Well, here I am writing on this lazy weekend. I just recently got into the mood of writing poems. I don’t know why, maybe it is because of the lack of work I’m doing or my procrastination.

I believed a few entries ago, I asked how different my poems are going to be from the ones that I’ve written a year ago. I think I got an answer. They are the same, and somehow, they are different. Maybe some of you don’t think so, but for the most part they are.

The first two are ones that I’ve written for myself a couple days ago. The next two are ones I wrote for my cousin. He’s trying to get back into writing poems. He got a new love and he wants to write about how it came to be; how he had his eye on her, how he admired her, and how now he knows how to pursue her, how to talk to her, ask her questions. Again, they aren’t that great, but hey, for the most part, they work…I think.

Here they are.

Sitting here contemplating my thoughts
Looking for something that isn’t there
I rack my mind of all the things we’ve done
I come up with nothing
The little touches and glances don’t amount to anything
The “Hi’s” and “Goodbyes” are just formalities of civility
There is nothing between but awkward space

2003-11-20

Oh My! The joy you bring me
Whenever I am down, the sound of your voice just lifts me up
Our talks bring back the joys of my youth
How you would hold me dear and protect me from harm

You lead the life I dreamt of imitating
You were my idol
You were my God
You were my Father

Through our last days, we got closer than we’ve ever done before
You told me secrets that I never felt you were capable of
You told me your feelings
And I told you mine

Our bond is like no other
Our bond is special
Our bond is unique
Our bond made me grow up

When you were gone, there were no words I can express
No feelings I can share because you were the one I want to share them with
Only you would understand, for we are the same
I am my father’s son

2003-11-20

Oh! How I admired you from afar
Shining brightly like a star

Everyone asks what is that glimmer in my eye
Your shimmer is my reply

When I’m next to you, I don’t know how to tell you how I feel
I am all wrapped up in my peel

I dread that I lost my chance
Now all I dream of is to get a glance

I think of words since the break of dawn
Until the final time you are gone

I should have asked about you when you were here
Instead now I am wishing I was there

2003-11-22

I wander the halls lost as a zombie
Going through the routine and the monotony
Laying my eyes on you brings me back to life
For you are the cure to my disease
You are a searchlight for my lost soul
Guiding me back to life to live

I never figured how to thank you for saving my life
For I am afraid to lose you
I search myself to find the courage
But none can be found
I search for words to keep you near
But all that come are moans of despair

I see you leave and I die each day
I need something to sustain our way
I realize that I know nothing of you for we never spoke
So I ask questions that will bind our way
Questions that will let me into your soul
And your answers will ease my soul

2003-11-22

Well there are my poems. I’m really in the mood to write more. I just may. I also need to finish that short story also. Might actually get to it and finish it today or tomorrow.

* * *

My classes are ending soon. I just got one more writing class on Monday and another painting class on December 5th. After that, I have no more classes to take. I’ve looked over the class schedule for next spring and nothing looks very interesting. What am I going to do now? I really don’t know. Maybe I’ll write more to fill the void or paint more also. Haven’t been doing much lately. I thought about painting this weekend, but again, I’m not sure.