NOLA NOLA NOLA.

Went and gone, gone and went.  Home home home now.

It was a great trip like most of my trips to anywhere have been, or anywhere I never explored before.  Just a great trip of seeing bands, Arcade Fire, and being a glutton, eating meals upon meals.

Walking and rolling along.  Exploring this new found city and seeing what it is that is to love about it. 

The quaint charms of the buildings, the French Quarter.  The eccentric locals and the sin and sins of Bourbon, street not the alcohol.

All in all, a great time.

I will most definitely visit again and explore other things to see.

* * *

While I was there, my last day, I got a little tarot card reading.  Why the hell not?  Gypsies and Voodoo makers are there.  It would be fun. 

It’s been a while since I got a tarot card reading, not since the first few years that I moved down here.  It was definitely interesting to hear what she had to say.

First off, about the fortune teller.

She was rough.  I would say she was a rough looking 40 year old, but she seems nice.

Of course, as with it being on my mind most of the time, I had to ask about my fortune in "Love".  That one word of relationships.  Whether I have a chance with anyone, what my future will hold.  Will I be alone, living out the rest of my days or would I find someone that can settle me down and spend the rest of my life with.

Interesting is all I can say.

* * *

Now, I don’t know or understand the intricacies of how the cards work, the position and how many cards per position or how to read the cards.  What I’ll focus on is what was said.

Before we started, I had to choose my deck of cards and shuffle them.

I gave the cards back and she laid out three cards.  These cards give her a better understanding of who I am.  These cards are about me, as a person.

From the cards, she gathered that I am coming out of a dark period in my life.  This dark period was caused by a woman.  She didn’t get into specifics, she doesn’t know, but she said it was a woman that was the reason behind this dark period.

Next, she says that I am loyal.  I’m a loyal friend.

Also, she says that I am a man of my word.  What ever I say I’ll do, I’ll do.  It will get done.

For the most part, these things are true. As for the darkness, I’m always dark and moody, but for it to be ’caused by a woman, I’m not sure who she is referring to.  Whether it was Selena Kyle or even Ms. D.  I don’t know.

My infatuation with Ms. D was the latest.  It got me a lil’ upset, but it didn’t effect me that much, or at least I didn’t think it was that much.

One would think that my darkness is rooted in the death of my father, and the fear of losing someone that is close to me again.  That void is still there.  I still think about him, I miss him….

Any who, moving on.

Overall, the reading is going to be in the next year…a year from the time to the reading.

When it comes to past relationships, I’m falling for the wrong girls. They were all manipulative. 

In a way, I can see that with each of them.  I just have a habit of finding the bad ones, the ones that takes advantage of me.  I kind of see it. I do.  I tend to find girls that are willing to give me a chance, instead of the ones that I truly deserve.  I guess that is something that I will have to change.

She says that since I came out of this darkness, that it is time for me to open up and let people in and let the person I was meant to be in.  It is time.  No more dawdling. 

What this means is that I need to stop protecting my heart, which I have been doing for a long long time.  It is time for me to be vulnerable and let people in.  It is time.  She says that I do have opportunities in being in a relationship now. 

It means that there are a few girls out there that are interested if I only know and take action.

It is time.

She says that this girl, this girl that I meet and may be in a relationship, the relationship, the forever one has something to do with education.  She see’s something about education having to do with us.  That’s something that we share.  Grant it that I’m not in school, and no one that I know is in school, I have no idea what it means.

But it will come.

The gypsy teller, not that I know if she’s a gypsy or anything, says ultimately that I just need to stop being stupid.  DON’T BE STUPID she says to me, as the last thing that she read.  DON’T BE STUPID.

In another aspect of my life, she says that I’m very honest with myself, and my life.  I am very true with myself, even though sometimes that changes, who I am, changes, what I believe changes, but with each change, I am honest with myself about it.

She says that this darkness had made me change everything about me, from my foundation and start new again. I found myself again during this reconstruction after the darkness. 

It’s not necessary a bad thing, but I am forever honest and true to myself.  Which is pretty accurate and spot on, if you ask me.  I am very honest with myself.  I know my self pretty well, in and out…what I think, how I feel, and how I’ll react. 

With each year, with each situation, with each newfound idea, I change, I adapt, to make myself a better person.  And with each newfound adaptation, I embrace the change with open arms.

I’m honestly true to myself.  That’s the best thing that I can hear, for me, ’cause it means that I am not lying to myself on anything at all.  I know my flaws and I’m not hiding from them.

How does this relate to my relationship? 

Easy, I have to be true to the situation.  She says that this relationship isn’t going to be a fast one.  We’re not going to meet, fall in love and get married.  It’s going to be rocky.  It’s going to be hard, it’s going to hurt.  That’s what she says, and she says it is something that I need to do, to open myself up to it.

She also said that I needed to be honest with myself and her (my partner) about the relationship.  Things aren’t going to be fun and rosy.  Things are going to be tough.  Don’t blame her for how things are, just be honest with her, i.e. that I’m not happy about this, or that this situation is making me feel this one.  Never blame her. 

But, she could be the one, the proverbial one.  She’s the one that I will have a solid happy relationship with.  Am I ready?

I don’t know.  Can my heart handle it?  I don’t know, but I guess it must.

The gypsy also made a note that basically means I’m a horn dog, but that I am able to control it better now, better than the year before.  I know I am horny, I’m a guy.  Sue me.

When it comes to getting laid, or how I go about it, trying to get laid, I just need not to be STUPID. 

That’s all that I can remember, and that’s pretty much the important stuff about the reading.  The gist, if you pretty much will.

It was interesting for me that she was able to pin me down so easily, the loyal friend, me being honest with myself, being a man of my word, and a dark period.  I don’t really know or believe that a woman was a ’cause of my darkness, but it could be. 

The last time anyone has gotten me in a funk, was Ms. D, but I didn’t think it was big enough for it to be considered the dark period.  I don’t know.

But it’s over now.  It’s over and done and I am a new and changed person, moving on to someone else, to some other unsuspecting girls.

DON’T BE STUPID.

I don’t know what to take from this reading.  I’m not the type to really believe in it.  It’s just something fun to have a reading and get an impression of what is to come, what people can tell from these cards.

It maybe true, it may not.  Some can be true, others are just lies, but it is still fun.

I’m just going to live my life, going the way that it is going and see what happens. 

Let’s just see what happens.