It’s approaching that time of the year for me again. It’s that time of the year where I’ll take a break from everything and just write and jot down my thoughts about the year. It’s about that time when I need to just write down my diatribes and my yearly bah humbug.

It is approaching a time for a new year, a new life.

It is approaching the time for a much needed change.

It is time.

It has to be.

I need a change in my life, a drastic change in my life. It is a matter of needing something more, something different than this this I am living.

It is time.

* * *

Life is running away from me.

Life is just sprinting down the field without a destination and the finish line just seems further and further away. It’s unreachable and I’m tiring out.

I’m going to lose this race, if there is a purpose to this race at all.

What is the end goal?

What is the purpose of anything, if at all?

I’m an existentialist. This is life. It is just this.

There is nothing much to it. Live life the best you can. Live life the happiest that you can.

It is what you make of it. It is what it is. Just do it and shut up.

Just shut up and live it.

The control is in your hand. You just have to be positive. Say Yes.

YES.

That’ll be my new word. That’ll be my new attitude.

YES.

YES.

SI.

* * *

It’s cold.

The air conditioner beats down on me, freezing me down to the core.

I put up my hoodie to warm it. On and off. On and off.

The constant schizophrenia of the air conditioner is wreaking havoc on my focus, but I guess it is welcome distraction to this wandering mess of a blog anyway.

But I need to trudge on, need to focus to just pass the day away. I need an excuse just to be here, to write something that resembles what it is and to just have something that I don’t mind reading.

The last couple of things are just things of whatever. A mindless mindlessnes that I have no patience for. A mindless mindlessness that I just dish out because I needed something to write.

* * *