Tired.

I am tired. My body just screams for the bed that I sorely miss right now. It screams at the steal chair, the uncomfortable position, the drug that I’m taking. It screams for something more comfortable, something softer and warmer.

Each piercing scream gets louder and louder in my head. I ignore the pain and march on. I have to do this; I have to maintain this routine. If I deviate from the plan, I lose all focus. I can’t lose focus now. I have to focus on my work and nothing else. If not, pain will crawl slowly back into my life again. I can’t have that.

I come here night after night, typing away at this keyboard, writing my little stories about secret lives of other people. Last night it was Stormee, who “seize the day” and did what she must to get her guy. She was a brave soul, yet so tortured from alcohol. Was she thinking straight when she pretended to be passed out while her soul mate rapes her? To her, she was thinking straight; she was thinking clearly. She never thought so clearly in her life as she puts the plan in action. She needed her Christian that night. Stormee got her wish.

A couple of months before, it was a Young Man who raped his good friend. He fed her a few drinks and took her upstairs. He had his way. Finished, he just left her there, passed out and none the wiser, scraps for the buzzards that were flying high above. He did it because he could, because he’s done it before, and because it was a friend. The opportunity presented itself, and being a guy of opportunity, he couldn’t pass up the chance.

How can things like this happen in life? How can something so vile and so wrong happen like it was nothing? How? It just can. That’s life. The Young Man raped his friend who he thought was passed out, but in reality, his friend just used him to get what she wanted, and that was to have him inside her. It was a ploy to get him into bed, because she knows he wouldn’t otherwise. That was all that mattered to her, that was all she needed.

Who is wrong in this situation? Stormee for pretending to be passed out so her friend, Christian, can take advantage of her? Or is it Christian, who took advantage of a drunk friend?

Who’s the bad guy? Or are there any bad guys in this scenario? Funny how things are just left up to people to judge what is right and what is wrong. Many people will see it one way, others will see it another. Many will agree and many will disagree. It’s kind of hard when both are acting on selfish motives. But in life, we all are acting on selfish motives. To some people, they have no problems with taking what they can get, no matter the cost. Others will never consider or even think of the possibility. They just admit defeat and move on.

Fiction. Flights of fantasy these two stories were. Just something I made up to entertain myself. It was something I wrote because I got an idea in my head and I needed to put it on paper. It was taken from an experience from my life. No, I never done anything of the sort, any thoughts of that nature never crossed my mind. No. It never happened. But in a way, I was accused of it. I made it into a story where it actually happened.

That was the story of the Young Man. It was his tale about a friend of his from highschool. He raped her, and that was that. No more, no less. Now the story of Stormee was a fabrication all together with no outside influence. I wrote it because I wanted a companion piece to the Young Man’s story. I wanted it from the woman’s perspective. How it was like to be raped? I don’t know. Instead of going through with her story about being raped, I had to come up with something different. Power. Will. Choice. Manipulation.

The woman had the power. Everything was her doing. She had the power over the man. The Young Man was weak, giving in to his nature, giving into his animal instincts, to his greed and selfishness. The woman showed control. The woman had the power throughout the relationship. All women do. She used him for her own gain. That was all that matters.

So again, who’s the bad guy here? Who is in the most wrong? The man or the woman? Who is to judge?