Sweet sweetness of Caroline.

Where is my Caroline? Donde?

I just want to find her so I can just sing my sweet sing songs to her.

Touching me. Touching you.

Oh, Sweet Caroline

Where are our good times that never seem so good?

* * *

It’s another late start for me today. Way late. I’ve been way played in my daily doings up here and I don’t know how time has gotten away from me.

But I am here again, typing at my heart’s content.

Trying to get back to the mindless ramblings of lyrical sing-songs of just random focus twing tangs of my heart and mind.

Little beeps, beeps distracting me as I am keep a cyber company that is over a thousand miles away.

Just typing away, trying to figure it out, keep me occupied.

What is it going to be today? What will be my content today?

Yesterday was an exercise on a focused diatribe. Today, back to my mindless ramblings?

Maybe. Maybe indeed. It seems to be shaping up that way.

Hmm…let’s try an exercise.

* * *

She stands behind the counter twirling her hair, waiting for her next customer. She’s not here by choice, but more by necessity.

I’m sure she would rather be someplace else, off in college, cramming away before the short break of Thanks..

I don’t know her name, but I’ll call her Shanika, even though she doesn’t look close to a Shanika. She’s more along the lines of a Kieoko or a Mei Li. But today, Shanika will suit her just fine.

Young and bright eyed. She still has that sense of innocence about her.

Shanika graduated high school just a short few months ago, but she wasn’t able to get into University. Not just yet. She just reapplied again, hoping, crossing her fingers that she doesn’t get rejected a second time.

Where? My alma mater, the University of Washington – Seattle.

So, here she is, at a local mom and pop’s just standing behind a register, waiting for everyone’s coffee order and preparing their little croissants and pastries that will tie them over till lunch or something to sweeten their palate while consuming the drippings of the bitter bean.

Shanika dreams of bigger things while she’s back there, twirling away.

* * *

Heart breaking.

The loyalty of dogs.

I wonder if Pickles would stay by my side if I unfortunately pass.

Just read a story of a loyal dog.

Like the story says, it almost brought tears to my eyes while making me laugh at the same time.

I’m just a sucker for things like that. I’m just a softie. I just like emotions, ’cause maybe I just grew up with so little of it.

I don’t know.

Blah.

Blah indeed.

* * *

I can see today shaping out to be a good writing day.

Very much so.

See.

* * *

Fix you…again.

It seems that I’ve been stuck in reverse for a while now.

I think of bettering myself, exercising, getting in shape, focusing on my artistic endeavors and broadening my mind with more reading and what not, but I haven’t really been able to do that.

Blah.

Blah indeed.

Maybe I will be soon. Going back home after this holiday, maybe I should.

It should be a new time in my life, as I go back into my air chrysalis hibernating, creating my dota and me being my motha.

We will see what happens.

Will I stick to my guns, getting this tired old body of mine into a much better shape, a shape that will take me into the next 50 or 60 years or so?

Here’s to hoping.

Giving my history, giving the family’s history, it’s a coin toss.

I’m battling nature, genetics that I might end up in the grave sooner rather than later.

Even knowing my shortcomings, I ignore them and live a life that facilitates my death sooner.

It’s not because I’m looking to be buried anytime soon, to test out the theory if Pickles will just be at my grave and never leave, but I’m just lazy.

Pickles being the way he is, being so attached, but so friendly, he’ll just probably find the first nice person that pays him any attention and leave with them, forgetting me…like he should.

He should be happy and warm and cared for instead of waiting next to someone that can’t take care of him.

I want that for him.

It’s just how it should be.

* * *

Running out. Running out of steam.

This stream is drying up, just a slight trickle of something, fighting its way, going with gravity to the big reservoir…somewhere.

Just trying to add to this page, this entry. Just trying.