Another year older, another year wiser.

My birthday was this weekend, Saturday as a matter of fact. I’m 25. A quarter of a century. How am I taking it? Like any other day. I really didn’t do much to celebrate, besides ordering out for dinner, but other than that, it was a typical Saturday. Woke up, watched some tv, went to my Great Uncle’s and then went to watch a movie. It was nothing special, for it wasn’t anything special. It was just another day.

As many of my friends know that I’m not a fan of celebrating my birthday and knowing the type of person I am, many of them wrote something funny on my birthday card. They told me not to sleep through my birthday. I find that funny. So I didn’t sleep through my birthday. I slept through the day after my birthday. It was nice. I don’t think I left the house today but to do laundry. Staying at home and sleeping through a bright and beautiful LA day. Nothing like it.

I’m 25. I’m 25. I’m 25. As much as I keep saying it over and over and over again, there’s really nothing significant about it. It’s just a number. Just means, that I made it through another year.

This past year was not an easy one. A lot has changed in my life. A loss, growing up, and just getting better emotionally. I’ve come to terms with my self. Becoming more comfortable with my little quirks and my bouts of PMS (which I don’t have anymore, I’ve gone through The Change) and just accepting myself as a guy who doesn’t like to do much or go out much. It just comes to a point where I do what I want to do, and try not to let my friends and peers dictate what I am doing. Peer pressure, it’s a bitch. I’m not in high school anymore. No social hierarchy to climb, and no face to save. This is me.

But thinking about being 25, I do feel a little dissatisfied with where I am in my life. Looking at where my life is now, I am a bit disappointed to see where I am. It isn’t the place where I thought I would be. When I was younger, I’ve always thought that I would be married, with a kid or two, and in a regular 9-5 that I don’t mind, or maybe being a doctor. Boy, how real life doesn’t live up to dreams and fantasies of a imaginative teen.

I’ve never felt that I’ve accomplished anything that was worthwhile in my 25 years of existence. Others have accomplished more than I can ever imagine. Backpacking through Europe, seeing the world, writing something pertinent and important, performing, doing what they’ve dreamed to do.

Lisa said that I have accomplished something that many other people are afraid to do. Which is picking up and leaving the life that I had and making it in a distance city. She’s right, I’ve done that. But at the same time, I do feel that there are many who are capable of that. I don’t know. I just feel that I am not tapping that potential that I’m overflowing with.

Kate said to me in a letter that I will be good at anything that I will set my mind on doing. I believe her. I know I will be good at anything I do. I’ve always had. Then what is the problem? The problem is that I am afraid to try or to start. I am not doing it. I am starting again. That’s all I can say. I am starting; writing another script. The farthest that I’ve gone since years ago. It is a start. A fresh start to get me back on track to what I want to do. It just seems that I’m finally getting my life back on track. Finally. I’ve met some people and gotten comfortable with myself to take the next step. I found myself already. I’ve done something that I’ve set out to do. Now it is for the next step.

A funny thing. When I first moved down here, I went to a palm reader. A couple of months later, I went to another one. They both said pretty much the same thing. I won’t be settled and make something of myself until after my mid twenties. Between 25 and 28 is when I start to grow and become more successful career wise. Now, whether I believe it, I’m not sure. For the longest time, I did believe in a thing such as fate and destiny. But now, I’m not sure what I believe anymore. I just know what I am doing now, and what I need to do in the near future. Everything else, just let it happen, and I’ll deal with it when it comes.

Now, I’ve gotten to a better time in my life. More comfortable and more confident. I guess it just comes with age. Growing up, getting older, seeing and experience more. Understanding what life is and understanding who you are. Finding oneself. It took me 25 years to do it, and I’m not done either. There’s still a bit of growing up in me left to do. But like Lisa told me, I have only gotten better with age. I think that is true with everything, from wine, to cheese, beer, and even people. Time brings out the finer things. It strips away the superfluous, leaving only the essentials. Leaving yourself.

Let’s all give a hand to time and another quarter century.