I have a sickness that is in me. It eats at me every second of the day. I go through each day dying from this terminal sickness. There is no cure, no vaccine. Slowly my body will rot away leaving just a hollow shell of a man. This sickness eats my heart and my soul, leaving me with nothing left.

Obsession. That is my sickness. That is what drives me insane with bouts of depression and fits of fancy. It is obsession that engulfs my life leaving me with nothing but heartache and pain.

I am a psycho. This sickness is making me not right in the head. I have a few loose screws that need to be tightened, but the screws will never be tightened because there is no way to open my head to tighten the screws.

I sit here reflecting and obsessing over my obsession. It is unhealthy. It is hurtful. It is not fair to her or to me. It makes me do crazy things. I write letters of impulse stating my frustrations and my fears and my feelings. My feelings are warped from the unhealthy mind that I have been using to go about my day. This needs to stop.

Recognizing the problem is a big step. Realizing that I need to change is another.

I realize my sickness and I attempt to do the impossible. I attempt to find a cure for this terminal cancer. I must. This obsession has been eating away at me for so long. There is almost nothing left to gnaw on, almost nothing left to salvage. Soon I’ll be just another lost cause in an ocean of lost causes.

I have to save myself and my soul. I need to get out of this infatuation, I need to get out of this relationship. I need to save my soul.