I’ve come here time and time again before doing work that was important to me. Now I just sit here listening the the familiar foreign language of my life coming through my head phones to push out the sound of the chopping, sizzling, and useless talk that fills the air.

I don’t know is happening to me lately. I just sit on and actually enjoy that my life is just passing me by. I go to work day in and day out, come home, walk the dog, surf the web, cook dinner, and just relax. I have no qualms that I’m single and not going out to meet new people. I’m not in a rush to get married to do the things that society and family push me to do. I’m a hermit. I’m falling back to my hermitude. Hermitude.

Going home this past weekend and being around family and all these little cousins and kids; of course the question would come up. “When are you going to get married?” I don’t know. I honestly can’t answer that because, sure it is in my head as to when, but I do not really think about it. I guess I have truly adopted the philosphy, “it’ll happen when it happens.”

There is no rush. What is the rush? I’m 28. I’m 28. I’m still moderately young, though many believe that I’m too old to get married. It’s just a piece of paper, a formality more than anything else.

Family. I love them. I miss them. Being back there, it just made me realize how I fit in for the most part with some family members and others. Those who understand me I get along great. I get along with the elders great. I would like to think they understand me for the most part.

I would have to say that I’ve been the most smart ass with them this time. Especially when it comes to the issue of marriage. I would beat around the bush and play games; telling them what they want to hear; telling them what they don’t want to hear; never giving a straight answer.

I brought up issues of race and orientation and if it really matters. Of course, it really doesn’t, atleast not with me. With some family members it obviously do; but not with me. I’m so open minded that I should worry about my mind falling out of my head.

Well, I guess to my mom, race doesn’t matter much to her at all. She’s not against Tu’s marriage to her black fiancé even though Tu’s parents are. What’s the big deal?

Also, it seems that 5th uncle is totally against me marrying a black girl too. Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. As long as we love each other, I really think that is the only thing that matters. But again, I’m just too open minded and idealistic in that matter.

As to the issue of homosexuality, I know it’s a big deal in our familly and that it is a big no no, even thought Big Auntie says it doesn’t matter. I know it does. The elders of my family is a little too traditional to accept homosexuality. They just are.