Here we go again. I found Drew. Drew is now blipped back into my life. I find it funny that Jill said that she was going to move to New York and everything at the beginning of January, but I guess that didn’t happen. Time could have changed things, maybe, maybe not. I just find it funny that Drew is here in Los Angeles, still living in Long Beach, still working at the same ol’ place. Things never changed.

What happened? I knew deep inside that it was just a ploy. It was just a ploy. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, but I don’t know. It just seems wrong you know? Why can’t she just tell me the truth that she’s not interested in me instead of giving me this bullshit that she’s moving to New York to be with the Corduroy suit guy? It’s just too far of a stretch to come up with something like that.

Well, I met Drew again over the weekend. I saw her at Jill’s housewarming bbq. It was an okay party I guess. I didn’t drink that much, which means I didn’t get drunk and didn’t loosen up. I didn’t like the crowd. I don’t know why, but I didn’t like the crowd.

I walked into the door and inside were the girls. Susan, Margo, and Jill kept on saying, “that’s Drew. It’s Drew.” I blew it off, pretended not to hear, not to care. Seeing her, it wasn’t a surprise, and I really didn’t care. The girls were dancing, so I went outside to the patio and chilled with the guys. Introduced myself, got a beer, and then chatted with Rob. It was all right.

Later, there she was, coming out the door and making her way to me. Cup in hand, she poured herself a sangria and we proceeded with the small talk. I told her what I’ve been up to and she told me the same. She’s still working at LACMA, living in Long Beach, and writing about the Metro. Things never changed.

Nothing came up about the trip to New York, nothing came up about anything at all. I didn’t know whether she was bored with me or whether I was just turned off by her, I’m not sure what it was, but things pretty much fizzled after that.

I tried to make conversation with her as the night progressed and I find her keeping her distance. A sign indeed. She’s not interested, and I should leave it at that.

We didn’t get to talk about anything pertinent or talk about anything at all. The night progressed, her ditzy intelligence came out, as expected. How funny how I found it so cute just months ago and now, I could careless about.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s still hot and as adorable as ever, but I don’t know. I don’t know her that well. Would love to get to know her better, but it just isn’t in the stars. We’re not star-crossed lovers, or lovers, or stars. We’re nothing but mere acquaintances; nothing more, nothing less.

The night progressed and the party ended. People left and I stayed. I stayed later than I wanted to, but it was all right. I got to talk to Jill, just about life, about finding one’s way and becoming more comfortable with oneself.

Leina, depressed, tired, and pessimistic, couldn’t keep our company as I told her to go to bed. She finally took a nap. Jill and I just talked and talked and then there was nothing more.

I went home, sober and sober.

I just went home.