My thoughts slowly drift away and all that is left is a nothingness that is welcome.

No more screams. No more tears. No more fears.

There’s just an emptiness of tranquility.

That is what I am embodying in my current state of mind.

That is what I am here to doing, a mental meditation to get me in the game, to get me into the right mind state to do what it is that I need to do.

Maybe this will last till my dying days, running away from any distractions that might come my way.

Will this peaceful mental stability last?

I don’t know as I ramble on incoherently in this welcomed state of mind.

* * *

Closed Diary.

That is what I was coined last night as my friends had to pull information that I was more than willing to volunteer to them.

It just never came up.

They brought up the question on when will I find me someone and it was then that I let them know what my current situation is.

With all of my hangout sessions with B5 to the cop out of Ms. D. Everything.

It’s not that I am a Closed Diary, which I can totally see people thinking that I am, it’s just that you have to ask about it.

I guess in a way, I do put out the total private vibe, but it’s just weird that I totally never see myself that way.

Weird indeed.

Did you touch her?

That was one of the funnier questions of the night as they were trying to get more details on how I am with B5. I am openly flirtatious with her.

Then Partner Partner opened up about how I am all handsy, especially with the waitress, letting on that I have more game than he is. I totally don’t even remember that happened, but I guess it did, ’cause I do tend to get a little handsy from time to time.

Just funny.

* * *

Keeping myself busy.

Ever since the beginning of the year, I’ve just been trying to occupy myself creatively.

Working on the current projects with Scott, thinking about the rewrite of my current script and trying to get into more prose writing.

As I get my new camera, there will be other creative projects.

Maybe new video shorts and maybe Lego stop motion shorts.

I just need to stop fucking around and just do stuff.

* * *

Writing is becoming tougher and tougher on here.

My mind, these juices, these thought vomits aren’t becoming easier and easier.

Nothing hangs on my mind, but everything is on my mind.

Maybe I just need a break from certain things, from these heart spillings and brain meltings.

I just need to step back and just focus on other things, like a kid’s shoes walking over town, seeing things that it has never seen before.

Maybe, just maybe.