Sitting here drinking my wine, or as I finish my wine, I just think of what to write. I think I just may have another glass of wine as I contemplate this latest entry that I’m struggling through.

I’ve already finished a private entry just before this one and I want to continue writing. I actually thought about what to write and what to say, but for the life of me, I just can’t remember what it is that I wanted to say.

What is there to say? I honestly don’t know.

What did I write in that oh so private entry, nothing. Just about a party I went to the other night and that very cute girl that I met. But besides that, there really isn’t much to say.

I thought that there would be much to say. Maybe there is. Maybe there isn’t.

I guess I just need to write about just moving on in general. Again, I got the answer to my question, but it’s been a week since my reply. Should I go on and keep waiting for a reply or should I just let it go. If she doesn’t want to keep in touch anymore, why force her? Why? The last thing I want to do to her or anyone is to force her to do something that she doesn’t want to do. If she doesn’t want to keep in touch. Fine with me.

I will just move one and treat the days like any other. I’ll just go on and treat her like any other. A old friend that I will miss and hopefully one day meet again. If not, then well, I guess we weren’t meant to be friends afterall.

I finally got the true story as to what happened and I do have to say that I did find some parts surprising and others as expected as a 9 month pregnant woman.

I think it is just time for me to finally let go. Nothing can be taken away from this except that fact that I did something. I actually made an effort. I actually tried in some way. It just didn’t work out for me, that’s all. Maybe it will be better another time with another girl. Just maybe.

The party I went to. It was for my friend Jill’s birthday. It was a small intimate gathering with a lot of booze. I had a great time there. We all know that I do have problems with socializing and meeting new people and partying. I was surprised at myself for having such a good time, especially in a room full of strangers except for Jill and Susan, who left early.

I held my own. I enjoyed myself. I had a great time. Besides, the company helped. It helped a lot. It made the time pass by more quickly, and it just made everything that much better.

I do have to say that I surprise myself day in and day out with my new found glory. Where have this confidence, where have this something been all of my life?

Maybe I just am a late bloomer. Maybe I just finally gotten to be me.

Well, I don’t know what to write anymore. I think the wine is causing a writer’s block that I never thought about having. It is just causing me to not think of anything else to add to this little entry. I think I will call it a night.