creative touch on, something that we can create, our own little piece of the canvas so we can leave our mark in this world.

I don’t need much. I don’t need much at all.

I’m living in the bare minimal of what many need. I have most everything that a person can possibly need to survive into his golden years.

I have over my head, a steady paycheck. I have a companion that just wants to be next to me.

I have a good appetite and relatively good health.

I have everything that one can possibly need to survive.

But why do I feel that some things are lacking?

Is it because I want too much, or because when it boils down to it, we as social animals need socialization and I’m not getting much of it.

Being a hermit that I am, it is tough to find the socialization sometimes. It is just tough to get the right amount of being alone and being with people.

I just need the right balance and at times, I just need to figure out what the fuck it is that I want.

I just need to.

* * *

You’re still constantly on my mind.

It has been a few months, but I still think about you. Thoughts of you lurk in my consciousness, pulling and tugging at this fragile heart of mine.

There has to come a time when you don’t’ have that affect on me anymore. I’m just waiting, silently waiting.

Am I still in your mind?

Was I ever?

* * *

Secret projects.

Performance art.

Art pieces.

There are so arbitrary now-a-days.

I feel like experimenting. I feel like just doing something that is random and random and just not caring.

It is a social experiment to see where it goes.

I just need an angle.

This is what happens when you are bored in life. You find things to do, just to see the outcome.

* * *

It is a quiet day today at the boba shop.

I’m sitting here alone, like I usually do with no one but the boba girls behind the counter.

There weren’t that many customers today, maybe it is because of the weather, but it is nice to just be able to type along without being distracted by eye candy or just people watching.

It is nice to just be able to focus and ramble on so unfocused that nothing I have written is relevant.

It has been a while to just get thoughts that don’t matter down, to just get it out of my head.

* * *

New project started.

Let’s see how it lasts.

Long game.

* * *