I would like to believe that I am a person of spontaneity, but in actuality I really am not. I much prefer routine. I work better that way; it is safer. But now, it never works out that way. I usually have things planned on the weekend; it is usually work. When it comes time to do the work, something else comes up, like going out with PJ to have lunch, or a certain need to visit relatives or just go out for the sake of going out, watching a movie I have some interest in seeing, but going to see it because it is more interesting than doing work.

Many of you will think, hey that’s spontaneous, but it is really not. It is more about me procrastinating and not getting work done. There’s this Assistant Director Trainee program that I have my eye on applying for for the past two months now. I had the application sitting on my desk for the past two months, but I haven’t brought myself to fill it out and send out the application. It’s not one of those easy fill in the blank applications that many are use to. No. It is one of those college application type with the essay questions; “What is the defining moment in your life?” bullshit. It’s just too much work. The application deadline is November 7th, and I haven’t even started. Every time PJ asks me what I have planned for the weekend, I tell him I have to work; which means filling out the application. I haven’t even started. I was supposed to do that today, but I am planning on it next weekend. It will be the only time for me to do it.

Why haven’t I filled it out yet? Don’t know. Fear I guess, plus it is a long application process that spans couple of months. I guess I just want instant gratification. The time I’m spending writing this is time I could have spent filling out the application. Nah, it could wait for next week.

So where does this matter of routine come in? I’ve decided to set myself up with a weekly routine, so I can actually get work done. I have so many things on my plate and so many things I want to do, it’s just a matter of finding time and committing to that time to do it. Here’s the breakdown: Monday: Research, Tuesday: Writing my script; Wednesday: Day of rest; Thursday: Short story writing; Friday: Reading; Saturday: Painting, Drawing, and Writing; Sunday: Whatever that is left that needs to be done. Keep in mind these schedules revolve around the television schedule of the shows I watch, which means most work won’t be started until well past 10pm. Why am I giving myself this routine in the first place? Well last year when I wrote my scripts, I had a routine set out on when to write and when not to write. It revolved around the television schedule of course along with movie night. Movie night is any night when I got a movie from Netflix that I want to watch and send out. It was as simple as that. Any movie night is a night I don’t write. Any other night I write after my normal viewing schedule is over, which usually means after 10:00pm on most nights. Some nights, there isn’t really anything to watch, so I write. So I just want to get back to that time and write. To get all of these ideas I have in my head out, and also to feel productive again.

Also on Mondays and Fridays, I have classes. Creative writing class on Monday and Oil Painting class on Friday. I won’t be home until 9:30-10:00pm, so I don’t expect to do much that night. That’s why they are easy nights.

Creative writing class is a little disappointing. It is totally not what I expected. I was hoping to be in a class where the professor will give us writing assignments and we will write and have people critique our work. This is not the case. The class is like a workshop. You bring in already written work and have the group and professor read the work and they comment on the work. Nothing about giving you guidance on how to write or any direction. I am a person who needs to write with direction. I need to know what I am writing about, where I’m going to take that writing/story, and also a deadline. If I don’t have any of these things, I just stare at a blank screen. I’ll continue to take the class and take whatever value it may have and just hope things will work out. We do have little exercises we do in class and some homework. We already have our first assignment already. It is to write 25 details about someone you are watching. You can probably guess I haven’t done it yet, and you are correct. It is due tomorrow. I got one full work day left. I guess this is where my stalker tendencies become beneficial. I’ll stalk someone and quickly jot down 25 details about him or her or go by memory and write about someone. It’ll all work out, one way or another.

I told Lisa about my disappointment in the creative writing class. She’s taken one for credit at UW – Tacoma. The structure of her class was more like the class I would have liked mine to be. They were giving actual writing assignments. She gave me one of hers to write. It’s due next Friday. The assignment is to write a five page story where a wedding cake ends up in the middle of a road. I really haven’t thought about what my story is going to be yet. I was going to start tonight, but judging by the time, it just doesn’t look like I will start. Probably Tuesday or Thursday, I’ll sit down with a glass of wine to loosen me up and let things flow. I have a vague idea, but I usually don’t stick with vague ideas. Something will come up.

As for the oil painting class, one word, EXPENSIVE. I think I spent around $300 in the past two weeks buying supplies, and I am still missing a few. Of course I bought many things that I didn’t need like an easel and multiple pads of different type of paper, but they may become beneficial to me when classes are over and I start painting on my own. What can I say about the class, it should be interesting. The teacher and one of her assistants are off the wall weird. They are either mentally there or not. There is no in between. We are working on abstract art right now. I was having a little problem at first with our assignment but then I got the hang of it. I’m a quick learner. We should actually start painting next week. I’m a little excited. I have all of these supplies just waiting to be used.

With all of these supplies I have at my disposal, I decided to use some of them. Last night I went back to a love that I had when I was younger, drawing. It’s been years since that summer between my freshman and sophomore year in college that I’ve really drawn anything. During that summer I was working at Bartel Drugs up in the U-Village. I was home alone after work, trying to past the time. I had a picture of Jennifer Love Hewitt as my wallpaper. I decided to draw that. It didn’t’ look like her at all, but the drawing turned out rather nicely. That was probably the first actual face that I’ve drawn pretty well. It actually looks like a real face instead of the normal cartoon faces that I use to draw. Then next couple of nights I decided to find other pictures of beautiful fantasy women and draw them. All of them didn’t turn out well. I lost my gift. After that, I haven’t really drawn anything, until last night.

Sure I doodle when I’m in a very boring meeting at work or when I’m on the phone and need a distraction, but I’ve never drawn anything for the sake of drawing it. I did it last night. While in class, working with charcoal, I just loved the feel of charcoal, the touch of charcoal and how it looked on paper. I decided to do some portraits in charcoal, like the many I’ve seen and loved throughout my lifetime in museums, and saw on television. I found some pictures of people I knew from work, Monica and Stephanie. I had pictures of them from the time we went to lunch together for Danielle’s last day. I drew and I drew. My arms just moved unconsciously to match the shape of the faces, the little nuances, their curves, the shading, their hair etc. etc. etc. What came out were drawings with a very vague resemblance to its model. There are some resemblances that if you knew I was drawing Stephanie or Monica, you could pick out some of their attributes, but if you didn’t know, you would just think they were great drawings of people. The one of Stephanie didn’t turn out as great as the one of Monica. Actually, the one of Stephanie didn’t turn out good at all. I later did a self portrait. I drew the picture of myself from one of the pictures I have up on my website. The one with my brother and my cousins. It turned out to be a disaster. I don’t know how to draw short hair, and I have black teeth. Go figure. What I really like is the shading and how shading really brings the picture to life.

Most likely on the weekends I’ll find other pictures and attempt to draw them. Pictures of people, animals, maybe nudes (not that I have nude pictures, but I know where to find them). I’m just in a very creative high right now, and I just need to create, to do, to draw, to paint, and to photograph.

Speaking of photography, I just bought two new cameras. They should be coming next week. One is an old fashion camera; a Seagull A4 105 and the other is a cheap plastic Holga 120F. Both of them together amounted to about $150. What made me get these cameras? Well one was cheap (the Holga, $25) and the other was cool looking (the Seagull, $100). Also, they are my first venture into medium-format. They both use 120mm film instead of 35mm. Which means bigger negatives, which mean better pictures, especially if you are blowing them up. Also, the pictures are square instead of rectangular. I’ve also bought a tripod for my cameras. Now I could take self portraits, which I was very interested in doing. I could perfect taking pictures of people. See what I like and don’t like when it comes to framing, looks, posing, etc. etc. etc. What can I say, I’m vain.