I’m back again. It’s the third day in a row at my usual away from home, Tolino.

I am doing something I haven’t done in a while. I am writing without the lyrical 1s and 0s that I am so use to blaring through my ears. I totally forgot my headphones today on the landing floor.

Blah. I wonder how good my writing will be today.

I’m going into it blind also, not knowing what it is that I want to say. Do I ever know what I want to say? It seems that recently, I really don’t.

* * *

Happy Chinese New Year’s. Happy New Year.

It’s the first today.

I went to the temple with my mom last night. We paid our respects to our ancestors and the buddhas and prayed and worshipped.

It was a little different than I thought it would be. Lots of chanting and waiting for that one first stick of joss. It was the first wish of the new year and whatever you wished for will come true.

While there I met a few of my mom’s friends. They are friends from work. And I met Judy (or it could be Julie, but I’m sticking with Judy), the friend who helps her with this worshipping and temple stuff.

She seems like a very very lovely and nice lady. I’m glad my mom has a good friend that can help her with this stuff.

Something interesting came out of it though. Judy brought up that she would love it if my mom would find someone to spend her time with, another man. Because we all can’t be alone for the rest of our lives. I’m sure my dad would want the same thing.

It’s going to be hard for my mom, but I don’t know, I think she should do it. I felt this way for a while now. I wouldn’t have any problem if my mom finds someone. I told Judy that I agree, that my mom should find someone.

But I can tell that my mom was very comfortable when this came up, especially when I was around.

Honestly I don’t know if she’ll do it or not. I know that she’s a very traditional woman when it comes to this type of thing, but I do hope that she’ll reconsider. That if a man does come into her life, that she won’t close the door. I just want her to be happy and if finding someone else does, I’ll be happy.

* * *

Snoring.

My brother snores…big time.

It’s loud.

I just hope that I don’t snore that loud. But I just don’t know. I need to record myself one night.

* * *

It’s quiet here today. I’m the only one sitting here in the shop along with the barista-slash-owner.

It’s Sunday. I am thinking that most people are at church today. Being there with their Lord, getting saved.

So, I’m sitting here, without my music typing away as some kind of spanish muzak music blares over the intercom.

It’s going to be a different day indeed. Something different, something new, yet familiar to start out the new year.

New Years.

I do wonder which one I truly accept as the beginning of the new year or can I keep it separate. It’s like my second chance to do New Year’s right.

I don’t’ know.

* * *

Not having music is definitely doing something to my writing vibe. I just really can’t get into it, or I am, I just don’t know what to write.

What is there for me to write about?

Hmmm…

* * *

I need to take a break from the thinking. I’m coming to a crossroads and I really don’t know what I’m going to do.

I’m going to be forced to do something soon.

I need to step back and not think about it for a while. I need to really think through this decision and think about what it will actually mean, and what will come out of it.

I can’t rush this.

* * *

I have a few stories outstanding. I think I have about three or four that I need to actually do.

It’s not a matter of finding the time to do it, it is more a matter of not being lazy and just fucking doing it.

Hopefully I can just do it. Just do it.

They all seem simple enough.

* * *

BLAH. Just BLAH with my writing today.

I need music.

Or something to write about.