It’s gloomy today. Actually it’s been gloomy for the past couple of days.

It has its moments. It has its charm that I do surely miss when it is the usual from around here.

But I don’t know; it has gotten me a little the usual lately. Whether it is because of what I am eating, maybe because I am at a familiar crux in my life, or maybe it is just the time of the month for me. I don’t know.

I’m sure it’ll pass like it usually does. I’m sure it’ll pay whatever respect that it needs to pay me and my heart and just skip along and I’ll be back to myself.

Maybe.

I don’t know. Maybe it is just my diet.

I have been eating out pretty much all week. Food that is beyond my control on what is in it. Sure I could have gone with healthier options, but they were more convenient and I’m a man of convenience.

But it’ll pass as I go on with my life, living it a day at a time, figuring it out a little bit as I go.

That is the story of my life.

* * *

You make me glow.

The story of us goes on like it usually does.

Each day goes by and I am in a wonder of what it is that is happening.

Words spread and opinions are gathered. The verdict is in and it doesn’t bode well for me.

Nothing. Nothing is what is happening.

We aren’t even dancing. I was just never in the game.

But I’ll try like I usually do. I’ll play it to the end like I always do, because that is me. I need closure. I need definite.

I need a sense of concreteness, that final solid solution of “No”.

* * *

We’re up all night to get lucky.

Change. A little more a little less. Change.

I’m making small adjustments here and there. Things that were a part of me that just never really got a chance to blossom because I never put the effort in.

Most of it is superficial; little aesthetic changes here and there in how I dress.

But the heart of the matter is still the same. I’m still the same person. I’m still the same man that I have grown up to be, flaws and all.

Whether these changes are just the natural progression of things because I need to make a change or if they are just some small fundamental changes that I needed to make to get me to the next phase in my life, I’m not sure. But in a way, it does feel right.

These changes in clothing and style don’t feel like they are forced. They are things that I aspire to wear or have some kind of desire to wear. They are a part of my general style to begin with. It was just a matter of finally paying attention to them.

They are me.

* * *

I will wait, I will wait for you.

I belong with you. You belong with me, in my sweet heart.

It so goes the theme for today’s little playlist.

The one that was meant for me. The one that is waiting for. The one that was destined.

Maybe.

I am the hopeless one. I am the one hoping and wishing. I am the romantic with the broken heart.

Here I wait.

* * *

Free

The Heart strings

No longer twisted and tied

Into the jumbled mess of yearning

Liberated from the tortures

Unrequited

Unreturned

Flowing with the motions of free will

To choose the one that returns

Unafraid to share the magical mysticism

Harmonized by the drumming and marching of a running heart

Free to beat

Liberated

To Love

* * *