Well this is my second posting of the day. What happened to the first? I didn’t save it. I wrote my first draft in this program, but as i exited the program so I could log onto it and post my draft..it didn’t save, even though I pressed the save button.

It was somewhat good too…philosophical self indulgent ramblings of my life. Can’t get better than that. Even quoted Joss Whedon through Spike. Oh to have it be saved.

What did I write about, well I wrote about feeling drugged up, depressed, and being lectured by my friend Lisa on happiness, and how I am healing.

I went through a round about way of realizing that I need to stop fantasizing/dreaming about the future and stop reflecting on the past and the good ol’ innocent days of my childhood, to stop looking back at the mistakes, the misopportunities and the choices I’ve made in my life.

Then I went on about me stopping and smelling the proverbial roses. About how Lisa thinks I need to stop thinking so big and need to think simpler on the finer things in life, the small things that makes me happy…Things that aren’t family, or friends, or my independence. Need to focus on the small things like my jeans, or my sandals, or little post its, these type of things that makes me happy.

I also wrote about how Lisa quoted Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and what he sang in the musical episode. Basically that life isn’t bliss, life is just this plain meager existence, and that we have to go through life, and live life to heal and all that good stuff. That life is life.

What I wrote was good. I’m a little upset that that draft didn’t save. I’m a little perturbed at the moment.

Anywho, I finally realize that I am finally “living” life and I am making a conscious effort to live in the NOW and to stop focusing on the future and stop reflecting in the past.

There was even a little bit part where Ms. Kate Kaplan sort of revived that drive in me to go and take classes. I’ve always wanted to go back and take classes, and it is because of her and also Monica; and the fact that there isn’t anything on television anymore, to go back and take classes. I am going to take a photography class.

Well, I would write more, but I lost the inspiration because I just can’t believe the draft didn’t save…..stupid program…stupid computer…Errrghghgghhghghgggggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!